This is a Strange, Strange World
by HotaruNoYami
Summary: Something is plaguing Seireitei but no one knows what it is! Mayuri screws up big time on one of his crazy, deranged experiments, who's going to be taking over his job? Sequel to Just Friends, same crazy adventures with the same crazy OC's.
1. A Little Pest

_Just so you know..._

_Ichigo: Captain of 5th division_

_Renji: Captain of 9th division_

_Err...yea that's basically all you guys have to know, almost everything's the same...oh and the 3 aren't in 13th Division anymore_

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN BLEACH AT ALL!!!** and that's really obvious

* * *

Darkness had Seireitei in its grasp. No, Seireitei hadn't been taken over by some crazy lunatics wanting to take over the world. It was simply nighttime, where everyone was sleeping…or were they really? It seemed quiet enough, no sound resounded throughout Soul Society, heck snores couldn't even be heard. However this peace was short-lived as something came through during the night, no one knew who or what it was…

Soft scratching and trilling noises could be heard throughout 3 girls' apartment. Tori who usually was a deep sleeper woke up to the noise. She sat up and looked around as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. She heard the soft scratches and automatically assumed it was Daichi tossing and turning as usual. She flopped back down onto her pillow and tried to sleep again. The scratching noise continued and seemed more 'violent'. She figured that either Daichi was doing aerobics in his sleep or it wasn't the chimera at all. Well after much pondering and finally deciding that the chimera wasn't doing tae-bo or something she got up to investigate. She grabbed her zanpakutou and searched for whatever it was. After a while she concluded that it was probably one of Mika's pets or something…that is until she heard a little gurgle noise.

"Who's there?" She asked a little frightened. The gurgling went on and seemed to be…louder than before. She stood up and bolted for the door not caring if she made a huge noise, all she knew was that something had entered her home.

"Mika!!" Tori whispered and shook Mika's arm. Mika was a deep sleeper, a really deep sleeper. She needed an air horn to be woken up instead of the traditional alarm clock.

"Ehn…" She groaned and turned her back to Tori.

"Mika!!" she said louder and grabbed a pillow and whacked her on the head. That didn't work so she went to Plan B. "Dot, dot, line, line, spiders crawling up your spine…" Tori chanted quietly as she poked Mika's back sending shivers up her spine.

"What?!" Mika finally awoke and asked the…wall…

"I'm here Mika…" Tori said.

"Oh what's up?" She yawned.

"There's something in here" Tori quickly said.

"Yeah…me you, Rina, Nariko, my 2 moose, the table, a lamp, a blowtorch, a penny—hey look a penny!" Mika pointed at the shiny object on the floor.

"No I mean _something_ else is in our house" She restated.

"Really?" She asked stretching out her body.

"Yeah it's somewhere right now though, what should we do?" She asked.

"I dunno I'm too lazy to move my butt right now, go ask Rina or something" She said lying back down.

Suddenly both girls heard the little noise.

"Tori was that you?" Mika asked looking up. She shook her head with a scared face.

"…Rina!!!!" The two screamed out running towards her room. They automatically shook her, whacked her with pillows, and did anything that would wake her up.

"WHAT??!!" She yelled out grumpily.

"There's something here!!" They yelled out in unison.

"…like what?" She asked.

"I dunno it sounds like R2D2 but moves like a rat" Mika described.

"Uh huh…maybe it's a robotic rat that some idiot snuck into our house" Rina stated.

"Ohhh…"

While the 3 agreed on this something furry entered the room. Bright piercing red, green and blue eyes cut through the darkness. They approached the 3 stealthily and quietly, they didn't notice until they nudged them.

"KYYAA!!!" Tori yelped and jumped onto Rina's bed. "BOUNCY BED!!" She hollered out causing Mika to jump up.

"Uh…" Rina said unable to say what she really wanted to say. "What do you guys want?" She asked the wolf, bat and chimera.

"You know how Seireitei put up those rules for pets?" Hiroshi started.

"Yeah…"

"Well you see we found something…" Daichi added on.

"What?" Mika asked getting interested.

"It's really disturbing and it frightens us, are you sure you want to know?" Isamu asked flying around Mika's head and then landing on it.

"Sure it can't be that bad" Mika said.

"…Moosie…" Hiroshi said.

"What about Moosie?!" Mika asked wondering what had happened to the moose.

"He…he…" Daichi went on.

"What, what, what?!" Mika asked frantically.

"He…he…he…" Daichi continued.

"ENOUGH WITH THE "HE'S"!!!!" Tori yelled out.

"Ok fine!" Daichi stuck out its three tongues out.

"He what?" Rina asked.

"Missed" Isamu concluded.

"What?" Tori asked.

"He missed" Isamu restated.

"…"

"Ya know that rule where pets had to be potty-trained?" Hiroshi reminded.

"AWWW!!! GROSS THANKS FOR THE THOUGHT!!!" Rina yelled out burying her head under her pillow.

"GEE THANKS!!" Tori yelled out and went back to her room completely ignoring what had woken her up.

"THAT'S A GREAT THOUGHT!!" Mika yelled out sarcastically.

"YOU'RE WELCOME!!" All 3 animals yelled back.

* * *

As dawn approached the girls awoken to the sun rays piercing through the windows. Remembering the events that had occurred last night, the 3 completely averted their attention from the bathroom.

"Oh by the way we lied" Daichi said as he walked into the kitchen.

"Huh? About what?" Tori asked.

"Ya know the whole moose thing"

"WHAT?!!" Mika screeched spitting out her water.

"We lied what's the big deal?" He asked.

"Aww…you moron!" Mika grumbled as she trudged out of the kitchen.

"…Well that was an interesting talk in the morning" Rina remarked.

"Yeah usually it's an argument or something" Hiroshi agreed.

"…Well yesterday it was a game of dodge-ball with cookie dough" Tori said.

"Oh yeah…good times, good times" Daichi laughed.

"Yeah until you pelted Isamu with the dough which caused him to tear up the place" Hiroshi reminded the chimera.

"Shut up, it was a life changing moment"

"Yeah for you and for us no doubt about it"

"Hey what's this?!" Mika yelled from the front door.

The group in the kitchen left to investigate what Mika had found.

"Oh whoops nevermind, it's the pizza I ordered" Mika said.

"…you ordered pizza for breakfast?" Tori asked.

"…It's breakfast time?" Mika asked confused.

"Uh…yeah…10 A.M." Tori pointed out.

"Ohhh…I must've ordered this at 7 A.M…." Mika muttered.

"7 A.M. is way too early to be up, remember the time you almost washed your hair with toothpaste?" Rina asked.

"…It would've been minty-fresh!" Mika protested.

"Whatever…"

"Hey shouldn't you be at your division by now Rina?" Tori asked.

"No…why would I be this early?" She asked.

"…Cuz Byaku doesn't like tardiness" Mika reminded her.

"LOL who came up with the word tardiness?" Tori laughed. "Does it have something to do with tards?" She asked.

"…Ya that's why we call people that are slow and late retards!!" Mika answered.

"WOW!! I learn something new everyday!!" Tori celebrated.

"Like I care, I can show up there 2 years from now and he can't do anything about it" Rina said.

"Ok…well I'm staying here til 2 since Renji always ditches work at that time" Mika sighed.

"I don't have to show up at all cuz it's my DAY OFF!!!" Tori yelled out happily.

"Lucky bum…" Mika muttered.

---

"Whoa, did a rat come through?" Mika asked Hisagi and Renji when she entered the office.

"No…what ever gave you that idea?" Renji asked.

"Maybe cuz both of you guys are on top of your desks quivering like a wuss, there's papers all over the floor and everything else is either on its side or upside down" Mika answered.

"…Can't you think of any other reason why we're up here?" Renji asked.

"…Oh god evil yaoi thoughts…" Mika muttered.

"MIKA!!!!" Renji roared infuriated.

"What?" She asked.

"Ok we might as well tell her" Hisagi said.

"OMG!!! Those yaoi thoughts were true weren't they?!" Mika asked horrified.

"Would you get a grip?!" Renji asked thwacking her head with a textbook.

"OW!!" She moaned.

"Something came through here when we were **WORKING** on our **PAPERS** and it destroyed the place, all of the other offices are like this too" Renji told her.

"OHHH!!! Funny, something entered my house last night…" Mika said quietly.

"Did you see what it was?" Hisagi asked.

"No it scared me and Tori so we ran to Rina's room and told her and she said that it was probably a robotic rat or something since it sounded like R2D2 and it moved like rat" Mika explained.

"…Did Darth Vader happen to show up?" Renji asked not believing her.

"…He might've been the pizza guy…" Mika pondered.

"…Get to work" Renji ordered.

"…OK!!" Mika saluted, walked over to the couch flipped it back up and immediately fell asleep on the couch. Yes that was what Mika considered working.

---

"Umm…should I even ask?" Rina scratched her head as she entered the office to see it lay in a huge mess.

"Don't even say anything" Byakuya said clearly annoyed.

"…Should I call Pest Control?" Rina suggested. "Or a maid?"

"Neither it was just a…a freak accident" He answered.

"O…K…" Rina said back totally not believing his word. "I'll go deal with the new recruits" She offered and left.

"Good luck, they're complete idiots" He warned her.

"I've been surrounded by idiots my whole life, I don't think I'll find anything different" She answered boredly and walked out briskly.

---

"YATTA!!! DAY OFF!!! WOOT!!!..." Tori cheered and ran around in circles. She soon came to a stop. "It's quiet in here…" She commented noticing the silence. "…WAH I'M ALL ALONE!!!" She cried out in misery. She wasn't paying any attention to what she was walking into and tripped over the table and landed on her stomach. "Hey a penny!!" She remarked seeing the coin. "…I HAVE A NEW FRIEND!!!" She exclaimed happily having found a penny for a friend. "I'm bored!!" She called out seconds after she was cheering for the penny.

The day went by quickly and many forgot about what had trashed Seireitei, but it didn't really matter as they never found out what had really happened.

---

"So how were they?" Byakuya asked his lieutenant that had returned after a day of training with the new recruits.

"They were great; they mastered what I taught them so fast!" She answered back.

"Really…" He asked not believing her.

"YUP!!"

"What'd you teach them?"

"How to be a master at thumb wars!!" She said cheerfully.

"…And how's that going to help them in battle?" He asked.

"They'll have strong thumbs" She stated.

"…We don't use our thumbs in battle"

"Yes we do!!!"

"Ok then, when do we use them?"

"To hold our zanpakutou's!!!" She answered.

"Did you happen to teach them anything else?!" He asked getting annoyed.

"Yeah"

"What are they?" He asked bracing himself for idiotic teachings.

"Rock Paper Scissors, Torture Tag—they found it very amusing, uh…Capture the Flag, Leapfrog, How to be a Ninja, Tic Tac Toe, oh and we also had a little game at the end!!!" She finished.

"…I don't think I wanna know" Byakuya said with his head pressed onto his hand from the complete idiotic lessons.

"Sure you do!!" She said going on anyways "We had a full-fledged rugby game" She answered.

"…You do know you're supposed to teach them kidou, swordsmanship, and hakuda right?" He asked.

"Yeah but those lessons are so boring!!!"

"…You should have a day off tomorrow" He suggested.

"OK if you insist!!"

---

"MIKA!!!" Renji roared trying to wake up the girl. She turned to face the couch, completely ignoring Renji. "…Are you dead?" He wondered forgetting the fact that she just moved. He bent down to her face to see if she was breathing.

"HYAA!!" Mika yelled out swiftly turning over with her arm outstretched, slapping him right on his cheek sending him to the wall. "Morning!!" Mika yawned. "What happened to you?" She asked her captain.

"…You frickin slapped me!!" He answered sitting up.

"I did?" She asked not knowing her actions.

"Yeah…anyways its time for us to leave, remember to come in here on time tomorrow!!" He said.

"Aww…when do I get a day off?" She pouted.

"…Mika…" He started.

"Yeah?"

"All you do is sleep whenever you're supposed to be working, and you still want a day off?" He asked in disbelief.

"Yeah!! That way I don't have to walk all the way here and back!!" She answered.

'Wait, if I give her a day off then I won't have to do any work at all!!!' Renji thought in his head smiling from the thought.

"…Oh and if I do ever get the day off, you better not make Hisagi do all the work!!" Mika said before she left.

"Dammit!! How'd she know?!"

* * *

"What's for dinner?" Tori asked throwing pillows up into the air to relieve her boredom.

"I dunno" Mika answered turning on the TV.

"Rina what's for dinner?" Tori asked.

"I dunno too lazy to make dinner" Rina retorted.

"…Ok then let's eat out!!" Tori suggested.

"Where?" Mika asked.

"I dunno…"

"I'll ask cap'n then!" Tori said and grabbed the phone. "HI SNOWFLAKE!!" She said cheerfully.

"Whaddya want?" He asked sounding pretty pissed off.

"Can ya help me with something?" She asked innocently.

"If it involves arrows, darts, throwing knives, or cotton-balls, then no" He answered.

"It doesn't involve any of that. You know any good restaurants?" She asked

"What?"

"Know any good restaurants cuz me, Mika, and Rina wanna have dinner but we're too lazy to cook" She explained.

"Go for a seafood restaurant or something" He suggested.

"I DON'T LIKE FISH!!" Mika yelled out.

"Oh deal with it!!" He shouted back before hanging up.

"…There's a seafood restaurant in Seireitei?" Rina asked.

"Let's just settle with waffles" Mika suggested.

"Good enough for me!!" Tori and Rina agreed.

* * *

I might as well list the changes in the divisions right now:

1st Division: Yamamoto Genryuusai-Shigekuni, Sasakibe Chojiro

2nd Division: Soifon, Marechiyo Oomaeda

3rd Division: No captain, Kira Izuru

4th Division: Unohana Retsu, Kotetsu Isane, 3rd seat Yasochika Iemura, Hanatarou (I don't know what rank he had before but let's just say he got a huge promotion and went up to 5th seat)

5th Division: Kurosaki Ichigo, Hinamori Momo

6th Division: Kuchiki Byakuya, Tsukiyomi Rina

7th Division: Komamura Sajin, Tetsuzaemon Iba

8th Division: Kyouraku Shunsui, Nanao Ise

9th Division: Abarai Renji, Hisagi Shuuhei, 3rd seat Kurai Mika

10th Division: Hitsugaya Toshiro, Matsumoto Rangiku, 3rd seat Shinboku Tori

11th Division: Zaraki Kenpachi, Kusajishi Yachiru, 3rd seat Madarame Ikkaku, 5th seat Ayasegawa Yumichika

12th Division: Kurotsuchi Mayuri, Kurotsuchi Nemu

13th Division: Ukitake Jushiro, Kuchiki Rukia, 3rd seat-ers Kotsubaki Sentarou and Kotetsu Kiyone


	2. A Penny and Garden Gnome Havoc

_I have the dreidel song in my head right now, and I found the lyrics on wiki!! Ok I'll shut up now..._

* * *

"OH, DREIDEL, DREIDEL, DREIDEL!!" Tori sang out.

"TORI SHUDDUP!!" Toshiro roared out frustrated.

"What?" She asked. "I have the dreidel song in my head!!" She explained.

"Well couldn't you sing something else? You've sang it 10 times already!!"

"…I'm in my bubble, my bubble, my bubble, bubble…" She sang her bubble song.

"Oh…jeez…"

"Well what do you want me to sing?" She asked noticing his muttering.

"I dunno something that you usually don't sing" He suggested.

"Duh…" She went into deep thought for a mere 2 seconds and started singing…

"Rain, rain, go away, come again another day!" She sang out gleefully.

Hitsugaya banged his head on his desk repeatedly and muttered "It's not even raining moron!!"

"I know that! I just felt like singing it" Tori said back.

"Couldn't you sing something kinda on topic?" He asked.

"…Like what?" She asked curious.

"I'm a little idiot?" He suggested.

She frowned at the name knowing what he had wanted her to say. "Hmm…never heard of it, how does it go?" She teased.

"…nevermind…"

"Thought so…hey look a penny—I'm finding a lot of pennies lately, it must be my lucky day—er, week?" She said quite confused. "No wait…**THE PENNIES ARE ATTACKING** AAAAHHHHHH!!!!" She screamed and ran out as fast as she could, dropping the penny back onto the floor.

"She does know that that penny was there from the beginning of the month right?" Rangiku asked.

"…It was permanently glued down onto the floor thanks to _someone_!!" Hitsugaya shot a glare at Rangiku.

"Soo-ooory!!" She huffed. "…How did she manage to pull it off though?" She then asked.

"What?"

"She pulled the penny of the ground!!" Rangiku repeated.

"B-But that's impossible!!" Hitsugaya said amazed. "No one could get it off, not even the strongest guy in Soul Society!!"

"Well she did, look!" Rangiku plucked the penny off the ground and waved it in front of the captain.

"…and what happened to the floor?" He asked.

"There's a big hole" Rangiku answered.

"I'd better go find her and tell her that pennies aren't attacking us…or any other type of currency" He sighed and left the division.

When he was out of the division, Rangiku swiftly escaped from her division to have some free time.

---

"**PENNIES ARE ATTACKING!! PENNIES ARE ATTACKING!!**" Tori yelled out terrified.

_(Ironically there's something called a penny war...)_

"…OH MY GOD!!! I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!!!" Mika yelled out and pointed accusingly at Renji and Hisagi who stared at her like she was a complete weirdo.

"Uh…pennies can't walk, talk or even move" Hisagi pointed out.

"Oh that's what everyone said about garden gnomes but look what happened!!" Mika retorted.

"Garden gnomes are freaky looking, that's it. They can't move" Renji added on.

"No they do, at night when nobody's looking. Well that's what Rina said, and we saw it with our very own eyes!!" Mika said back.

"You guys were probably dreaming" Hisagi said.

"No we weren't!! They started doing some weird tribal dance and sung like they were about to sacrifice someone or something!" Mika explained.

"…Is there a marijuana grow-op near your apartment or something?" Renji asked. Mika shot him a serious glare.

"I'm serious!!! Just ask Tori or Rina!!!" Mika protested.

"Ok, if you say so…" Renji got up and pulled the screaming girl into the division.

"Tori" He started.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH—yeah?" She stopped her screaming and looked up to the red-head that was almost deaf.

"…Do garden gnomes come to life at night and start dancing and singing?" He asked.

All color drained from her face.

"YES!!! THAT WAS THE SCARIEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!!! I COULDN'T EAT OR SLEEP FOR 324 HOURS WHICH IS I DUNNO HOW MANY DAYS!!!" She yelled out recalling the horrific event.

"Ok now time to ask Rina" Renji said and went on his way, Mika, Hisagi and Tori followed him.

---

A loud noise startled the captain and lieutenant of 6th Division; they looked over to where the door once was. There stood Mika and Tori yelling at Renji and Hisagi who looked as if he shouldn't even be in the picture at all.

"Uh…sorry about the door…" Renji said nervously.

"Nevermind that, why are you guys here?" Rina asked.

"We have a question" Hisagi answered.

"OK…" Rina answered somewhat seeing that Mika and Tori were motioning 'NO!' and sliding their forefinger across their neck. "What is it?" She asked still having an eye on the two who grimaced once she asked her question.

"Do garden gnomes come to life during the night and do they dance and sing?" Renji asked.

"…" Rina was speechless; the second thing that scared her the most was garden gnomes, she couldn't stand them at all.

"Uh…I'll take that as a yes…" Renji said noticing her freaked out expression.

"I TOLD YA!!!" Mika yelled at Renji. "But NO you wouldn't believe me!!"

"OR ME!!" Tori yelled out.

"Oh and Rina I have another question for ya that DOESN'T include garden gnomes" Tori said.

"Um…ok…"

"Pennies can move and talk right?" Tori asked.

"…I guess…"

"HA! I KNEW IT!!!" Tori pointed at Renji and Hisagi.

"Could you 4 leave, now?" Byakuya asked disturbed from the idiotic questions that were floating about.

"I dunno…it's pretty nice here" Mika remarked scanning the office.

"Yeah that's true…" Tori agreed.

"All you need is a new door and you've got the perfect office, I'd give it a 5 out of 5 if there was a door in place" Mika judged.

"Yeah I have to agree with you" Tori said.

"Since when did this turn into an interior decorating contest?" Byakuya asked annoyed.

"Just now" Renji sniggered.

Byakuya's icy cold glare pierced right through Renji and he backed away into a corner for his daily time out Mika usually would've given him. Hisagi on the other hand pretended that he had nothing to do with it only so that he wouldn't be punished.

"…So what now?" Rina asked clearly bored of the sudden silence.

"…I'm hungry" Mika said.

"What'd you have this morning?" Renji asked.

"…Marshmallows…" Mika answered.

"…what about last night?" He asked hoping for something more 'filling'.

"Waffles!!" Tori cheered.

"No wonder you're hungry" Renji muttered.

"Well I guess we could have an early lunch" Hisagi said.

"I'm up for it!" Mika cheered as her stomach growled.

"So whaddya want?" Rina asked.

"Not fish!!" Mika said.

"Something not spicy!!" Renji yelled out.

"AWWW!!!" Rina groaned; she herself liked spicy food a lot.

"An **All You Can Eat BUFFET**!!" Tori suggested.

"Ok then" Everybody (in the room) agreed on it.

"Ok but make sure it actually is an all you can eat, cuz last time it was **All You Can Eat** until the Food Runs out** Buffet**" Rina said.

"Yeah that kinda sucked but there was all that Jell-O and cake" Tori recalled the junk served at the buffet that had somehow ran out of food.

"Hey Tori pennies aren't gonna kill us!" Toshiro yelled as he finally found her.

"AAAAAHHHHH!!!" She screamed and ran around.

"We're gonna get food, wanna come?" Hisagi asked.

"With who?" He wondered ignoring the blur that just whizzed by.

"Everyone in this room" Renji answered nearly getting knocked over by Tori.

"Ok, but don't get drunk cuz I ain't bailing you guys out!" He said that especially to Renji and Hisagi as they were Rangiku's drinking buddies.

On the way there they happened to meet up with Rukia, Ichigo, Zaraki who had Yachiru latched onto his shoulder. It seemed as if Zaraki was itching for a fight with Ichigo.

"Hey! Watcha doin!!" Renji called out.

"Uh…nothing…" Ichigo said quickly.

"Hey why don't you guys come with us for lunch?" Mika offered.

"…At 10:30 A.M.?" Rukia asked.

"…Er…ya…" Mika answered back not realizing the time at all.

"It's ok with me!" Rukia said.

"I dunno…" Ichigo said.

"Oh come on Berry-Tan!!" Tori whined.

"Ken-chan I wanna go!!" Yachiru said to him.

"Alright" He sighed.

_'Now I have to watch out for 3 people…'_ Ichigo thought to himself. Imagining himself having a peaceful, friendly lunch with Zaraki, Renji, and Byakuya wasn't imaginable for him at all. Zaraki might start out a random fight in the middle of lunch when he was enjoying his meal. Renji might start a food fight or go into a major argument. And Byakuya…he'd just beat him up for anything that was out of order.

"Come on!!" Rukia whispered to him. He sighed and said "Alright"

* * *

"Welcome, how many people are with you?" The waitress asked the group.

"11" Ichigo quickly counted and answered.

"Ok then, follow me" She led them to a huge table with 12 seats.

"Oh and we'll need a booster seat" Ichigo said.

"Ok" She went off and got it. "Whose it for?" She asked.

Tori pointed at Hitsugaya and he pointed at her back jokingly. Ichigo nudged them in the side to quit playing around for their sake and also for his.

"It's for the hyper-active tot that tortures us" He answered. "AKA, her" He pointed to Yachiru.

"Aww…do I have to?" Yachiru whined once the waitress left.

"It's either that or a highchair and bib, take your pick" Renji muttered.

"Why not Ken-chan's head?" Yachiru suggested.

"I don't think he'd want food crumbs all over his head, people will start thinking that it's some sort of disease or something" Rukia said.

"Aww ok" She pouted but sat in her seat and was **almost** as tall as everyone else (except for Zaraki of course).

"So what do they have?" Hisagi asked looking behind him.

"I'll go check!!" Tori and Mika said in unison and ran up to the buffet table.

They returned shortly with a long list.

"Fried rice, shrimp prawns, octopus, eel, noodles, sweet and sour pork, beef, jell-o, cake, random fruit, some veggies eww…." The list went on.

"…People eat octopus and eel?" Renji asked.

"Yeah, it's good!" Rina replied. Most of the people at the table looked at her strangely. "What? It is!"

"You're eating my kind!!" Renji moped, talking about the octopus part. (Mika calls him Tako-chan for those who do not remember)

"Oh and there's this section for people who like spicy food like Rina and Byakuya" Tori said.

"And there's also a section full of junk for people who aren't lame like me, Tori, Rina, Yachiru, Rukia and that's about it cuz we aren't old fogies" Mika said. She obviously earned some glares.

"Uh…and yeah…let's dig in!!"

**1 HOUR LATER**

"That was good" Zaraki burped.

"No doubt about it" Ichigo agreed.

"And the best part was, it wasn't an all you can eat until the food runs out buffet!!" Renji exclaimed.

"…All we need is sake and I'm content" Hisagi said.

"Drinks on me!!" Rukia shouted out.

"YEAH! Wait where'd you get all that money from?" Ichigo asked knowing their bill would be pretty high.

"Well this is kinda yours and nii-sama's fault for making me go to this." She started.

"Really" Ichigo and everyone else was interested in her money making scheme.

"Remember the time you and I got into a fight Ichigo?" She asked him.

"Uh-huh"

"And remember the time you and I weren't on good terms since I was seeing Ichigo?" She asked her older brother. He nodded.

"I so remember that!!" Rina intercepted. "Your angsty bro here dumped all of the sh-tty work onto me for a frickin month!!"

"LOL Sucker!!" Renji sniggered; Rina hit him upside the head.

"Ok, during that whole month, we obviously got paid" Everyone nodded taking in the pleasant memory of payday.

"Well during that time I kinda kept some money away from you guys" She said nervously.

"What?!" Ichigo roared. "You were STEALING money from me and him!!" Ichigo pointed to Byakuya.

"I wasn't STEALING I was **PROTECTING** the money from you guys!!" She retorted.

"Well how much did you _protect_?" He asked as their sake arrived.

"…How much do the drinks cost?" She asked.

"About 10 000 yen since we ordered a lot for the major drinkers" Ichigo said hinting to Renji and Hisagi who looked away as if they had no idea of what he was talking about.

"...What a coincidence!!" She answered getting a bewildered expression from both men.

"I'm so gonna have a talk with you later today" Ichigo said.

"Whatever"

They started drinking to their hearts content.

"Ok, we have to pay this off and leave cuz I don't think we can pay for all of it if we keep this up" Ichigo said through his soberness.

"Who's paying?" Hitsugaya asked.

"Well I was thinking Rukia since she's loaded" Ichigo suggested.

"Well I was thinking that ALL the CAPTAINS pay" Rukia retorted.

"I second that!" Rina said.

"Third!" Tori agreed.

"Fourth!" Hisagi called out.

"Fifth!" Mika cheered.

"Sixth!" Yachiru exclaimed.

"That's 6 to 5 right there!!" Rukia said smugly.

"Aww fine…" They groaned and looked at the bill. It was huge.

They pooled in their money and were short by about a 1000.

"Uh oh" Zaraki said.

"Well I'm paying 10 000 of it, what's the problem?" Rukia asked.

"We don't have enough" Hitsugaya moaned.

"Well how much do you nee—" Rukia cut herself short as everyone looked at her suspiciously. "I mean, how much more do you have to pay off? I'm sure everyone else here would help out" She said nervously.

"You guys would?" Renji asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, even though it doesn't seem like it, we would" Hisagi said.

"What's the catch?" Ichigo asked.

"You let us off work for a month" Hisagi bargained.

"No way, 1 week" Ichigo fought back.

"28 days" Tori joined in.

"27" (Ichigo)

"26" (Non-captain)

"25" (Ichigo)

"20" (Non-captain)

"25" (Ichigo)

"What the hell you just put it up by 5 days!!" Renji yelled at him.

"Whatever!!"

"10" (Ichigo)

"9" (Non-captain)

"8" (Ichigo)

"7 take it or leave it!!" The people that weren't captains yelled out.

"…O…K…" They agreed although it was the same number of days they had offered.

They shook on it and they paid the rest.


	3. Portal and Phone Problems

"Hey Yamamoto-soutaichou has a mission for you, Tori, and Rina" Renji notified Mika.

"Huh? How come us three are going if we're in totally different divisions?" She asked.

"Cuz he said that you 3 would be the only ones willing to do it" He answered.

"This means he just dissed practically everyone here!" Mika exclaimed and ran out of the office quickly.

"…He did!"

---

"I want you three to go down to Hueco Mundo to make sure those arrancar aren't doing anything idiotic now that their leaders are gone" He told them.

"That's it?" Tori asked.

"What do you mean 'that's it' Hueco Mundo is a very dangerous place—"

"And you could die. Yeah, yeah we've heard it before" Mika interrupted.

"We'll take it but we'd better call them first" Rina said.

"Why?" Tori asked.

"Remember the last time we went there?"

_**.:Flashback:.**_

_"No, no!! Other way you moron!!"_

_"YES!! I win my bet!! Fork it over Noitora!!"_

_"Hey um…we're supposed to—"_

_"HEY!!!" Grimmjow and all the other arrancar yelled at the 3 for interrupting them._

_"What?" They asked confused._

_"Can't you see we're busy?!" Lolly hissed._

_"With what?" Mika asked._

_"World Cup!!" The arrancar replied._

_"So…" They responded._

_"SO? It's the final game!!!" Grimmjow pointed at their TV._

_"…You have satellite don't you? You could always replay it" Rina reminded them._

_"Yeah but it's not the same!!" Yammy argued back._

_"…You should've called if you guys were gonna come down here!!" Grimmjow scolded them._

_"Well sorry!! We tried but your number isn't online anymore" Mika told them._

_"We changed the number" Ulquiorra said._

_"Ok so what is it?"_

_"LOL-USUCK" Noitora said._

_The 3 looked at them with an 'are you serious?' look._

_"Hey I was going for NON-EMOS" Grimmjow said._

_"…You guys have a serious issue when it comes to phone numbers…" Tori commented._

_"No kidding" Mika and Rina agreed as they plugged the number into their cell phones._

_**.:Flashback:.**_

"Oh yeah…what kinda number is that anyways?" Tori asked.

"I have no idea, they obviously don't have any imagination" Mika said.

The 3 walked out to where the portal/gate/doors were. Once it was set up they walked through it.

**12****th**** division**

**—BEEP!—BEEP!—**

The alarm beeped a warning throughout the division.

"What happened?" Akon asked as he rushed over to the screens.

"I don't know!!" Rin answered back.

"There's a glitch with the portals!!" Another member shouted out.

"What?!" Mayuri hissed. "NEMU!" He shouted out to his daughter.

"Hai" She immediately put up the image of the problem on the big screen.

"Where does it lead?" He asked.

"To…alternate dimensions…" Akon answered.

"What kind of answer is that?!" He spat out.

"It'll take them to anyplace, we can't control it!"

"Fix it immediately!!"

* * *

"…Hey this isn't Hueco Land!" Tori remarked looking at their surroundings.

"Hey this reminds of that place we went to when we were going through those doors in Hueco Land" Mika said.

"Yeah, but where are we?" Rina asked.

"Hey we know you!!" A voice shouted out.

They turned around to see…

"SANTA!!" Tori yelled out happily and glomped him.

"What?! NO!!" Inuyasha yelled out.

"Why are you guys here again?" Kagome asked.

"We dunno…" Rina answered.

"Since last time I never got to ask…" Miroku started and attempted to get close, but Sango hit him hard on the head with her Hiraikotsu.

"He's a perv don't mind him" Shippo told them, Kirara mewed in agreement.

"Yeah we kinda figured that…"

"…We should really be going…" Mika said.

"Yeah but how?" Tori asked.

"Well we can kinda open up portals but they usually lead to weird random places" Rina reminded them.

"Well it's worth a shot"

"Er…"

"Oh yea we'll be going now bye!!"

The 3 released their zanpakutou's and pointed them to one specific spot and jabbed the air. A gate opened up; hopefully it would lead them to where they were supposed to be going.

"…That was awkward" Kagome said.

"Uh huh" Inuyasha agreed.

---

"Now where are we?" Rina wondered as they appeared on a dirt road in the middle of the countryside.

"Whatever; we'll know once we follow this path" Mika said and started walking.

"Ok" Tori shrugged and followed.

They came upon a small house as they finished the path.

"Uh… should we knock?" Mika asked.

"You led the way, so what do you think?" Rina asked.

Well even if they had knocked it didn't matter as 2 figures left the house. A tall robot-like figure and a shorter guy.

"Uh…can we help you?" The shorter of the two asked.

"Uh…yeah I guess, where are we?" Tori asked.

"Risembool…" He answered.

"OK, we are so not where we're supposed to be" Tori said to the 2.

"It's kinda obvious since this place is full of positive energy." Rina pointed out.

"Yeah I know!"

"Uh…what's with the swords?" He asked.

"N-Nothing!"

The 3 quickly put their zanpakutou's together and went into the portal once more.

**Meanwhile at 12****th**** division…**

"What do you mean you can't get them back?!" Ukitake asked with a really worried expression on his face.

"Kay I know you hate Rina for calling you a clown but that's just going way too far!" Ichigo yelled at him.

"That's not the point!!! Our first priority is to get the 3 back but we can't because we don't know what caused the frickin problem in the first place!!" He spat out infuriated.

"Well was there anything around the gate that would hint a problem?" Rukia asked.

"Well there was upturned dirt but that was it, but there was nothing major!!" Rin told them.

"So you're saying it was a mole?" Ichigo asked.

"I dunno!!"

"Well what do you know about the problem because I know there's gonna be at least 3 captains wanting to kill me. And I wasn't even part of it!!" Ichigo barked out.

"OK I JUST HEARD EVERYTHING WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE STINKIN PORTAL?!!" Renji burst into the division yelling his head off. Apparently he wasn't the only one. Multiple captains burst into the division out of concern for all of the shinigami that was dispatched that day.

"What the hell happened?"

"Where is he?"

"Where's the reconnaissance team?!"

"Did they make it on Earth?"

"If they don't come back this is all yer fault…not that I care for em or anything…"

"WOULD ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!!!?" Mayuri yelled out from frustration.

Immediately all captains shut up and looked directly at the captain for an explanation.

"It looks as if what damaged the portals was the same culprit that messed up all the offices" Nemu explained examining the picture of the area around the gate.

"And why we can't get this little pest is why?" Soifon asked.

"If we knew what it was then we wouldn't have this problem would we?" Kurotsuchi yelled out.

"So how long is it going to take to fix this?" Ichigo asked.

"I don't know, an approximate 8 hours" He answered.

"8 HOURS?!" Ukitake yelled out. "They could be dead for all we know!!"

"It'll be 12 hours if you guys keep yappin!!"

* * *

"I always wondered how someone could live in a pineapple under the sea, now I know" Rina stated.

"Uh-huh…" Tori agreed.

"We should try Patrick's rock" Mika said.

"Sure why not"

"Wait I wanna go jelly-fishing!!" Tori yelled out.

"I wanted to try a Krabby Patty!!" Rina said back.

"I wanna go bug Squidward!!" Mika yelled out.

"OK!!"

"Wait shouldn't we try the portal thing again?"

"…Nah that can wait!"

* * *

"I'VE FIGURED IT OUT!!!" Renji yelled out to the world.

"What?" Rukia asked.

"I've figured out what messed up our offices and the portal!" Renji exclaimed.

"Really?" Ichigo asked.

"Yeah, it was…" He started bringing up the suspense. "The garden gnomes and pennies!!" Now he expected some sort of doom sound to ring out instead he got some sort of kiddy-unicorn song, with pink fluffy clouds and a rainbow background.

"What the?" Ichigo asked.

"Renji quit it!!" Rukia yelled out.

"I didn't do it!" He yelled back.

"Well that unicorn looks really, really mad now!!" Rukia pointed out.

"Relax it's just a hologram, right?" He wondered as the unicorn charged at them.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" They shrieked and tried to run away.

"Hey that's where Yachiru's unicorn plush was" Ikkaku said as he grabbed the stuffy and tossed it back to Yachiru, but what about the so-called hologram?

* * *

"Ok, we've been into: Inuyasha, FMA, Naruto/Shippuden but that's like the same thing, Gundam SEED and SEED Destiny, Cardcaptors Sakura, Hamtaro—"

"THOSE HAMSTERS WERE SO CUTE AND THEY COULD TALK!!!"

"|—Ok whatever Mika…, uh…Pokemon—"

"SO KAWAII!!"

"—Would you guys quit interrupting me!!! Anyways, Digimon, Spongebob Squarepants, Fairly OddParents—"

"COSMO'S AWESOME!!!"

"—Mika!!!! God…okay that's it. Where the hell are we?" Rina asked.

"We're in a blank void full of white…" Tori answered.

"And we're floating" Mika added on.

"So…what now?" Rina asked.

"I dunno how bout we stay here, it's peaceful here" Mika said.

"Sure why not."

"Oh umm… random question but, what happened to that unicorn hologram prank thing we got off _e-Bay_?" Tori asked.

"…It was turned off wasn't it?" Rina asked.

"I think, but I can't find it anywhere anymore" Tori answered.

"What does it do again?" Mika asked.

"It attacks people…"

"Oh yeah…"

---

"SOMEBODY HELP US!!!" Rukia, Ichigo and Renji yelled out running away from the unicorn. Toshiro and Byakuya were nearby and heard their shrieks.

"It's that stupid hologram again" Toshiro sighed.

"It'll run out of batteries soon" Byakuya said.

"Let's leave em" Toshiro said and walked away as the trio was running for their lives from something that couldn't hurt them at all.

---

"Hey where are those 3" Lolly asked Grimmjow.

"I dunno they called and said that they would show up but it's been about an hour and they're not here yet" He answered.

"Maybe they got lost" Ulquiorra said.

"Nah they'd find us by mistake"

"Maybe we should call em again to see what's the hold up" Lolly suggested grabbing the phone.

---

"…I hear an ice cream truck…" Tori said when she heard a tiny ringing sound.

"…But we're the only ones here" Mika said.

"…Oh wait that's my phone!!!" She realized and took it out. "Oh well it's just 1 missed call, not like it was important or anything"

---

"What's going on?" Menoly asked Lolly who was staring at the phone as she redialed again.

"They're not picking up" Lolly said.

---

"How come there's so many ice cream trucks but I can't see any?!" Tori wondered out loud.

"It's your phone moron!" Rina told her.

"Oh yea!"

---

"Maybe you should wait longer?" Grimmjow suggested.

"I waited for 5 minutes each time!!" She yelled at him.

"Here let me try" Grimmjow now took the phone.

---

"…Rina don't pick up your phone!!" Tori told her since Rina's phone was now ringing.

"Why?" She asked confused.

"Cuz your ring tone's awesome!!" Tori said; so the 3 listened to the ring tone as it was practically the only source of music they had with them.

---

"What the hell? Are their phones turned off or something?" Grimmjow asked.

"Probably" Ulquiorra answered.

---

"Hey the music stopped!!" Tori whined.

"Maybe I should call them back now…" Rina said.

"Yeah I guess" Mika answered.

---

"Someone get the phone!!" Lolly yelled out.

"Why don't you?" Menoly asked.

"Cuz I don't wanna!!"

"You're right next to the phone though!!" Grimmjow pointed out.

"So what of it?" She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Fine I'll get it…" He picked up the phone to listen to the dial tone. "Stupid prank call" He muttered as he slammed the phone down.

---

"They're not picking up!" Rina told her 2 friends.

"Oh well"

"Should we get going now?" Mika asked.

"Sure"

**Back at 12****th**** division**

"The portal's fixed!!!" Akon shouted out.

"Finally!! You said it would be 8 hours!!!" Ukitake shouted out.

"Yeah but that would be if we wanted to go for a full detailed explanation, we found it in 20 minutes though" He explained.

"Curse you and your scientific crap" Ukitake muttered.

"So where are they?" Kyouraku asked.

"They're in…

---

"LAND OF THE PENGUINS!!!" Mika yelled out with glee.

"It's frickin cold though!!" Rina said.

"Who cares there's a ton of penguins here!" Tori cheered.

"SNOWBALL FIGHT!!!" Mika shouted out and pelted her friends.

"You're gonna pay Mika!!" Rina shouted out.

---

"Antarctica?!"

"Yup that's where they are…"

"Hitsugaya-taichou why don't you go?" Ukitake asked.

"Why me?" He asked.

"You can stand the cold and it's about -150 degrees there" He replied.

"Sure why not?" He shrugged and proceeded towards the gate.

"He's so cute!!!" Mika squealed and hugged a penguin tight. "Can I keep him?" Mika asked her 2 friends.

"Sure but we'll have to keep it in a cold environment" Rina said.

"I know I'll keep him in our freezer!!" Tori and Rina were wide-eyed at her decision. "JUST KIDDING!!"

"…I hear a doorbell…" Tori said suddenly.

"Mika it's your phone!" Rina informed her.

"Oh…yo!"

_"Where the hell are you guys? You were supposed to be here 2 hours ago!!"_ Grimmjow yelled through the phone.

"We're in Penguinville, Population: a lot of penguins and 3 shinigami; Longitude and Lati—

_"I DON'T CARE ABOUT STATISTICS!!!" _He yelled.

"Ok fine we're in Antarctica and we can't really get to Hueco Mundo cuz the portals were messed up and we can't really create good ones"

_"…Ok then…why were you guys supposed to go to Hueco Mundo anyways?"_

"Something like to make sure you weren't being total morons"

_"…We're not, your mission is complete, go home" _With that he hung up.

"Ok we can go back home now!" Mika declared.

"Ok but how?" Tori asked.

"…If you needed help you guys should've called us" Hitsugaya said.

"Oh yeah…"

* * *

I don't own any of the TV shows listed/mentioned above.


	4. And You Say WE Have To Behave?

"With all the occurrences that have happened so far, does anyone have an idea of what is doing this?" Yamamoto asked. He had started another meeting much to everyone's disgrace.

"It messes up our offices so I'm guessing it hates work and it makes Mika have evil yaoi thoughts" Renji spoke up.

"Ahem!! Try to not be so specific" Yamamoto reworded.

"Ok it hates work and is strong"

"…More specific but not disturbing"

"It devours paper, turns over furniture and likes tea…is that specific enough?!" He asked impatiently.

"…That's all I can really expect from you" He muttered silently.

"Its footprints are like a bird but I don't know any birds that can lift furniture…" Unohana started.

"I agree with Unohana-taichou being that the culprit is a bird or some middle-aged person going through their mid-life crisis" Soifon added on.

"And why do you say that?" Yamamoto asked.

"There were feathers—grey to be exact—littered all over the office the day it 'attacked'" She answered.

"Did you get anything on camera, Kurotsuchi-taichou?" Yamamoto turned his view to the captain.

"…I still don't understand why we need to go to such extents for a stupid little thing…" He muttered. "There was nothing on the cameras at all" He answered.

"All we got was a bird that's really strong…are there really any birds like that?" Ukitake asked.

"…Unless it's mutated or something, then no" Ichigo replied.

"We do know it's not a canary, sparrow, hummingbird or any of those tiny birds" Hitsugaya said.

"That are frickin annoying with their stupid 'singing' in the morning" Zaraki added on.

"It can't be any extinct birds because they're…oh wait nevermind" Kyouraku said.

"So you're thinking its some prehistoric bird?" Renji asked.

"Well I was actually thinking of the dodo since they have grayish feathers, are quite big and yeah but it could be an emperor penguin or something…"

"…Penguins have flippers no matter how big they are, and I don't think they have fluffy feathers…" Renji pointed out.

"Then it's a dodo!!" Ichigo yelled out.

"You're a dodo!!" Renji yelled back.

"What was that?!"

"You heard me!!"

Soon a pointless argument broke out between the two captains.

"KUROSAKI-TAICHOU, ABARAI-TAICHOU!!!" Yamamoto boomed.

"Yeah?" They asked in unison unaware of interrupting the whole meeting.

"You two can have your stupid lovers spat after the meeting" Zaraki growled.

"…WE'RE NOT LOVERS!!!" They yelled at him.

"Yeah cuz then you'd be cheating on Mika, and you'd be cheating on Rukia" Hitsugaya added on.

"Not you too!!" Ichigo yelled at him.

"It's called peer pressure" He answered smugly.

"…besides, I don't think Kuchiki-taichou would approve of you cheating on his lil' sis since she'd start wailing and yelling and not to mention hunt you down" Soifon said.

"…Ok now you guys are freaking me out, we are just FRIENDS nothing special happening!" Renji told them.

"Too bad, you guys would've made a good couple" Ukitake joked.

"Hey I'm warning you old man!!" Renji threatened.

"…I may be older than you but I have a huge fan base!" He retorted.

"Yeah cuz you're dying!" Zaraki pointed out.

"Well you and your men have nearly died a number of times and everybody hates them" Kurotsuchi spat out.

"Nobody hates Ikkaku and Aramaki!" Kyouraku defended.

"What about Yumichika?" Zaraki asked.

Everybody went silent.

"Er…he's a smart, and loyal guy and all but he's…prissy" Ichigo said out.

"Yachiru?" He asked.

"She's just cute and nice to be around, nobody can hate her" Unohana said.

"Yeah and she's never really fought so she hasn't been in any life or death situations" Renji added on.

"And me?" He asked.

"Oh don't get me started!" Soifon yelled out.

"There's so much to say; my god I could write a book with a sequel about it!" Ichigo yelled out.

"It's at least 200 pages worth of problems with you!!"

* * *

"…I wonder where taichou is" Rangiku said taking a sip of her sake.

"They said it was a meeting but those only last for a few minutes" Rina said.

"It's been about 10 minutes though, it's not like they'd be back already" Hisagi added on.

"Oh well, more sake time for us!" Ikkaku said happily.

"But they are sure taking their time…"

* * *

"Whaddya mean I'm self centered?!" Zaraki roared not believing what came out of Kurotsuchi's mouth.

"You know what I mean!!" He hissed.

"No I don't why don't you explain?!"

* * *

"I really hope taichou and Renji aren't doing anything stupid" Hinamori sighed.

"Well it's Renji and Ichigo what can you expect?" Oomaeda asked grabbing a handful of chips.

"DON'T SAY ANYTHING WITH YAOI IN IT!!" Rina yelled out knowing that some people already got ideas.

"Wonder if they got in trouble or something" Tori wondered.

"Our captains get in trouble? Never!"

* * *

"Look here man; I don't give a crap about what you have to say!!" Soifon yelled out at Zaraki.

"What'd you say about me Renji?!" Ichigo hissed angrily.

"Do I have to repeat myself?!" He roared back.

"Everybody calm down!!" Unohana, Ukitake, and Kyouraku tried to shut everyone up considering they were practically the only ones that had some sense in them. Kuchiki and Komamura just stayed put silently not wanting to get involved. If they did, it'd probably involve some sort of violence.

"Well, if we can't beat em, JOIN EM!!" Kyouraku declared and started badmouthing towards Kurotsuchi with only 3 or 4 words per sentence that can only be shown on a K rated story.

"WHAT'D YOU SAY YOU DRUNK?!" He screeched and released Ashisogi Jizou.

"Oh motherfu—"

"TRY TO KEEP IT PG-13 HERE!!!" Hitsugaya yelled out.

As Kurotsuchi was on a mad hunt for Kyouraku, all focus to keep the meeting in order was abandoned. Unohana and Ukitake gave up trying to stop everyone as it was impossible. With a captain having released his weapon on another, it was only a matter of time before the rest followed suit.

"HOERO ZABIMARU!!!" Renji roared and swung it towards Ichigo's direction.

"GETSUGA TENSHOU!!" Ichigo fought back.

* * *

"…Did you guys just hear something?" Kira asked uncertainly.

"It kinda sounded like 'HOERO ZABIMARU!!!' from Renji and Ichigo shouting back 'GETSUGA TENSHOU!!'" Mika stated.

"…I so hope they're not doing anything idiotic" Ise sighed.

"And they say that **_we _**have to behave and be sophisticated and mature" Tori said.

* * *

"IT'S WAR!!!" Zaraki yelled and removed his eye patch.

"YOU IDIOT!!!" Soifon yelled at him as she braced herself from his overwhelming reiatsu.

"YOU'RE ON!!!" Ichigo yelled and swung Zangetsu at him.

"…Aren't you going to do anything about it?" Ukitake asked his sensei. The old man sighed and said that it was too late.

"Oi Byakuya!! Release Senbonzakura on him, it will stop him from killing us all!" Ukitake whispered to his former student. He sighed thinking that it was such a troublesome thing to do to stop a crazed idiot.

"Chire, Senbonzakura" He said.

"AAAAAAAGGGHH!!" Zaraki howled out in pain, but it turned for the worst as Zaraki wasn't afraid of pain, he loved it!

"…Anymore smartass ideas you'd like to say?" Byakuya asked his senpai.

"Not anymore" Ukitake said nervously as Zaraki came charging into their direction.

* * *

"Did you just feel that reiatsu?" Rukia asked.

"Uh-huh"

"I think Ken-chan's happy!!" Yachiru exclaimed happily.

"What kind of meeting are they having?" Ikkaku wondered.

"Probably an advanced game of really violent tag where your life is on the line" Hinamori rolled her eyes.

"Probably" Hisagi agreed. "With 3, no 4 complete morons as captains, anything can happen."

"Rangiku-san, how much sake have you had already?" Ikkaku asked.

"About a full jug" She answered dazed.

"Don't you think you should lay off the alcohol for awhile?" Kiyone suggested.

"Nah I'm fine!" She said enthusiastically while pouring another cup of sake.

"Whatever you say"

* * *

"COME ON KILL HIM!!"

"My money's on Zaraki"

"Are you kidding? That idiot hasn't achieved shikai yet!!"

Well as Byakuya and Zaraki engaged themselves into a full-fledged fight, the rest of the captains sat on the sidelines cheering, and placing bets on the duo.

"Is that all you've got?" Zaraki asked. Byakuya didn't answer and deflected all of his attacks.

"Release your Bankai!!" Zaraki shouted out.

"Is that idiot stupid?!"

"What a stupid question!!"

As Zaraki was egging Byakuya on to release his Bankai, all of the shinigami were wondering, where were their captains?

---

"Should we go check on them?" Nemu asked.

"They'll piss off at us if we do" Isane said.

"Don't worry we break in all the time and they've done nothing about it!" Tori said as Mika nodded her head.

"It's true" Rina said.

"…Ok but you guys go in first!" Hinamori said.

"Sure whatever, I wanna know what they're doing anyways!"

---

"Chire, Senbonzakura KAGEYOSHI" Zaraki had driven Byakuya over the edge and forced him to go into Bankai, all of the other captains were in a state of worry however.

"Yamamoto-soutaichou we have to stop them!" Ichigo said actually taking responsibility for once.

"I guess there's no other way" He sighed and drew Ryuujin Jakka.

"**FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!**"

"Wha?" The confused captains looked to the side to see their subordinates cheering for the fighting captains. After all, it was rare to see captains fight each other.

"What are you guys doing here?!" Ukitake asked surprised to see what seemed to be a deranged resistance team.

"…We dunno…" They answered quite dazed.

"KEN-CHAN!!!" Yachiru waved up to Zaraki.

"…"

"Both of you stop fighting right now!!!" Yamamoto yelled to them.

"Aww…" Some of the lieutenants groaned.

* * *

"All of your actions were highly inappropriate, therefore an appropriate punishment should be given" The old man said.

"OH! OH! Can we help?!" The lieutenants and other shinigami with them, asked eager to have some payback on their captains.

"As you wish"

"Spankies!!"

"DT!"

"25 pager essay!"

"Give a 10 minute speech in front of all of Soul Society!!"

"No food for a week!!"

"Stand in a corner with a dunce cap for 30 minutes!!"

"A 48 hour time out where you can only stand!—And no bathroom breaks!! Or food and water!!"

"Watch crappy dramatic soap operas for 2 full weeks!"

"Buy everything we want!!"

"Have a tea party with me and play dollies!!"

"Do all the work for a month!"

"Confiscate their zanpakutou's and replace them with rubber duckies!"

"Take us shopping in the kiddy section, make-up/fashion department and last but not least…the PET SHOP!!!"

"…You guys are mean!" Renji and Ichigo pouted.

"I'm not getting you a bunny Rukia" Byakuya said.

"ICHIGO!!" Rukia whined hoping her boyfriend would get her one.

"Sorry but I have to agree with Byakuya"

"There is no way in hell we're having a tea party with you Yachiru!" Zaraki said.

"Aww…come on!"

"Sorry but we don't really have time for that"

"Yeah you do if you guys get the tea party consequence"

"So how are you picking the punishment?" Rangiku asked Yamamoto.

"Pick a number" He stated.

"Weak" Hisagi commented.

"5" Yachiru said.

"Ok so it's no food for a week" He declared and thus, shunpoed out of the room.

"Bye!" The shinigami waved and strolled calmly out.

"WAIT JUST A MINUTE!!" All captains thundered in a very serious tone. The shinigami halted and turned around meekly.

"Yes?" They asked a bit nervous.

"Did you think you'd get away with that?!" They thundered.

"You're right…we should triple it!!" Yachiru declared.

"OK!!"

"NO!!!"

"8"

"6"

"…so now its also… watch crappy dramatic soap operas for 2 full weeks, and stand in a corner with a dunce cap for 30 minutes!!" Tori declared.

"…You guys are harsh" Ichigo commented.

"We know! Enjoy!!"

"WAIT!!!" Ukitake shouted out.

"What now?"

"I can't 'participate' in this because I have to—"

"Take your daily drugs!" Renji intercepted.

"…Close enough" He muttered.

"Ok you can go" Mika said.

"Hey what about us?!" Ichigo yelled out.

"Have any excuses?" Rina asked.

"Um…I haven't said a word until now" Komamura said.

"Get out" Hisagi said, and the captain walked out swiftly.

"Why do _all of us_ have to be here? Can't you let some out like oh I dunno…me?" Ichigo asked hoping someone would bail him out.

"You're right" Rukia said. "For once" She quickly added on.

"As they've always said, ladies first!" Hisagi said being such a gentleman (show off!); Soifon and Unohana left.

"What part of '**me**' do you not understand?!" Ichigo asked being self centered.

"Whatever _Berry Man_, ok your punishment starts now!!" Mika declared.

"So stand in a corner with a dunce cap and brace yourselves for crappy soap operas!!" Rina said. "See ya in 2 weeks!!"

"And NO we don't choose favorites, no matter how much we love em!" Rukia added on as Ichigo opened his mouth again.

**_2 weeks later…_**

"Hmm…I wonder how it's going in there…" Rangiku wondered and got the guards to unlock the doors. "OH MY GOD!!!" She screeched terrified.

"What is it?" All the other lieutenants asked.

"It's…it's…" She stuttered unable to say what she wanted.

"What?!" They asked unable to bear with the tension.

"It's…oh this is horrible!!" She said quite mortified.

"Oh let me se-oh my god!" Rina shouted out.

"I wanna see!! I wanna see!!" Yachiru said jumping up and down.

"Er…it's not something for little kids to see…" Hisagi said once he had a glimpse of the room.

"Yeah, it's really nothing Yachiru!" Momo assured her.

"But I wanna know!!" She said and started to jump over people's heads for a look at what was inside the room.

"Y-You can't!!" Rukia stammered. "The scene is so vulgar that it should be rated M" She added on.

"My eyes!! They burn!!" Kira cried out clutching his face tight.

"Oh Yachiru! Ikkaku and Yumichika need your help in the office" Isane said pretending to have the two men on the phone.

"Aw alright…" She frowned and leapt off.

"Phew!" They sighed in relief.

"God what were they thinking?" Hinamori wondered as she forced herself to look at the room.

"Are they dead?" Rangiku wondered looking at the captains' lifeless bodies lying astray on the floor.

"…Maybe…considering that they've just watched the worst soap opera for 2 weeks straight, back to back" Iba said.

"Should we check?" Rina asked.

"Well it's the right thing to do" Nemu said.

"…NAH that can wait til later!!"

"Since when have we done anything that's right anyways?"

So the lieutenants left their poor captains in the dark room once again, it wasn't until a week later that Yamamoto found the captains in the meeting room. As it turned out they weren't dead but in a near-death state. Having no food or water when you're a person with spiritual power was something that they couldn't comprehend. They were bedridden for 3 weeks until they regained their strength, but once they recovered they immediately started lecturing their subordinates. Oh joy.


	5. Beat the Heat

"…w…aatter…I…need water…" Rangiku said out weakly clambering for a bottle of water.

"What the hell are you doing?! It's -**10 degrees** here!!" Hitsugaya roared out at his lieutenant's dramatic actions.

"Shiro-chan!! Why'd ya hafta make it so cold in here?" Tori asked shivering.

"Because there's this bimbo here who wouldn't shut up about the heat!" He answered and sat back down in his chair.

"It was 25 degrees, you can't blame her" Tori said.

"…Can I have my water anyways?" Rangiku asked completely forgetting her acting.

"…You have about 5 bottles beside you…" Hitsugaya pointed out.

"Ya but they taste weird!" She protested.

"Maybe cuz its **NOT** water" Tori told her.

"…What is it then?" She asked her.

"Um…"

"It's rubbing alcohol…" Hitsugaya said reading the label with the poison insignia on it.

"Ran-chan you should go to 4th Division before you…" Tori started but it was too late. Rangiku collapsed moaning in pain.

"…I'll get someone" Tori sighed after heaving Rangiku onto the couch.

---

"…4th Division is too far away…" Tori sighed after walking in the halls. "I'll get Rina instead, she was in that division before" She decided and ran to 6th Division.

"Rina!" She called out.

"Yeah?" Her friend looked up from the immense piles of work.

"Ran-chan accidentally ingested rubbing alcohol" Tori told her.

"And how'd that happen?" Rina asked.

"She thought it was water" Tori answered.

"Baka" Both captain and lieutenant of 6th Division muttered.

"So could ya see if she's okay? After all you know all about medicine and stuff" Tori pointed out.

"Yeah I guess…" Rina said and proceeded to the door. "Oh yeah" She said suddenly and walked over to the desk and grabbed a pile of work and placed it in front of Byakuya. "This goes to 1st Division. This 3rd Division, this to 12th Division this…"

---

"Okay let's see what's wrong with her!" Rina said and checked over the woman.

"Everything's wrong with her" Hitsugaya huffed.

"It's not her fault though" Tori said.

"Psh yeah right" Hitsugaya said not believing her.

"What do I need?" Rangiku moaned.

"…Hmm…" Rina said after a moment in deep thought.

"Am I okay? Will I live? Oh please say I'll survive!! I'm too young to die!! I haven't done everything that I wanted to do yet!! I haven't even started a family yet!! Oh tell me I'll make it before sake time!!" Rangiku wailed like a little child.

"…" Rina looked at the female before her in disbelief. "Uh…sorry Rangiku, it's too late for you!" Rina joked; Rangiku thought she was telling the truth though.

"What?! How long do I have?" She asked terrified.

"About 1 hour at the most" She answered stunned that Rangiku thought that she'd die from rubbing alcohol.

"NOOOOOOO!!!" She cried out. "I won't make it in time to have my sake!!!" She whined.

"…Is that all she cares about?" Tori asked her captain.

"Yep"

"I haven't even made up my will yet!!!" She yelled out. "Who's gonna inherit all my stuff?! I haven't even told Gin that I lo—wait a minute…you're kidding aren't you?" Rangiku quickly asked stopping herself from admitting something.

"Wow! 2 minutes and 34 seconds!! That's a record!!" Rina exclaimed at how long it took the female to realize her little joke.

"Seriously, what do I need?" She asked now relieved that she'd survive.

"Just some meds and some rest" Rina said.

"Don'tcha mean her daily meds?" Hitsugaya asked boredly.

"Oh yeah that too"

"Hey!"

"We're gonna die!!" Hisagi hollered running down the hall panicking.

"Haha very funny!" Rangiku shouted to him after having a scare with death moments ago.

"I'm serious! Whatever you do, DON'T GO TO MY DIVISION!" He warned and ran off.

"…What'd Mika do now?" Tori and Rina wondered.

---

"This is what happens when you don't let me cool down the frickin place!!"

Tori and Rina heard Mika yelling from inside the room and a splash was soon heard after. They both looked in cautiously to see Mika with a whole tub of water balloons. She was chucking them at Renji who was soaked from head to toe.

"OK IT'S WAR!!" He roared after another balloon exploded on him. He swiftly grabbed one and threw directly at Mika, drenching her.

"Wow they're…getting along" Tori commented.

"Uh-huh"

"HYA!!" Mika tossed one over to Renji but he dodged.

"OH shi—" Both girls yelled narrowly dodging the balloon.

"That was close…" Rina sighed in relief. "…Tori?" She looked over to see the girl join in on the fight.

"Why not?" Rina sighed and joined in too.

"Why is everyone against me?!" Renji yelped after getting splashed with extra cold water.

"…Dunno maybe cuz you're you" Mika answered.

"What is going on in here?!" Ichigo yelled slamming open the door only to meet a water balloon in the face.

"Whoops sorry!" Renji laughed at the sopping wet captain.

"OK YOU ASKED FOR IT!!" Ichigo roared and got a bucket of water and dumped it all over Renji.

"You moron! That had soap in it!!" He yelled from the stinging sensation in his eyes.

"…Why have soap?" Ichigo asked.

"It's just there" He answered blinking his eyes back open.

* * *

Well after a long time of a tremendous water fight, more and more people joined in. The water that had leaked out of the room drew attention to many people. This of course could've been an excuse to clean up the office but nonetheless it turned into a Gotei Juu-San Water Fight. Of course people were nervous in attacking Zaraki with water balloons fearing that he might start a full fledged fight. But Yachiru brought the 'good' side out of him after splashing him. Well Renji thought it was such a good idea to splash his former captain as some sort of revenge. Of course that wasn't such a good idea but it seemed like it at first. At first Byakuya would just ignore it—until people started ganging up on him.

"You guys shouldn't do that" Rina warned Ichigo and Renji.

"Chill, he hasn't done anything for the last 5 minutes so why would he start now?" Ichigo asked.

"I wonder" She answered with a smug look on her face.

"Eh?" Ichigo and Renji looked back to Byakuya that suddenly had a fire hose in his grip. Immediately the duo was sent back from the strong burst of water.

"W-Where'd he get that?" Renji asked shocked.

"Over there" Rukia pointed over to a closet that was labeled "Mika's Closet of Random Junk"

"Mika, why the hell do you have a fire hose?!" Renji asked her who was having a blast splashing Ikkaku making his bald head shinier by the second.

"I dunno" She shrugged. "I found it"

"…You _found_ a fire hose…" Renji said.

"Yep!"

"INCOMING!!!" Ichigo yelped and barrel-rolled away quickly.

"Huh?" Renji looked around to see everyone scatter away. "What's wrong?" He asked. Suddenly a huge downpour came through the roof completely obliterating the office.

"What the hell was that?!" Everyone shrieked.

Sounds of the whirr of an airplane were in the air as it flew away.

"Was it one of those planes that dump water on fire?" Tori asked.

"I think so…but who was piloting it?" Rina wondered.

* * *

"Oh man that was awesome!!"

"Let's do that again!!"

"…I had no idea you could pilot a plane Aizen-taichou"

"Neither did I!"

Gin, Tousen and Aizen dipped towards a large lake to take up some more water in order to continue where they had left off; that is until the engine died.

* * *

"Ok I think we can call it a day" Ichigo said and trudged out of the room.

"Yup see ya guys tomorrow!" Rukia waved and followed Ichigo out of the room.

"HEY LOOK A FISH!!" Tori exclaimed and pointed at the fish.

"Hey look DINNER!!" Renji pointed at the same fish Tori was pointing to.

"HEY!!! YOU CAN'T EAT MY PET!!" She yelled and thwacked him upside his head.

"…A **salmon** is your pet?!" He asked in disbelief.

"He is now!!"

"What's its name?" Ikkaku asked.

"1, it ain't an 'it'; 2 the name is Fishy" Tori answered.

"Fishy the fishy, ok!" Mika agreed.

Somehow, just somehow, the girls managed to get the salmon back to their apartment—alive.

"Hey Mika…" Tori started as the 3 started watching movies and loaded up on junk.

"Yeah?"

"…What about the office?"

"What about the office?"

"You kinda ditched Renji in the office making him and Hisagi clean up the mess" She answered.

"…What's your point?"


	6. Minor Changes and an Unexpected Duel

"Mika..."

"Yeah?"

"What'd you do to the office?" Renji asked twitching slightly

"Isn't it obvious?" She asked moving objects around.

"Yes but how'd you manage to do this overnight?" He asked watching her every movement.

"I know people" She answered.

"…What the hell happened here?!" Hisagi asked as he stopped in front of what was the office.

"Tinkerbell came here last night and cast some magic and turned our office into Seireitei's Aquarium" Renji answered.

"…What about all the stuff that was in there?" Hisagi asked.

"Next room on the right" Mika answered.

"And the windows?"

"Gotten rid of them so it's practically air tight in there" Mika answered.

"How'd you get all that water?"

"Well since it was half full of water last night I decided to fill it up using water from…"

"Continue…"

"That's for me to know and for you to find out!"

"…Any reason why there are sharks in there?" He asked meekly.

"Oh they're just there"

"…So what are we supposed to do today?" Renji asked.

"I dunno I never do anything" Mika shrugged.

---

"So, hear what happened to 9th, 10th and 11th Divisions?" Isane asked Unohana.

"Hmm…afraid not, what happened to them?" She asked.

"…Well 9th Division was 'magically' turned into an aquarium. 10th Division was turned into an Antarctic Paradise with penguins, walruses and a lot others. And 11th Division was turned into a petting zoo." Isane informed.

"Well that explains what happened to all these people" Unohana motioned to the patients that were lying in bed. Some were suffering from hypothermia. Some nearly drowned; some nearly got eaten by a couple of sharks. And one poor, poor soul was chased out of his division by a stingy llama after a few head-butts, kicks and bites.

---

"An aquarium, a petting zoo, and an Antarctic Paradise! What's next? A honeycomb?" Rina asked tossing papers into the air.

"You never know" Byakuya answered thinking of a honeycomb version of 2nd Division. "A haunted house would suit 12th Division alright" He then added.

"…It's freaky as it is, there's no need to add anything else" Rina told him.

---

"NO, NO, NO!! GET OUT!!!" Ichigo roared as he threw out some men who were holding some documents.

"What's the matter taichou?" Hinamori asked narrowly getting nailed by the men who were thrown out of the office.

"What's wrong? They tried to turn this place into a greenhouse!" He yelled out glaring at a fern.

"What's wrong with that? This place would look better" She said back.

"…They wanted to plant a strawberry field by my desk" He muttered.

"Ohh…"

"Just because 3 divisions already changed, it doesn't mean we have to change too" He muttered.

---

"Feather-brow!! Fuzzy made a stinky!!" Yachiru wailed out from the llama.

"I'm not cleaning it up!!" He yelled out pinching his nose. "Make Ikkaku-san do it!" He yelled.

"I'm not doing it!! I'm busy feeding the goat!" He yelled from wherever he was.

"Ken-chan!" Yachiru moaned from the stink/sight.

"…"

"Oh alright…" She pouted. "Maki-maki!" She called out.

"Yes?" He asked quite nervously.

"Clean that up!" She ordered.

"…uh…"

"By the way, it's not chocolate" Yumichika notified him.

"I think I know that…" He said with a grim look on his face.

---

"Lemme get this straight…" Ukitake started. "You want to change this place into a bunny haven?" He asked the contractor and all the other people filed behind him.

"BBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYY!!!" Rukia squealed and jumped outta nowhere in front of Ukitake.

She peered up at him with huge loving eyes pleading for the bunny haven idea.

"PWEESE!!" She asked/begged in her cutesy 4 year old voice.

"Uh…"

"THAT'S A YES!! GET STARTED!!!" She ordered the men.

Immediately all of them started throwing out furniture, work, and even some people out as they started redecorating the office.

---

"W-w-w-why is i-it s-s-so c-c-cold in here?" Rangiku asked through her chattering teeth.

"B-b-b-bec-c-cause it's an A-a-Antarctic P-p-paradise!" Tori mocked Rangiku who was having a great time slipping and sliding with the penguins.

"Just think of it as Christmas!!" She yelled out belly sliding with a penguin.

"In **JUNE**?!"

"First it's too hot, and then it's too cold! When are you going to like it?" Hitsugaya asked.

Her eyes drifted to the ceiling innocently as a snowball splattered on Toshiro's face.

"Sorry!" Tori yelled out.

"Now I like it!" Rangiku cheered while her captain was now fuming.

---

"A daycare?!" Yamamoto asked nearly falling off of his seat.

"Yes a daycare" The contractor answered.

"What made you think that my division would become a daycare?"

"Well for starters kids would think of you as an old grandpa and want stories from you" He answered.

"…Who are you anyways?" Yamamoto asked.

"…That's confidential"

"…Get out"

"Yes sir"

"How did all these people get in here?" Yamamoto wondered.

---

"Uh-huh…ye-no" Komamura just rejected the idea of having his division being transformed into a bar.

"Why not?" Iba asked thinking of all the alcohol that would be in his division.

"You get your alcohol consumption by your daily sake times, and a bar is not what we need right now. We're fine as of now" Komamura said and kicked all the people out.

"…Damn…" Iba muttered.

---

"Yes, orange and blue do go together in some cases, but it doesn't work in the office"

"…Hmm…what about…"

"Rina…"

"…Hold on!! Hey whaddya think of pine green?" Rina asked him.

"Excuse me?"

"You're right, it doesn't work" She said.

"How do you guys even know each other?" Byakuya asked Rina who was discussing with the contractor.

"Ya know how Mika has a ton of pets?" She asked him.

"Uh-huh"

"Well it was time for us to find a new place. Now since the prices of housing are so damned expensive here…this is how we met these guys!" Rina told him.

"Right…well…sorry but they have to go, Seireitei is stuck in a pit as it is and we don't need to dig any deeper" He said.

"Aww…ok…" Rina said and told the contractor person to kick all of his men out.

"…You know…I think pine green would've worked here" Byakuya said once the men left.

"Really?" Rina asked.

"No"

---

"Well good news is the weird people left" Ukitake said out loud.

"GAH! Finally!" Kiyone and Sentarou sighed in relief.

"Bad news is…they left a little too late" Ukitake sighed at the bouncing fur balls that Rukia just adored.

"Well at least it's just bunnies; think what Zaraki-taichou has to deal with since there's a llama there!" Kiyone pointed out.

"What about 9th? They've got sharks, whales and everything!" Sentarou added on.

"…How'd they get a whale in there?" Ukitake wondered.

"Good question…"

---

"We have a problem…" Renji muttered as he stared up through the glass pane at the marine life.

"Agreed…" Hisagi agreed with Renji.

"How are we going to relocate these guys?" Renji wondered out loud.

"MIKA!!!"

---

"But they're my penguin friends!!" Tori whimpered as Toshiro said that they had to change the office back to what it was originally.

"Sorry but…"

"No!!" She whined. "They don't wanna leave!!" She told him. "See look!" She held the penguins up who had a puppy…penguin face on.

"…"

"PLEASE!!!"

"…Keep em as your pets or something, they're your problem now" He sighed.

"YAY!!! ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU TAICHOU!!!" Tori screamed out loud happily and hugged Toshiro so tightly that he couldn't breathe.

"To…ri…" He gasped.

"Oh whoops" She released her grasp. "Hehe…my bad"

---

"I just remembered something" Ukitake said in discomfort.

"Really" Kiyone and Sentarou wondered.

"Bunnies multiply…FAST!"

"…Rukia-chan, could you move the bunnies somewhere not here?" Kiyone asked meekly.

"OK! I'll have them move in to my room!" She exclaimed; she got a huge wagon, piled the bunnies onto it and pulled the wagon full of bunnies away.

"PHEW!"

"AWWW GREAT LOOK AT THE MESS THEY MADE!!" Sentarou roared from the sight of overturned furniture, papers laying everywhere and the little gifts the bunnies left behind.

"…Go to 11th Division and ask them how they dealt with the…you know…" Ukitake ushered the two out of the division as they went to ask the 11th Division for advice. Something that they thought they never had to do.

* * *

"…A couple dozen penguins, a few walruses, a whole lot of fish including sharks and whales…um…where do you think we'll keep em?" Rina asked wonderingly at the new addition to the 'family'. "More importantly, is this legal?"

"Who knows, besides Seireitei's laws aren't really working at all" Tori pointed out.

"Right and we have the PERFECT place for them" Mika assured Rina.

"Really?" Rina asked half believing them.

"YEP!"

"Let me guess…Hueco Land" Rina guessed.

"How'd you know?!" Tori and Mika asked surprised.

"Cuz that's where you guys put everything…" Rina told them.

"We do?"

"Yup. The dishes, garbage, unwanted junk…"

"Oh yeah…"

So the 3 went to Hueco Mundo—again, this time without anybody knowing at all. How they managed to get all the animals down there was a mystery, but then again, these girls have practically defied the laws of physics.

"Weren't we supposed to call?" Mika asked once the trio had already entered the building.

"Oh yeah…"

"I'll call em now" Tori offered. She pulled out her phone and quickly dialed while they were walking. "Hiya!"

_"Hi…are you guys dropping by or something?" _Lolly asked.

"Yeah"

_"Ok, well we're having an auction so meet in the meeting room"_

"Ok"

"Why are you guys here anyways?" Lolly asked as the 3 (plus the animals) pushed open the meeting room door.

"Well we kinda had a little problem so…"

"…You're dropping something off here aren't ya?"

"How'd you know?"

"Uh…I can see you guys" She answered sounding quite confused as to why both of them were still on the phone when they could easily see each other.

"Wow you must have really good eyes then" Tori told her since she was completely oblivious to the arrancar.

"Uh-huh, well keep heading in the same direction and I'll meet up with you" She directed her.

"Ok!"

It only took **3** mediocre steps for each other to notice each other.

"Hi Lolly, Menoly!" Tori yelled through the phone.

"HI!!" Both girls said back.

"Why are we still on the phone?" Tori asked.

"I dunno" Lolly answered.

"We should really hang up"

"I know"

"…"

"You didn't hang up"

"That's cuz you didn't"

"Ok then, on the count of 3 we both hang up"

"Rina, Mika you guys count!" Tori told them.

"Ok" They sighed. "Ichi, Ni, San"

"…"

"You didn't hang up" Tori informed Lolly.

"I wasn't ready!"

"You guys done yet? I need to call that stupid pizza guy" Nnoitra grumbled.

"Uh…sure" Lolly said.

"Then hand over the phone" The Espada said.

"I can't" She answered.

"And why not?"

"Because if I get off the phone I lose!"

"Lose what?"

"This competition!"

"What competition?"

"There was a competition?" Tori asked.

"What's the prize?!" Mika asked getting interested.

"A knuckle sandwich" Nnoitra answered getting impatient.

"Hey what's the hold up?" Grimmjow asked.

"These two wenches won't hang up!" Nnoitra snapped.

"Guys, hang up" Grimmjow told them.

"They won't ya know, unless you beg or something" Rina told them.

"…"

"PLEASE HANG UP!!! WE WANT OUR PIZZA!!! IT'S DELUXE!!!" Grimmjow and Nnoitra begged, bowing down to them on their knees.

"Hmm…almost convinced me but no" Tori said.

"WHAT?!"

"What are you two idiots doing?" Ulquiorra asked getting involved in the tedious conversation/argument.

"THEY WON'T HANG UP THE FRICKIN PHONE AND WE WANT OUR PIZZA!!!" Both Espada yelled to Ulquiorra.

It took one simple glare to both girls, to hang up.

"Wow" Rina and Mika said in awe.

"A kid could've done it" Ulquiorra said to Nnoitra and Grimmjow who stood still shocked that they didn't think of doing that.

While Nnoitra was on the phone, the other 3 arrancar asked the girls what they wanted. Hearing their story about the humongous pets and all, they weren't ready to accept anymore 'gifts'.

"Sorry but we don't have anymore room" Menoly said.

"…You have a whole desert that never ends!! You guys have plenty of room!" Mika pointed out.

"Yeah, well Seireitei is as big as Hueco Mundo!" Lolly retorted.

"Yeah, but there's a lot of people and buildings." Tori said.

"And we're just too lazy to find a decent place, we decided long ago that Hueco Mundo would be our storage locker" Rina said. "…Did I say storage locker?" She questioned after getting some bewildered and angry looks. "I meant second home?" She asked getting quite scared.

"There's only one way we can end this" Grimmjow said with a serious face. Every single person in the room became silent and crowded around. "We…" He started; everything just seemed to be in slow motion all the sudden. "Play…" The tension rose, everyone wanted to know what was going to happen. Everyone leaned forward to hear what Grimmjow was going to say. "JANKEN!" He declared.

"Whose the best janken player here?" Grimmjow asked the crowd.

"Mika you're best for this" Tori said.

"I am?"

"Yeah you win every time you play poker with the others, that's why we're so rich!" Tori pointed out.

"Well, I dunno, you see…well oh alright!"

"So it's Mika VS. Bawabawa?" Rina said.

"But Bawabawa doesn't have arms!" Tori yelled out.

"Oh…"

"Give us a second…" The arrancar regrouped and rediscussed who would fight.

"Ok"

"So…what now?" Mika asked her two other friends while the arrancar sorted things out.

"I dunno…did we tell anyone we left?" Rina wondered.

* * *

"Where the hell are they?!" Renji yelled at Ichigo.

"How should I know?! Mika's your girlfriend, you should know!!" Ichigo pointed out.

"…Tai—er…Former Taichou!!" Renji called out to Byakuya.

"OI Byakuya!!" Ichigo yelled out to Byakuya.

"What?" He asked.

"In case you haven't noticed the 3 musketeers have left…again!!!" Renji yelled out quite rudely.

"…Word of advice Renji…" Rukia poked him in the shoulder. "…Never ever use that tone to nii-sama" She whispered and quickly left.

"…Er…hehe…um…I meant, do you know where Rina, Mika and Tori are?" He asked nervously.

"No" He sighed. "They probably left to Hueco Mundo again"

"…Or worse, they were kidnapped!" Renji panicked.

"…Who would want to kidnap them?" Hitsugaya asked.

"I dunno but we'll never know if we DON'T FIND THEM!!" Renji yelled out.

"I'm right here you don't need to yell" Hitsugaya told him, paranoid.

"Uh-oh…" Ichigo said quietly.

"Uh-oh?! I don't like uh-oh's!! What's wrong?!" Renji and Hitsugaya asked freaked out in unison.

"…Maybe they were…"

"What?"

"They were…"

"What?"

"HURRY UP!!"

"Taken hostage by…"

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, WHAT?!!" Rukia yelled out to Ichigo.

"WHO'S PETE?!" Ichigo asked infuriated thinking that there was another guy seeing Rukia or something.

"It's just an expression!!" She yelled back at him.

"How do I know if you're lying?" He asked her.

"What?! You don't trust me?!" She asked offended.

"Well considering the fact that you practically stole money from me and your brother what can I expect?!" He asked.

"This is better than TV" Renji whispered over to Hitsugaya and Byakuya.

"Mm-hm" They both agreed.

"How can you not trust your own girlfriend?!" She shrieked.

"You tell me!! I dunno if you're hiding anything from me!! Couples shouldn't keep secrets!!" He told her.

"You're a couple?!" Ukitake and other captains shouted out surprised—obviously they were eavesdropping. But hey, what choice do you have if there are 2 people yelling at each other so loud, that the world can hear them?

"NO!!!" Both yelled.

"Oh…" And with that those captains left as if nothing had happened.

"I can't believe you!! You can't trust me at all!" Rukia said with a mournful look on her face. She turned her back on him and faced down at the floor, her hair clouding her eyes. It suddenly became really quiet.

"Hey, Rukia…I… didn't really mean that honest" Ichigo said after noticing what he had done.

"What's going on?" Renji asked Byakuya.

"This happens all the time" Byakuya told him. "Sooner or later Ichigo's gonna be on his knees apologizing to her."

"OK…Rikichi grab the camcorder!!" Renji ordered Rikichi.

"Hai!" In a flash Rikichi returned with a camcorder ready to record. Renji snatched it away and focused the camcorder onto Rukia and Ichigo.

"Rukia?" Ichigo asked fearing for his life knowing that Byakuya would kill him if he hurt Rukia in any way. A tear brimmed at the side of her eye.

'OHF-CKMYLIFEI'MGONNADIE!!!' Ichigo thought as it seemed as if Rukia was crying.

Her head rose up and she rubbed her eyes as she yawned.

"Man I didn't know it was this late already" She said to herself.

Ichigo nearly fell over in surprise. "OH THANK GOD!!" He thanked the heavens that he would see another day.

"I'm gonna conk out any minute now so I'll leave now" Rukia said and took her leave.

"Rukia wait!" Ichigo called out.

"Yeah?" She looked back slightly confused.

"Well there's something that I wanna say" He said looking down.

"What is it?" She asked walking back to him.

"Well I…"

"Oh man this gets better and better!" Renji laughed as he munched a handful of popcorn.

"Where'd you get that from?" Hitsugaya asked.

"Um…"

"Hand it over!" He ordered.

"YESSIR!!"

While the 3 captains were watching the scene, having popcorn and drinks, recording the whole scene and not to mention lying on lawn chairs (at 10 PM), Ichigo was trying to get his words out to Rukia.

"Ichigo if there isn't anything then I'm gonna leave" Rukia said.

"No stay!" He gripped her shoulders and made sure she wouldn't leave.

"O…k…"

"Rukia, I didn't mean anything when I was yelling at you. I know you wouldn't hide anything from me and I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry." He apologized.

"AWWWWW!!!!" Rangiku, Ise, Yachiru and Momo cooed from the sentimental sight.

"Shush! I'm catching this all on tape!" Renji shushed.

"Ichigo…"

"Rukia…"

Both of their eyes met together seeing the love in each other's eyes they leaned forward and…

"Wow, viewer discretion is advised!!" Rangiku exclaimed.

Ise covered Yachiru's eyes almost immediately. Momo was shocked but happy for the two.

"It can't get anymore intense than that can it?" Hitsugaya asked slightly uncomfortable at Ichigo and Rukia making out in front of them. "…I was wrong" Hitsugaya groaned as he blocked his eyes when Ichigo and Rukia's make-out session grew into a full-heated make out scene.

"Kuchiki-taichou…if I were you I'd stop them…RIGHT NOW!!" Ise told him. "…Kuchiki-taichou?" Ise looked over to where he was but all there was was an empty seat.

"Oh man this will get me big bucks right here!" Renji said catching Byakuya punch Ichigo square in the face.

"Well that's what he gets for kissin' his lil' sis" Gin said.

"Gin?" Rangiku looked over to her side surprised. "What are you doing out?"

"Can't we stretch our legs for a bit?" He asked innocently.

"Enh!! Why are Ruki and Ichi sucking faces?" Yachiru asked squirming out of Ise's grasp. "…Why is Byakushi chasing Ichi?" She asked pointing at Byakuya with Senbonzakura drawn on a man hunt for Ichigo who was using shunpo to escape. Rukia was at the side watching their every movement.

* * *

"…ROCK PAPER SCISSORS!" Mika and Ulquiorra both showed a 'rock' sign.

"How long is this gonna go for?" Rina moaned.

"I dunno, but at this rate we're gonna be here for years!" Tori yelled out.

Both Mika and Ulquiorra were evenly matched as far as luck would go. They had been having draws for the last hour or so.

"I wonder what everyone else is doing…" Tori pondered.

* * *

"Come on Kuchiki-taichou!! You can get this guy!!" Renji cheered on for Byakuya as the manhunt was still on. Renji was catching every single thing on tape.

"Come on Ichigo!!" Rukia shouted out.

"2000 yen on Byakuya that he'll get Ichigo" Rangiku said.

"4000 yen on Ichigo that he'll leave unscathed!" Kyouraku said.

"Come on that's weak." Aizen smirked. "8000 yen on Kuchiki-taichou!" He placed his bet.

"Hey Ichigo has a chance too!" Zaraki said and placed 10, 000 yen up.

"Are you serious? He practically cheated to achieve Bankai!" Renji shouted out.

"GETSUGA TENSHOU!!"

"CHIRE SENBONZAKURA KAGEYOSHI!!"

* * *

"…Can we call quits?" Lolly asked.

"Yeah, can't we just keep the animals as our pets?" Grimmjow asked.

"Grimmjow you're giving up?! Where's your spirit?!" Pesshe asked.

"Come on Ulquiorra!! Win for arrancar!!" Dondochakka yelled out.

"YAYS I GETS NEW PETS!!!" Nel cheered happily.

"NEL!!! NOT YOU TOO!!" Pesshe and Dondochakka cried out in disdain.

"Mika come on, they agreed to take the animals!" Rina said as she and Tori tried to pull Mika away.

"No, wait a second!! I can win, I know it! Just give me a chance!!" She yelled out hoping to go for another match.

"MIKA!!!" Tori and Rina whined.

"Oh alright!" Mika said and left pouting. "THIS ISN'T OVER!!" She yelled threateningly at Ulquiorra.

* * *

"UUUWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Ichigo yelped as he narrowly dodged a blow to his head. "Zaraki you bastard!! You're not involved in this at all!!" He yelled.

"HEY!! 2 against one isn't fair!!" Momo yelled out.

"Well Byakuya and Zaraki are a tag team, Ichigo has to find a partner." Hisagi said.

"OI UKITAKE!! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!!!" Ichigo hollered to him as he swerved to the right.

"Oh why me…" Ukitake sighed. "Nami kotogotoku waga tate to nare, ikazuchi kotogotoku waga yaiba to nare; SOGYO NO KOTOWARI!!"

"WAIT A MINUTE!!!" Mika yelled out.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?!" Tori yelled.

"HEY YOU GUYS ARE BACK!" Renji yelled out.

"WHY ARE WE YELLING?" Rina asked.

"I DUNNO!!"

"SHUT UP!!"

"Seriously what's goin on?" Rina asked.

"Oh Ichigo made out with Rukia in front of us including Byakuya so Byakuya wants to kill him. Then Zaraki got himself involved and joined in. But then it wasn't fair so Ichigo called Ukitake in and now it's 2 on 2." Renji explained.

"Oh alright…" Mika said but she walked into the middle of the fight.

"Um…Mika, we'll hit you ya know" Ichigo said.

"This is a tag team match right?" Tori asked walking to where Mika was.

"Yeah…"

"Then only one person from each team at a time!" Mika told them.

"…This isn't wrestling" Ukitake said.

"Oh I know, I've just always wanted to do this!" Mika explained.

"Really?"

"No!"

"Anyways we'll have Byakuya VS. Ichigo!" Tori declared.

"Battle starts! **DING DING**!!"


	7. Strange Events

"Battle starts!! DING DING!!!"

"Wait we can't fight in here, we better fight outside" Ise said.

"Right"

"OK!! The battle starts now!! DING DING!!"

"WAIT!!" Ichigo yelled out.

"What now?!" Renji asked. "I'm running out of tape as it is!"

"Well get more cuz I have to go to the bathroom!!" He yelled as he ran off.

"Rikichi" Renji called out.

"Yes!" Rikichi immediately ran off at light speed.

"OK he gets 1 minute, if he doesn't then team Byakuya and Zaraki win!" Mika said.

"…So where'd you guys go anyways?" Renji asked Mika.

"Oh you know where we always go!" She replied.

"…Hueco Land by any chance?"

"YUP!!" The trio said happily.

"And what'd you guys do there?" Rukia asked.

"Played janken but Ulquiorra and Mika were matched evenly, that's why we took so long." Rina explained.

"**AND** we had a pizza party!!" Tori added on.

"Uh-huh"

"And there was an auction too but it was lame" Mika said.

"Then we played truth or dare for some reason; Grimmjow and Ulquiorra had to act like best buddies for 5 minutes" Tori laughed.

"But they kinda started to fight and tear each other apart so we had to give them a time out" Rina said.

"…Sounds like you guys have a lot more fun with them than with us!" Hinamori pouted.

"Well yeah, no offense or anything, but all you guys do is work" Mika pointed out.

"True, true…" Rukia muttered.

"Ok I'm back!" Ichigo said.

"Me too!" Rikichi called out.

"Ok the battle starts NOW and if there are any objections I'll pulverize you!!" Mika threatened to the shinigami.

"BATTLE STARTS!! DING DING!!"

"What's with the 'ding ding's?!"

They both circled each other, swords drawn, watching each other intently. Their eyes were deadlocked with each others as if they couldn't pull away. They both stopped still staring at each other, firmed their grip on their zanpakutou's and…

"**TEA TIME**!!!"

"What the--?!" Everyone looked to the left to see…

"Um…who are you?" Rina asked.

"Oh sorry I must be in the wrong place!" The little voice spoke and disappeared.

"…That was weird…"

"No kidding"

"Ok, back to the—where's Byakuya?" Mika scratched her head.

"Huh?" Ichigo gulped nervously and looked up to see a tidal wave of pink come crashing down on him. Luckily for him he dodged it with a few minor cuts.

"YEAH ICHIGO!! KILL HIM!!!" Rukia shouted out.

"Oi! That's your brother you're talking to!" Renji informed her.

"…Oh yeah…"

Swing, block, parry; both men's swords clashed with each other's with burning intention. Once their swords were locked with another, it seemed as if they couldn't move at all. Fearing that they would be harmed if they lost focus, they kept applying pressure onto the blades.

"HEY!! What's taking so long?" Hitsugaya called out.

"YOU TRY TO DEFEAT A GUY WHO WANTS TO KILL YOU IF YOU EVEN BREATHE THE SAME AIR AS HE DOES!!!" Ichigo roared back.

"…IT'S CALLED KARMA!! YOU MUST'VE DONE SOMETHING REALLY BAD!!" Tori yelled out.

"QUICK, WHAT DID YOU DO BAD?!" Renji asked.

"…Now that you mention it…" Ichigo thought. "What the hell are you talking about?!" He yelled suddenly. "I didn't do anything bad when I was a little kid!"

"True, you were a momma's boy so what can we expect?" Rukia asked.

"Well what about your teenage years, after your mom died?" Hinamori asked.

"Uh…I got into lots of fights" Ichigo stated.

"There you go!"

"I NEVER STARTED THEM THOUGH!!"

"OH WELL!! BYAKUYA'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!" Rukia warned.

Ichigo leapt out of the way just in time, he scanned the ground looking for his partner. He jumped down in front of Ukitake and slapped him on the back.

"OW!!" Ukitake groaned. "What was that for?" He asked.

"I tagged you in, so now you're fighting" Ichigo explained.

"…Fine…" Ukitake mumbled and went in to face his former student.

"Phew that was a close one!" Ichigo sighed in relief as he went over to the sidelines.

"That was cheap" Renji commented.

"Shut up! You try fighting him!"

"I already did moron!"

Well Zaraki wasn't the patient type at all, and he was itching to get into the fight. Byakuya got the idea and tagged him in. Immediately he went in full throttle at the fearful captain.

"Can't you guys just apologize?!" Ukitake asked as he dodged Zaraki's lethal swing.

"…NO!!" Ichigo yelled out.

"WHY NOT?! OUR LIVES ARE AT STAKE HERE!!" Ukitake told him as he swung down.

"IT'D HURT HIS PRIDE…AND HIS MINISCULE BRAIN!!" Mika notified Ukitake.

"Guys…"

"COME ON UKITAKE YOU CAN GET HIM!!" Kiyone and Sentarou cheered on for Ukitake.

"Guys--!!"

"WATCH OUT!!" Rangiku shrieked as a huge blow came hurtling at them, they luckily dodged it but the building behind them couldn't be saved.

"GUYS!!!" Ichigo roared.

"What?!" Everyone yelled at him sending him a deathly glare.

"The old geezer's coming!!" He warned.

Suddenly everyone sensed his reiatsu approaching.

"QUICK!! PRETEND YOU'RE ASLEEP!!" Rukia ordered.

"OR DEAD!!" Ichigo added on.

"OR BOTH!!" Rikichi yelled out before falling to the ground.

As anticipated, steps came approaching towards the group.

"Hmm…" Yamamoto surveyed the very awkward sight.

Many shinigami were lying in strange positions looking very uncomfortable. His eyes shifted towards the totaled building by the group. He quickly figured it was Zaraki's doing since he and some of his men were with the sleeping group. He let out an exasperated sigh and headed back to get some rest before dawn arrived. As soon as his presence was long gone, every one sat up and let out a huge sigh of relief.

"I think we should continue this tomorrow" Hitsugaya said rubbing his head.

"I'm with ya" Ukitake agreed.

Both captains got up to open the door only to find that it was locked.

"…"

They struggled to push the door open but to no avail.

"Are we locked out?" Ise asked.

"I sure hope not!" Hitsugaya said as he used his body weight against the door. "Dammit!" He cursed under his breath.

"WE'RE LOCKED OUT!!" Rangiku wailed.

"YEAH!! WE'RE CAMPING IN OUR BACKYARD-OF-SOME-SORT!!!" Tori cheered happily.

"What's so great about that?" Hitsugaya asked. "We're stuck with a bunch of bimbo's" Hitsugaya looked over to the side motioning towards some very 'special' shinigami. "People in rehab" He looked over to Aizen, Gin, and Tousen singing Kumbaya by a lit campfire "And some crazed maniacs" He looked towards Zaraki and Ikkaku.

"Well…what do ya want to do? We're locked out at 1 AM in the morning" Rina asked.

"…"

"Thought so"

"YAY **AWESOME-HAPPY-CAMPING-PARTY 2007**!!!" Mika cheered.

"YEAH!!!" Others cheered.

"Where's the marshmallows?" Tori asked.

"Psh, that's easy!" Rangiku said. She walked over to some bushes, and pulled out 3 bags of marshmallows.

"…How long were those there?" Hitsugaya asked.

"Long enough" She answered.

"And why did you put them by some bushes instead of the kitchen?" Rukia asked.

"Hey I knew this day would come by!" Rangiku said. "You should be appreciating my smart thinking!"

"…Do you happen to have a dozen tents, a lot of sleeping bags, pillows and teddy bears?" Kiyone asked sarcastically.

"Well…" She started, her eyes drifted over to some trees and bushes.

"…Oh my…"

So what happened next was no big surprise. Everyone gathered around the small campfire, which was then transformed into a huge fire that could be considered a bonfire. Everybody started roasting marshmallows and acted like such good friends. But that died out as everyone started to get bored.

"Question" Yachiru piped up. "How do you lock a sliding door?" She asked pointing at the sliding door that would've allowed them entrance into their homes.

"You need to have uberly awesome skills to" Mika answered.

"…You could lock those doors?" Tori asked.

"Looks like it" Ukitake said.

"…But all we used when we were in your division was traps!" She told Ukitake.

"Yeah… what's your point?" He asked.

"What kind of traps?" Hinamori asked.

"It's the kind where it's really, really dark and then you trip on something when you enter then you fall on your face into a tar pit" She answered.

"YOU PUT A TAR PIT IN MY DIVISION?!" Ukitake asked.

"NO!!!" She laughed nervously. "…you fall on your face on a Tarp-It" She reworded.

"What's a Tarp-It?" Rukia asked.

"It's a tarp…with 'it' on the end" She explained.

"Ohh…"

"…"

"We're having a moment of silence" Ise said after the long moment of silence.

"Did someone die?" Rina asked.

"No"

"Yes!" Renji spoke up.

"Who?" Ichigo asked.

"That dead bird in your office" He answered.

"What?" Ichigo asked surprised.

"There was a dead bird in our office?" Hinamori gasped.

"Aww... Tweeter died…" He moped.

"Tweeter?" Rukia asked.

"You said you released him!" Hinamori said.

"I couldn't help it!" He argued back.

As the argument got riled up, a huge gust of wind blew through and blew out the fire. It was really dark since the clouds were covering up the moon and stars.

"AAH!!" Some people shrieked.

"Oh suck it up princess!" Hisagi scolded.

"Eep--!" Rina gasped. "Something just ran by!"

"There's something furry by my arm!" Rukia said terrified.

"Renji do something!!" Mika whined.

"W-Wh-What do you want me to do?" He stammered.

"I dunno!"

"It's circling us!" Yachiru cried out noticing the sound coming back and forth.

"Are we gonna die?" Rikichi asked.

"What ever gave you that idea?" Renji asked.

"Well all these bad things are happening to us now!" He said.

The clouds started to move away giving away a small fraction of light to cascade upon the ground. They could see a small silhouette run away towards the bushes.

"…A leprechaun was terrorizing us?" Ichigo asked.

"It didn't look like a leprechaun" Rukia pointed out.

"Yeah but it was small and it was fast" He said.

"Is that all ye think about us leprechauns laddie?" A voice with an Irish accent asked.

"Huh?" Ichigo looked to his side to see a leprechaun.

"…I thought you guys were myths!" Hinamori gasped.

"Aye that's what all you dimwitted fools think now isn't it?" He asked.

"For a little guy he sure is feisty!" Renji whispered over to Rikichi.

"Oi I wouldn't say that if I were ye eyebrows!" He said to him.

"This is so cool!" Mika whispered over to Tori and Rina who agreed with her.

"…Um…Mr. Leprechaun sir, uh is it true that you guys have a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?" Mika asked.

"Aye" He answered back.

"Do you know of a leprechaun named Lucky?" Tori asked.

"Ya know, the guy on the _Lucky Charms_ cereal boxes" Rina added on.

"Ah yes, a troublesome lad he is" He said after a little bit of thinking.

"What's got into you guys?" Hisagi asked the girls.

"It's not every day you meet a leprechaun so make the best of it!" Rina told him.

Soon the leprechaun was swarmed with questions from the shinigami that were wondering so much about them. But the leprechaun could only stay for a short time and had to leave.

"Well that was one of the things I wanted to do before I die!" Mika exclaimed.

"Interview a leprechaun?" Renji asked.

"Yup"

"What's next?" He asked.

"Interview a werewolf" She answered.

That interview actually ate up a huge chunk of time since the sun was starting to rise.

"Wow, it's morning already!" Ichigo said.

"Hey wait a minute…" Hitsugaya said quietly.

"Huh what was that Shiro-chan?" Hinamori asked. She saw him look at he locked door.

"We were never locked out…" He muttered.

"What?!" Everyone looked at the sliding with a hallway in front of it…

"You mean we could've went inside?!" Zaraki asked.

"Yup"

"Aww man!!"

"Look on the bright side!" Tori said.

Everyone looked at the sun—a stupid thing to do.

"Um…I meant that if we had went inside we wouldn't have met the leprechaun" Tori said to the group that was now pretty much blind.

"Right…"

"Well we better get in" Gin said.

"Right, night everybody!"

"Good night!"


	8. Doctor Doctor

"I don't get it!" Tori whined. "Why do we have to be here?" She asked Toshiro as she Mika and Rina were dragged into Yamamoto's office.

"I can understand captains but us?" Mika asked as she struggled to save her arm from Renji's death grip.

"We'll say it again, slowly" Renji sighed. "We…have…to…tell…him…what…we witnessed!" Renji said slowly.

"…You just said a big word!" Tori exclaimed.

"CONGRATULATIONS!!" Mika congratulated.

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!!!" He yelled out.

"Could you three shut up?" Rina asked.

"Believe me, we don't want to waste our time giving him an eyewitness report" Toshiro said.

As the 6 entered the room their thoughts wandered around eventually they completely spaced out. It only took a walk into a wall for them to snap back to reality.

* * *

"So it was small, furry and ran on 2 legs?" Yamamoto asked once all 6 input their descriptions.

"Yes" They replied.

"Oh my god!" Tori said out loud suddenly.

"What?" Mika asked.

"I figured it out!" She exclaimed.

"You know what it is?" Byakuya asked quite surprised.

"Yeah!!" She answered excitedly.

"Then what is it?" Toshiro asked.

"It's **HELLO KITTY**!!" She exclaimed.

"…"

"**HEY EVERYONE!! HELLO KITTY IS ATTACKING US!!!**" Renji yelled out through an open window to the world.

"Abarai!" Hitsugaya scolded, he was about to approach the red-head but Byakuya got to him first. He slammed the window down on Renji. "Gah!! Can't…frickin…breathe!!" He gasped as he struggled to lift the window pane off of him.

Once he managed to get it off him, he walked briskly back to where the other 5 were and pretended that he hadn't yelled out the Hello Kitty theory.

"I don't think it's Hello Kitty, it was way too small" Rina pointed out.

"An oompaloompa?" Mika asked.

"**HEY EVERYONE--!!**" Renji started as he went back to the window but stopped abruptly, turned on his heel and walked back.

"No…they kinda waddle…" Toshiro said.

"Garden gnome!" Renji said.

"No they aren't furry and they are creepy looking" Byakuya said.

"I know! But people still put them on their lawns as decorations!" Rina said.

"Ahem! Back to the original topic" Yamamoto said. "So at what division was it near?" He asked.

"…11th" They replied.

"Ok then, I'll have Kurotsuchi-taichou to install surveillance cameras around that division then" He concluded and got up from his chair. He walked around it and towards the door.

"…Can we leave too?" Mika asked.

"Sure there's nothi—ah!" Something tiny whizzed right by his feet as he was taking a step. He stumbled and fell back on his back.

"Yamamoto-soutaichou!!" Everyone clambered over to the old man and helped him get up. They rushed him over to 4th Division to make sure he was all right.

Unohana was busy at the moment, Zaraki had once again decided to take his men out training—he went overboard though. So the 7 waited in her office.

"Hey look a skeleton!" Mika pointed to it.

"Wow" Toshiro said uninterested.

"Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes…" Renji playacted with the skeleton motioning to the parts that the song had stated.

"What's with you today Renji?" Rina asked noticing his strange playful behavior.

"Sorry, couldn't help it" He said and left the skeleton alone.

Unohana entered the office still wearing a warm smile.

"What's up doc?" Tori joked.

"Hmm…nothing much" Unohana answered back to her joke. "So what happened exactly?" She asked the group.

"Grandpa fell on his ass!" Mika said pointing to Yamamoto like a 4 year old.

"Ok, how hard was the impact?" She asked.

"Well the offices have those gay-ass hard cement floors without carpeting or anything so it was really hard" Rina explained.

"Yamamoto-soutaichou, how do you feel right now?" She asked.

"Aside the fact that I just fell minutes ago, just fine" He answered. "Although it really hurts to sit and sometimes standing" He added on.

"Right…well we'll have to take an X-ray of your tailbone just to be on the safe side" She said.

"You're gonna X-ray his butt?" Renji asked. "Ew!"

"Is that legal?" Tori asked.

"Yes it is, and we are, this way if you will" She motioned the old man out of the office. Once the 2 left, everybody couldn't help but snicker.

* * *

"He broke his butt?" Ichigo asked surprised.

"Well no, not exactly" Renji said. "He just fell and injured his ass" Renji explained.

"Well what's the big deal? He just fell, can't be that serious" Ichigo said as he continued with his paperwork.

"Well there's his age to consider too" Renji said.

"Well taichou wouldn't really know since he hasn't lived for a full century" Hinamori pointed out.

"Well at least I'm not an old fart like you guys" He smirked.

"Excuse me?" Rukia asked not looking impressed.

"I wasn't talking about you!!" Ichigo quickly said fearing that Rukia would've gotten Byakuya to hunt him down…again.

"Hey you know how they say that you should respect and listen to your elders?" Renji asked.

"Yeah, what of it?" Ichigo asked looking at him.

"Yachiru would be technically older than you so you'd have to listen to her!" Renji said nearly laughing as he left the division.

"It's true taichou" Hinamori said as Ichigo sulked in a corner.

* * *

"So what did the X-rays say?" Tori asked Rina as she entered her division.

"His tailbone is broken" She answered as she went over to the couches where Tori and Rangiku were.

"HA! I knew it!" Tori laughed.

"That's mean Tori" Hitsugaya told her.

"What?" She asked innocently. "It's not like someone breaks their butt everyday!" She pointed out.

"Wait, the tailbone is the butt bone?" Rangiku asked.

"Yeah" Rina replied.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!" Rangiku burst out into an uncontrollable laughing fit.

"And you say _I'm_ mean?" Tori asked her captain.

"Well he has to have an escort with him and he has to sit on a donut" Rina added on.

"Donut? But those are good!! They're so sugary!" Tori said.

"Not that kind of donut, it's kind of like an inner tube—like a cushion of some sort" Rina explained.

"Oh…the one that hisses every time you sit on it?" Tori asked.

"Yep"

"So who's in charge now?" Toshiro asked. "I doubt he'd be able to keep things in order with his condition"

"Well…" Rina said quietly and looked away.

"What? Who is it?" Tori asked.

"Remember how we always wanted authority?" Rina asked with a slight smirk.

"WE'RE IN CHARGE?!" Tori asked excitedly.

"YEA-NO" Rina burst Tori's bubble of hope.

"What? Don't do that!! You had my hopes raised up high!" She whined.

"Sorry about that"

"So who is it?" Toshiro asked once again.

"Um…ask my taichou!" Rina said before shunpo-ing off.

"I hate it when she does that…" Hitsugaya grumbled.

* * *

"WHAT?!" Ichigo yelled out so the world could hear. "ARE YOU SERIOUS?! **SHE'S** IN CHARGE?!" Ichigo asked in disbelief.

"Yup, about time a female took charge anyways" Hinamori said with a smile.

"Ohh…I'm never gonna hear the end of this…" He groaned.

* * *

"OK, while I'm in charge I want these things to take place!" A feminine voice said.

"Hai"

"More tea parties, less fighting, no work, and a pony ride in every division!" She yelled out.

"Yes ma'am"

* * *

"I can't believe this is happening" Yamamoto groaned.

"Don't worry, it'll be like a wonderful dream once you're back in charge" Mika said.

"Are you saying that it sucks when I'm in charge?" He questioned.

"N-No! Of course not!" Mika said.

"What are you talking about of course it does!" Renji said once he snapped out of his dazed out state.

"Hey!" Mika whacked him in the arm.

"Oh I mean NO! You do a **wonderful** job!" He said quickly.

"ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzz…" Yamamoto was sound asleep.

"Good he's asleep, let's make a run for it!" Renji whispered, he and Mika crept towards the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" One of the guards asked.

"Out?" Renji asked.

"Not while I'm here" He said.

"Are you crazy?!" Mika asked.

"Mika what are you doing?" Renji asked silently.

"Just follow my lead!" She snapped back.

"I left the oven on! Do you want Seireitei to burn down because of a grease fire?!" She asked.

"No of course not but I'm sure—"

"Dogs have a tendency to run away from fires and Rina would kill me if Hiroshi left!" Mika went on. "It's the same with meese!! And chimeras, and bats, and piggies, and duckies…"

"I'm sorry but you two agreed to this!" He told them.

"Well look here buddy!" Renji said and took his chance. "I'm a captain, that means that I have more power than you so back off!" He said.

"Well I'm sorry Abarai-_taichou_ but orders are orders!"

"Are you questioning my authority?!" He asked, now looking very important and superior.

"Well no but—"

"Then move it!" He ordered.

"Y-Yes sir" The guard backed off and let the two leave.

"Nice one Renji!" Mika complimented him.

"I know, I had to pull these a lot in the academy" He replied. "And don't you dare think about hitting on Mika!! She's mine!!" Renji threatened towards the guard.

"Y-Yes sir!" The guard saluted.

"I'm watching you!!" He put two fingers by his eyes and pointed them towards the guard.

"Yes!" The guard squeaked.

"You didn't have to do that" Mika said.

"Couldn't hurt!" Renji said.

"Yeah well, I can deal with any guys" She rolled her eyes.

"Really?" He asked. "Well what'd happen if a guy took ya like this?" Renji asked and pulled Mika back towards his chest in a tight grip.

"Oh that's easy!" She answered. "HA!" She clenched her fists tight and thrust her elbows back into Renji's ribs.

"OW!" He yelped.

She then raised her right arm fast and slammed her fist into Renji's face. Renji lost his grip, Mika took her chance, whipped around swinging her leg down onto Renji onto the ground.

"Owwww…." He moaned in pain.

"Like that!" Mika said.

"Frick that hurts!!" Renji moaned in pain.

"…Renji, what're you doing on the ground?" Mika asked confused.

* * *

"Kusajishi's in charge?" Byakuya questioned. "How did that happen?" He asked his lieutenant.

"We had a vote" Rina replied.

"What do you mean by _we_?" He asked. "I don't remember taking part in the vote"

"Duh! It was only between fukutaichou's" Rina answered.

"And why was that?" He asked.

"Well cuz captain's are so bossy and no fun at all, we voted on Yachiru cuz she knows what fun is" Rina replied.

"Captains are no fun at all? What about that 'Happy-Camping-Party 2007'?" Byakuya asked.

"First it's **Awesome**-Happy-Camping-Party 2007, you forgot awesome and that's very important. Second, it was me Mika and Tori who started it all" Rina reminded him.

"…whatever…" He shrugged.

"INCOMING----!!!" Rikichi shouted, the next thing the two knew a humongous horsey ride came flying into the office narrowly missing their heads, however it landed on Byakuya's foot.

"RIKICHI!!!"

* * *

"ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU YACHIRU-SAMA!!!" Tori yelled out happily while she was enjoying her pony ride.

"Tori, you don't need to yell!" Hitsugaya told her.

"Aww…it stopped…Shiro-chan can you press the start button for me?" She asked once the horsey ride stopped.

"Fine" He sighed and pressed it. Unfortunately for him, the button was in front of the pony so the ride started rocking back and forth—rocking into his head which sent him to the ground.

"Oops!"

"Stupid ride…" He muttered.

* * *

"Ok, well you should be okay by now, but take it easy for a few weeks" Unohana concluded the results to Yamamoto.

"Thank goodness, I'm not sure how Seireitei would fare from Kusajishi's new orders" He sighed in relief.

"Well the no work rule is something many are very happy about" Unohana pointed out.

"True, but the shinigami do get day off's" He reminded her.

"What happened?!" Unohana gasped as she saw 3 limping, injured captains accompanied by Tori, Mika and Rina.

"Horsey rides" Hitsugaya and Byakuya muttered.

"Girl power" Renji muttered.

"I think I should get going…" Yamamoto said quietly and shunpoed off.

"Renji; 3 broken ribs, twisted ankle, both legs broken... overall you should be fine" Unohana told him once he was X-rayed and checked over. "Byakuya; Broken foot—you're gonna have to need a crutch, Toshiro; Just a bruise, nothing too serious"

"I told you it was broken" Byakuya hissed to Rina.

"Hey it could've been a major bruise, or internal bleeding, that's not so bad!" Rina retorted.

"Are you sure he's okay? I swear that he suffered damage to his head!! After all he's still glaring at the pony ride!" Tori said out loud.

"No he's fine, Tori-chan" Unohana repeated.

"I guess I don't know my own strength…hehe…" Mika laughed nervously as Renji was in a wheelchair. "Don't worry you're special now!!"

"**SPECIAL WITH A CAPITAL 'R'!!!!!!**" Tori laughed.

"Shut up!" Renji pouted.

"It's not like you can really do anything about it" Rina pointed out.

"Oh yeah? Well I'm gonna prove you wro-oooooooooooonnnnnnnnnngggggg!!!!" Renji had gotten up from his wheelchair and tried to take a step but of course he was not in a good condition and he fell over in a heap.

"…Is he dead?" Mika asked and poked him with a stick.

"**HE NEEDS CPR!!!**" Rikichi shouted out and burst through the doors. "I'll do it!!" Rikichi volunteered, flipped Renji over and was ready.

"I knew that Rikichi had this massive obsession about Renji but I never knew this day would come!" Hitsugaya said.

"WTF?! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!" Renji yelled and pushed Rikichi away before he could start.

"Rikichi, I think you should leave…" Rina warned him.

"Why?" He asked rubbing his head.

"Well…" Rina's eyes shifted over to the fuming Byakuya.

"Oh…" With that, Rikichi ran out of the division and got back to whatever work he was supposed to do.

"Can someone help me up?" Renji mumbled as he laid on his back staring at the fluorescent lights.  
"ATTENTION ATTENTION ALL TAICHOU, FUKU-TAICHOU, AND OTHER SHINIGAMI REPORT TO 12TH DIVISION!!" The alarm blared as the warning was sent out.

"What happened now?"

"Anyone?" Renji asked again.

"NOT NOW!!!" Everyone barked out and left in a hurry.

"Come on buddy, I know you can help me out Fred." Renji spoke to an innocent ladybug. "No? Aww COME ON!!!"


	9. Revealed

"What's going on?" Rangiku asked as she staggered over to 12th Division where a group of shinigami was huddled around a broom closet.

"Matsumoto, were you drinking again?" Hitsugaya asked.

"EEeeheeehehehe…" She laughed maniacally and uncontrollably.

"I'll take that as a yes" He sighed from her psycho behavior.

"It's in here!" Mayuri screeched and pointed at the broom closet.

"So it likes cleaning products?" Hisagi asked.

Mayuri ignored the comment and went on. "Like the descriptions said, it was small and furry also very fast"

"Uh huh"

Whatever was inside the closet started banging against the door. The door handle jiggled violently, violent scratching noises and thumping could be heard inside it. Also its little screech could be heard through the door if you listened hard enough.

"I want my mommy!!!" Rangiku squealed through her drunkenness.

"Ignore her" Hitsugaya sighed.

"FINALLY!!" Renji breathed heavily as he had dragged his whole body towards where everyone else was.

"Where's your wheelchair?" Mika asked.

"Oh Fred has it" He replied as Mika helped him on his feet.

"Who's Fred?" Mika asked.

"My new best friend, unlike you people he HELPED me" He emphasized the word 'helped' since everyone had just ditched him. "So what's going on here?" He asked the group.

"Well we caught the little culprit and it's trying to get out" Hisagi explained; Renji's face turned white.

"What's wrong?" Mika asked him.

"I just remembered something…"

"What?"

"Little things grow into really big things" He said.

"Uh wha?" Everyone was confused at his words.

"Don't you remember in _Clifford the Big Red Dog_?" He asked.

"…You watch Clifford?" Hitsugaya asked in disbelief.

"Hey I was babysitting Nariko, I had no choice!! She loves Clifford, Dora, Zoboomafoo, Teletubbies, Barney and worst of all…" He paused. "…"

"Will you get on with it?!" Ukitake asked.

"The Doodlebops" He said slowly, the words were just pure evil.

"You just had to bring it up" Rina said as she remembered just watching 2 seconds of it…and it was just the opening song.

"Yeah well in one episode that Emily girl she goes to get a puppy from this old guy and she sees Clifford and he's a runt. And then one night he grows because people would prefer him to be big or something and the next thing they know, he's frickin huge!!!" Renji summarized the whole episode swiftly.

"Wow" Everyone was stunned that he had remembered that specific episode.

"What? It's true! Just warning you guys that it could grow into a huge monster!" He pointed out. "Little things like you Hitsugaya-taichou do grow big!!"

Hitsugaya glared at Renji for the unnecessary comment.

"Ok well "Renji the Big Red Doofus" will you take the pleasure of opening up the door?" Ukitake asked.

"Sure I wou—" The loud banging noises seemed more and more violent by the second.

"…Ichigo will do it!" Renji yelled out.

"Oh not this again!!" Rukia groaned.

"OH NO I'M NOT!!! RUKIA!!" Ichigo called out.

"Sure, I'm not a wuss like you guys" She said and approached the door.

"Wait!" Renji and Ichigo yelled out in unison.

"What?" Rukia asked impatiently.

"You were supposed to say NO" Ichigo started.

"And volunteer someone else!" Renji concluded.

"Whatever" She rolled her eyes and turned the knob.

"Hey where's your bathroom?" A masculine voice asked out of the blue.

Everyone's eyes shifted to the source of the voice.

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS HERE?!" Ichigo yelled at the arrancar.

"I was just visiting!! You guys visit us all the time!" Grimmjow argued back.

"Can someone explain why 3 Espada are here?" Ukitake asked.

"WE ARE VI-SI-TING" Grimmjow explained.

"Why?" Tori asked.

"Cuz we felt like it" Grimmjow answered.

"And some big shot destroyed our HQ" Nnoitra said.

"Wasn't my fault!!" Grimmjow yelled. "Ulquiorra here said it was time to redecorate!"

"I said it clearly, but I guess I'll have to say it again for your peanut sized brain. Our HQ was a mess and someone had to clean it up!" Ulquiorra said.

"…Is that what you said?"

"Yes"

"Oh…" Grimmjow stepped back a good distance from Ulquiorra before continuing. "Yeah like I was saying, where's your bathroom?" He asked the shinigami.

"2nd door on the right" Everyone told him.

"Why in the world are you guys huddled around a broom closet?" Ulquiorra then asked.

"To see what was terrorizing us and NO IT WASN'T YOU GUYS!! YOU SUCKED AT THAT BIG TIME!!!" Ichigo yelled out.

"Do you want me to carve that hole into you again?" Ulquiorra asked in a deathly tone.

"Ehehehe…I'll shut up now…" He said meekly and backed out.

"AHEM!" Rukia cleared her throat loud enough so that the attention was back on the closet. She opened the door just slightly and whatever was inside started pounding the door open.

"ARMS AT READY!!" Renji yelled out. Random shinigami with butterfly nets cast them out ready to take down what was in the closet.

* * *

"Ara?" Nariko walked back and forth through the divisions wondering where everyone else was. She wasn't alone however; Mika's pet moose were with her too. A hell butterfly caught her attention she immediately ran after it. The moose trailed behind her as they hadn't had anything else to do.

* * *

"GET IT!!!" The captains roared at all the shinigami. The shinigami that had the butterfly nets went after a few hell butterflies instead of the little pest.

"IT'S SO FAST THOUGH!!" Rangiku wailed finally sobering off.

The shinigami turned roughly at the corner nearly ramming into the wall and continued their pursuit. They ran as fast as they could until they saw 2 large dark figures with a large something protruding out of their heads.

"Mika what are your moose doing here?" Hinamori asked as they all slid to a halt.

"I dunno hey it's Nariko!" Mika pointed out.

Nariko had something small and furry in her grasp.

"Is that what we were chasing after?" Everyone peered down in shock.

"A _Furby_?" Everyone asked stunned that a Furby had 'terrorized' them.

"But Furby's aren't fast at all!" Tori said.

"It had a jet pack" Hisagi said suddenly.

"…We don't have a jet pack" Rina told him.

"Well 12th Division does weird things so a jet pack might've been in there" Ikkaku backed Hisagi up.

"True but where'd this _Furby _come from?" Rukia asked.

* * *

"I'm sure it was here somewhere!!"

"Maybe Isshin took it"

"I doubt it; his daughters don't play with things like this anymore!!"

"Ryuuken?"

"I highly doubt that"

"Man this is a problem, it was in the 'Defective Items' box too!"

"Kisuke-san, Isshin-san is back" Ururu told him.

"Ah! Isshin how was it?" Urahara asked all happy and optimistic.

"You owe me! Its killer trying to steal things from Seireitei so you can sell them here" Isshin said as he set down some boxes. "But for some reason I didn't run into anybody. Well except for this toddler with a _Furby _and two moose"

"Wait you saw a _Furby _there?" Urahara asked worried.

"Yeah what of it?" Isshin asked confused.

"Minna-san, how bout we completely forget what we lost and pretend nothing ever happened okay?" He asked Tessai, Ururu, Jinta, Ririn, Claude, and Nova.

"Um…OK" They shrugged.

* * *

"What are we supposed to do with it now?" Kiyone asked.

"…Put it up on e-Bay" Ichigo suggested.

"I'm with him" Rukia said.


	10. Little Mishap

"Come on Ise!" Rangiku encouraged her. "It's easy! There's nothing wrong with online dating!"

"Rangiku," Ise started giving her a stern look. "Do you know how stupid that is?" She asked.

"Not very now come on" Rangiku dragged Ise to the computer.

"But,"

"No buts and here we go!"

"Well, I guess it couldn't hurt..." Ise thought in her mind.

"Rangiku what the hell are you doing?" Soifon asked as she entered the room.

"Just hooking up Ise with some stud muffin" Rangiku answered as she helped Ise out.

"O...K...you go do that" Soifon said and left the two.

"Ok choose a screen name" Rangiku said.

---

"...Internet dating?" Ukitake exclaimed from his bed when his friend mentioned it. "Are you serious Shunsui?" He asked in shock.

"Well why not?" He shrugged.

"You might end up with some 40 year old pot bellied man who goes to clubs every night!" Ukitake warned him.

"I sure hope not" Shunsui said. "Hmm...a screen name..." He went into deep thought for a moment. "The Incredible Mister K" He said after 5 minutes.

"All that time and that's all you could think of?" Ukitake asked.

"Well what else could I use?"

Ukitake heaved a long exasperated sigh before continuing. "Even if I told you what to use, you'd probably ignore me and..."

"HELLO--!!" Kyouraku completely ignored his friends words as he went into a chatroom to start talking to people.

---

"Silentdream?" Ise read out what Rangiku had typed in as a screen name.

"Yup! Like it?" Rangiku asked excitedly.

"Err...sure but I'm not so sure about this whole idea though..." She mumbled.

"Hey look! Somebody is already talking to ya!" Rangiku exclaimed.

"Who?" Hinamori asked as she and other females crowded around the computer.

"The Incredible Mister K" They read out.

"...Sounds like someone that has love issues" Tori commented.

"Yeah I know, and it sure sounds like he's totally self-absorbed too" Mika added on.

"Man I feel sorry for the people that work with him!" Ise said out loud.

---

"Silentdream?" Ukitake asked. "I can't believe you're actually going through with this..." Ukitake groaned as he shifted to his side to a more comfortable position.

"Well she's replying" Kyouraku said as he continued to type out stuff.

"How do you know for sure this person's a she?" Ukitake asked curiously.

"I know these things and if some poor sap of a guy ever used that kind of screen name, he'd probably be a crossdresser or something" Kyouraku told him.

"Right...well you're on your own" Ukitake said and fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

"What should I say?" Ise asked frantically as the person chatted back to her.

"Say that you have to deal with a flirtatious boss every single day" Rangiku said.

"Ok..." Ise typed it in as quickly as she could.

---

"Wow she has to deal with a complete flirt everyday!" Kyouraku exclaimed feeling sorry for her. "Don't let that jerk take charge of you! Besides don't you think it's time for that old flirt to find a girl?" He typed in.

---

"Wow he really cares!" Rukia exclaimed.

"You don't find many guys like that lately" Hinamori said.

"No kidding" Rangiku muttered.

"Wow, I haven't met any guys that actually do care for others lately." Ise typed in as she was awestruck by whoever she was talking to.

"I've hit the jackpot!!!" Kyouraku shouted out happily.

"Ano, Kyouraku-taichou?" Kiyone asked as she peered into the room. "Could you be more quiet so taichou can get his rest?" She asked.

"Sure whatever..." He mumbled as he continued typing.

---

"Ise you sure are one lucky girl!" Rangiku said as she and Ise were the only ones left in the room.

"You really think so?" Ise asked.

"Well yeah! You meet this totally caring guy and he sure sounds like some cutie despite his name" Rangiku said.

"Y'know, I have to agree with you. If only there were more guys like him around...it would definitely make our lives easier" Ise sighed.

* * *

"Online dating?" Rina exclaimed as Mika and Tori told her about Ise's milestone.

"Yup, it sure sounded stupid and dangerous at first but Ise has definitely met someone that's worth meeting" Tori said.

"Even though his name is 'The Incredible Mister K'" Mika added on.

* * *

A week passed by since Ise and Kyouraku had started chatting on the net, however they still had no clue as to who each other was. Both people were not quite ready to reveal who they really were so their connection got stronger and stronger by the hour.

"Ohayo gozaimasu taichou" Ise said as she walked into the office one morning.

"Ohayo" Kyouraku returned tiredly. He took a large sip of sake and burped before starting his day.

"Hey Uki-kun" Mika waved as she passed her former captain in the hallways.

"Hey Mika, how are you doing with Abarai-kun as your captain now?" He asked.

"Oh I'm doing fine! I get to torture Renji everyday!" Mika exclaimed cheerfully.

"...You _torture_ him?!" Ukitake asked with alarm.

"NO!!! Come on! Did you really think I would?" Mika laughed nervously.

"After dealing with you for 5 years, I'd have to say yes" He said.

"Ok fine I do torture him but in a friendly way! Plus he doesn't really mind that much at all" Mika explained. "HI REN-REN!!!" Mika waved to Renji as he passed by...with a broken arm. He looked over and gave a little wave and proceeded to his division. "See! He doesn't mind!!"

"Whatever you say..." Ukitake sighed. "I have to see Kyouraku-san, he's gone crazy now that he's started internet dating. He met some person named 'Silentdream'" He said.

"Wait, 'Silentdream'?" Mika asked surprised.

"Yeah, they've been talking for a long time now" Ukitake said.

"Do you happen to know someone named 'The Incredible Mister K'?" Mika asked.

"Yeah I do, that's Kyouraku-san" Ukitake said.

Mika's jaw dropped down in surprise, she started laughing so hard right after though. "What's so funny?" Ukitake asked confused.

"S-Silentdream is...Ise-san!" Mika said still laughing.

"Oh my god, Mika don't tell anybody this!!" Ukitake said.

"Only if you don't!" Mika said.

"DEAL!" They both shook hands and went off into some odd direction keeping their little secret between them.

* * *

(**Bold** is for Kyouraku, _Italic_s for Ise; no style means talking to themselves)

_"You know, we've been talking to each other for a long time now"_

**"Yup that's true"**

_"Wanna tell each other our real names?"_

**"...Sure"**

_"Ok, you go first"_

**"Well I work in 8th Division..."**

"8th Division huh? He's someone I work with?" Ise questioned herself as she continued reading.

**"...and my name is Kyouraku Shunsui, captain of 8th Division"**

Ise's jaw dropped as she read the name figuring out that she and her own captain had been practically 'going out' for the past week. She looked around her wondering if anyone else was in the room. Luckily for her there wasn't she took a sip of water before typing in. Meanwhile while the news was sinking into Ise, Kyouraku was wondering why this 'Silentdream' wasn't responding.

_"I work in 8th Division too..."_

She finally responded but took a break in between. Kyouraku was eager to know who it was knowing that it was someone in his very own division. He began to wonder why he barely interacted with the women in his division except for Ise.

_"and my name is..."_

"Man she likes to make people wait in suspense!" Kyouraku said as he waited for the name.

"Oh boy..." Ise muttered to herself as she was going to say something that she might or might not regret.

_"Kevin"_

Immediately both shinigami shut down their computers trying to shove the painful memory out. Well Ise for one did know who she was talking to so it wasn't so bad for her. But as for Kyouraku, he was grimacing over the fact that he thought he was talking to a guy supposedly named Kevin. The thought hurt his mind so much he had completely forgotten that there was nobody named Kevin in his division, not even in Soul Society at all!

"...Ohayo gozaimasu...taichou" Ise said nervously as she met her captain in the morning.

"Ohayo" He replied moping.

"..."

The two sat in silence before someone decided to speak up.

"Nanao-chan," Kyouraku started still having a defeated look on his face. "We don't have anyone named Kevin in our division do we?" He asked.

"...No"

"...Oh..."


	11. Friendly Chat

This is something random to fill in the gap between part 3 and 4; I know I'm stalling but I've always wondered what this would be like! Well if u don't like the usernames deal with it, and try to guess who's who!

NOTE: If for some reason a person's name does not show up (cuz FF is being stupid) message me and I'll try to fix it

* * *

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

hey

**Red-Heads Rule says**:

whaddya want?

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

what the hells wrong with you? i was just saying hi

**Red-Heads Rule says**:

wrong u said hey not hi

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

w/e

**Red-Heads Rule says**:

so whaddya want?

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

do u kno wat rukia likes?

**Red-Heads Rule says**:

y u askin me?

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

u kno her longer than me

**Red-Heads Rule says**:

ur point?

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

wat does she like goddammit?!

**Red-Heads Rule says**:

bunnies duh idiot!

_**--------------------------bunnyluv4ever ;;**__ was added to this conversation**---------------------------**_

**Red-Heads Rule says**:

hey ruki

**bunnyluv4ever ;; says:**

hey

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

…hi…

**bunnyluv4ever ;; says:**

uh…wats going on?

**Red-Heads Rule says**:

nuthin

_**---------------------Red-Heads Rule **__has left this conversation**-------------------**_

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

srry g2g bye

**

* * *

**

**pinkflower says:**

hiya shiro-chan!

**.icedragon. says:**

hi Hinamori and its Hitsugaya-TAICHOU to you!!

**- Tori ;; says:**

chill snowflake!

**pinkflower says:**

ya wat tori said!

******.icedragon. **says:

…

**- Tori ;; says:**

sup?

**pinkflower says:**

n2m taichou keeps askin me how 2 impress ruki though

**- Tori ;; says:**

y?

**pinkflower says:**

cuz he's pathetic

**- Tori ;; says:**

all taichou's r leik dat

******.icedragon. **says:

I'm still here!!!

**pinkflower says:**

o ya…

**- Tori ;; says:**

whoopsie

_**-------------------//drunkenchick//**__ was added to this conversation**------------------**_

**//drunkenchick// says:**

yo!

******.icedragon. **says:

im leavin

**- Tori ;; says:**

w8!!!!!!

******.icedragon. **says:

wat?

**- Tori ;; says:**

i 4get

******.icedragon. **says:

w/e bye

**pinkflower says:**

l8er

**//drunkenchick// says:**

c ya

_-------------------------------**.icedragon. **has left this conversation**---------------------**_

**//drunkenchick// says:**

so wat now?

**pinkflower says:**

how bout we invite everyone online into this conversation?

**- Tori ;; says:**

kk :D

_**.icedragon. **was added to this conversation_

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**- Tori ;; says:**

HI EVERYONE!!!

**.:Rina:. says:**

y do I get the feelin that u did somethin stupid?

**- Tori ;; says:**

awww…come on!!

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

#iluvmykids:)…dad?

**#iluvmykids:)**** says:**

how'd ya kno?!

**#iluvmykids****:) says:**

i taught u well :')

**Red-Heads Rule says**:

rikichi change ur damned screen name!!!

**-renji4ever- says:**

y :'(

**..-Mika-.. says:**

wow

**candeh-man says:**

no kiddin

**candeh-man says:**

i knew this day would come XP

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**freakyscientist says:**

pi$$ off!!!!!

_**freakyscientist**__ has left this conversation_

**banned4life says:**

wats his problem?

**toughEnuf says:**

hes alwayz liek dat

**Red-Heads Rule says**:

RIKICHI!! I SWEAR IF U DONT CHANGE UR NAME NOW IM GONNA COME OVUR THERE AND MAKE SURE U WERENT BORN!!!

**-renji4ever- says:**

awww… :'(

**-renji4ever- says:**

fine…

**Red-Heads Rule says**:

finally!

**bunnyluv4ever ;; says:**

Ichigo wat did u want to say to me?

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

….who told u dat?!

**bunnyluv4ever ;; says:**

I have friends dat tell me everythin

**iluvsmurfs says:**

i wanna kno!!!

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

isnt it past ur bedtime?

**iluvsmurfs says:**

ken-chan lets me stay up as long as i want 2 XD

**//drunkenchick// says:**

wow really?

**iluvsmurfs says:**

yup :P

**bunnyluv4ever ;; says:**

well?

**bunnyluv4ever ;; says:**

so what is it ichi????????????????????

**//drunkenchick// says:**

tellustellustellus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!wat is it???????????????????????????????????

**Red-Heads Rule says**:

well???????????????????????????????????????????????????????

**banned4life says:**

LALALALALALALALALALALALALLALALALALALALALALLALALALLAALLALLALLALLAALALALALALA~

**iluvsmurfs says:**

ara??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

**iluvsmurfs says:**

i put more than u guys :p

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

im not gonna say anythin

**bunnyluv4ever ;; says:**

nii-sama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**--byakuya-- says:**

dont get me involved

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

YES!! HE WONT KILL ME THEN!!

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

i guess ill tell u then

**pinkflower says:**

;D yay!!

**Red-Heads Rule says**:

hes gonna admit somethin to u rukia :X i said nuthin!

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

shut up!

-------------flashgoddess has just signed in-------------

_**flashgoddess**__ was added to this conversation_

**kittykatluver says:**

hi yoruichi-sama

**flashgoddess says:**

hi

**flashgoddess says:**

wats goin on?

**banned4life says:**

strawberry boy is gonna admit something to rukia chan :3

**single. says:**

so wat is it?

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

rukia

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

will

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

u

**--byakuya-- says:**

kk im gettin involved now

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

o $hit...

**.:Rina:. says:**

theres kids here!!!!!

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

well sorry!!

**iluvsmurfs says:**

ichi said a bad word!!

**iluvsmurfs says:**

is he gonna get a spanky??

**kitsune. says:**

yup/\w/\

**#iluvmykids:)**** says:**

(gasps) wat did i do wrong:'(

**#iluvmykids:)**** says:**

4give me masaki!!

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

would u shut up?!

**- Tori ;; says:**

continue ichi!!!!11111oneoneone

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

srry i not goin 2

**//drunkenchick// says:**

pweez

**iluvsmurfs says:**

pweezie ichi!!

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

u guyz scare me

**..-Mika-.. says:**

dats what we do best!!! XD

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

kk fine!!!

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

i'll tell her in front of u guyz

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

happy now?

**((69)) says:**

sure w/e get on with it

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

rina u have to help with this though

**.:Rina:. says:**

y?

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

cuz i said so

**.:Rina:. says:**

T--T typical u

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

rukia

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

will

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

u

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

...i cant do this!!!

**bunnyluv4ever ;; says:**

wat?! y not?

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

i dunno

**((69)) says:**

he's wimping out

**pinkflower says:**

well i g2g now 2 tired to stay up

**- Tori ;; says:**

bye

**.:Rina:. says:**

bye

**..-Mika-.. says:**

cya

_**pinkflower**__ has left this conversation_

**- Tori ;; says:**

well i g2g 2 :(

**..-Mika-.. says:**

same

**((69)) says:**

im out

**.:Rina:. says:**

with ya guys

**iluvsmurfs says:**

same here :(

**//drunkenchick// says:**

me 2 ran out of sake

**#iluvmykids:)**** says:**

same yuzu and karin thinks its weird 4 me to be on

**kitsune. says:**

well i hafta go, ai-ai and toto get jealous every time im on the comp

**banned4life says:**

time 4 me to leave

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**bunnyluv4ever ;; says:**

srry guys but im gonna have to leave now

**bunnyluv4ever ;; says:**

my head keeps banging into the wall

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

no w8!!!!

**bunnyluv4ever ;; says:**

srry

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

rukia will u marry me?!

**bunnyluv4ever ;; says:**

... _--(OMG!!)_

**Red-Heads Rule says**:

took u long enough

**flashgoddess says:**

i'll leave u guys alone

_**flashgoddess **has left this conversation_

**--byakuya-- says:**

thats it?

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

waddya mean thats it?

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

i was scared 4 life from u and ruki

**--byakuya-- says:**

oh great now she's cryin tears of joy

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

how do u kno?

**--byakuya--says:**

i can hear her

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

o

**bunnyluv4ever ;; says:**

yes and good night

_**bunnyluv4ever ;;**__ has left this conversation_

**Red-Heads Rule says**:

congrats ichi

**Red-Heads Rule says**:

ur byakuya's brother in law now

**-renji4ever- says:**

lol

**Red-Heads Rule says**:

rikichi!!! u said that u would cahnge the damned anem!! _---(he was so mad he couldn't type properly)_

**-renji4ever- says:**

bye/\-/\

_**-renji4ever-**__ has left this conversation_

**Red-Heads Rule says**:

dammit

**candeh-man says:**

lmao

**Red-Heads Rule says**:

shut up u

**candeh-man says:**

nya

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**Red-Heads Rule says:**

latta man

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

maybe i should leave 2

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

lalala...wait a minute...

**Strawberry Reaper says:**

y the hell am i talkin to myself?

**_--byakuya--__ has just logged in_**

**--byakuya-- says:**

btw

**--byakuya-- says:**

im gonna kill u

**--byakuya-- says:**

bye

**_--byakuya-- has logged off_**


	12. Ditty For Daddy

"I still can't believe she said yes!" Byakuya grumbled with his face covered with his hands.

"There's nothing wrong with it at all!" Rina protested. "Besides don't you think that Rukia has a say in what she wants?"

"I do want Rukia to have her freedom it's just that I'm afraid that Kurosaki might do a really crappy job"

"It's Ichigo we're talking about, he's sure to screw up" Rina pointed out.

Byakuya let out a disgruntled groan from Rina's comment. Suddenly the door slammed open with Renji, Rukia and Ichigo at the door. They raced to Byakuya's desk and slammed their hands down on it with a very serious look of determination on their faces.

"What do you want?" Byakuya asked as his eyes met with the other threes'.

Ichigo's and Rukia's faces dropped down to a neutral look of confusion, they turned their heads over to Renji's.

"Ask him" Rukia said and pointed to Renji.

"Ok then, Renji what do you want?" Byakuya asked.

Their eyes locked together, their icy glares met each others. They didn't blink for one second at all.

"...I'll be leaving now..." Rina said quietly and left the room.

"...So?" Byakuya asked once more.

"I..." Renji started still keeping his face.

"..." Rukia and Ichigo listened closely to Byakuya's and Renji's "conversation".

"...forget" Renji concluded.

"...YOU FORGOT?!!!!! YOU FRICKIN DRAGGED US HERE FOR NOTHING?!!" Rukia and Ichigo screamed at Renji who looked utterly confused.

Byakuya sighed from the complete idiotic person that was being yelled at. "The one moment when I thought I got rid of him...will never come..." Byakuya muttered.

---

"Why are there so many ants in here?" Rangiku wailed as she stood up on the couch watching all the ants crawl by.

"I know!! They keep crawling all over the place!!" Tori added on, staring down at the ants.

"They're just ants' deal with it" Hitsugaya said watching the two females staring at the ants in fright.

Tori pouted at him. "We're out of _Raid_ smart one!" She told him.

"Now we have a reason to be scared!" He said and jumped up into the air watching the ants crawl by.

"...What's going on here?" Ukitake asked as he opened the door.

"...We have an infestation" Rangiku told him.

"HYA!!" Tori dropped a book on the ants flattening them. "...THEY'RE MULTIPLYING!!!" She shrieked frightened by the ants that crawled over the book.

"...Oh would you look at the...tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime!" Ukitake dashed out of the division and straight to another avoiding the ants.

"**The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah**  
**The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah**  
**The ants go marching one by one,**  
**The little one stops to suck his thumb**  
**And they all go marching down to the ground**  
**To get out of the rain, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!"** Tori sang out as she watched the ants.

**"****The ants go marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah**  
**The ants go marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah**  
**The ants go marching two by two,**  
**The little one stops to tie his shoe**  
**And they all go marching down to the ground**  
**To get out of the rain, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!"** This time Rangiku had joined in with Tori.

**"The ants go marching three by three, hurrah, hurrah  
The ants go marching three by three, hurrah, hurrah  
The ants go marching three by three,  
The little one stops to climb a tree  
And they all go marching down to the ground  
To get out of the rain, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!"** Yachiru happened to be walking by and she heard the song so she decided tojoin in.

**"The ants go marching four by four, hurrah, hurrah  
The ants go marching four by four, hurrah, hurrah  
The ants go marching four by four,  
The little one stops to shut the door  
And they all go marching down to the ground  
To get out of the rain, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!"** The song was getting louder and louder. The song was as contagious as thecold soon more and more people joined in.

"...Hey I hear a song" Rukia said as she stopped yelling at Renji. Ichigo stopped and listened in. Soon all 4 decided to stop fighting and go to the source of the song.

"...Do you hear singing Mika?" Rina asked as she and Mika were just hanging out since they had nothing to do.

"...Yeah...let's go see!" Mika decided.

When they arrived at 10th Division they were already at the 7th verse of the song. The ants had stopped in their tracks and looked like they were dancing; that or they were just wondering what was going on.

**"****The ants go marching seven by seven, hurrah, hurrah**  
**The ants go marching seven by seven, hurrah, hurrah**  
**The ants go marching seven by seven,**  
**The little one stops to pray to heaven**  
**And they all go marching down to the ground**  
**To get out of the rain, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!**

**The ants go marching eight by eight, hurrah, hurrah****  
****The ants go marching eight by eight, hurrah, hurrah****  
****The ants go marching eight by eight,****  
****The little one stops to shut the gate****  
****And they all go marching down to the ground****  
****To get out of the rain, BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!**

Once the song had finished everyone just left.

"...Why won't the ants leave?!" Tori asked watching the ants come and go.

**"DOES ANYONE HAVE _RAID_?!"** Rangiku shouted out.

"...Here ya go" Ganju said as he ran by.

"...Hey was that Ganju?" Tori wondered as Rangiku sprayed the Raid all over the place. "**GAH!! ASTHMA ATTACK!!!**" Tori shouted and collapsed onto the ground.

"**MATSUMOTO!!**" Hitsugaya roared and immediately dragged Tori out of the room.

Well, after Tori was brought out of the room that smelled of...whatever Raid smelt like, Tori was just fine. Hitsugaya thought that she faking it once that happened.

"What?" She asked innocently.

"You gave me a heart attack that's what!" He yelled back.

"..." The two sat in silence. All they could hear were Rangiku's shouts of success and the sound of ants keeling over by the spray.

---

"Yo! Hanatarou!" Ganju ran into 4th Division to meet up with Hanatarou.

"Ah Ganju-san! What brings you here?" He asked.

"...It's called I'm escaping nee-chan's torture training" He said in a low hush.

"Oh okay...but don't you think it's kinda obvious to be here though?" Hanatarou asked.

"...What?" Ganju asked dumbfounded.

"I mean, don't you think that Kuukaku-sama would know instantly that you're here?" Hanatarou asked.

"What gave you that crazy idea?" He asked confused.

"Maybe you should turn around" A feminine voice said.

"...Oh I get it now!" Ganju exclaimed with a happy face, he turned around and his expression changed. "KYAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Ganju yelled in fright as he raced out and ran to some odd direction.

"**GET BACK HERE!!**" Kuukaku yelled as she ran just as fast after him.

He ran into a room without reading the sign and hid in the room. After 5 minutes of complete silence Ganju took the time to see where he was.

"What the hell?" He muttered as he saw 3 guys in the center of the room. "Uh hi?" He waved to the three. "...Hey weren't you guys the 3 evil guys that betrayed Seireitei and got probed up to the Menos?" Ganju asked.

"Yeah..." Gin replied. "What of it?"

"How come you guys are back here?" He asked suspiciously.

"We're in rehab" Gin told him.

"Oh...well while I'm here; think you guys could help me out with my older homicidal sister?" He asked.

"Only if you do us one thing" Gin said with his sly smile. He looked at Tousen and Aizen who nodded in approval. "Sing us: _If all the Raindrops_" Gin said.

"What?!" Ganju yelled.

"Do you want us to help you or not?" Aizen asked.

"Oh alright..." he sighed.

"**If all the raindrops  
Were lemondrops and gumdrops  
Oh, what a rain that would be!  
Standing outside, with my mouth open wide  
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah  
If all the raindrops  
Were lemondrops and gumdrops  
Oh, what a rain that would be!**

**If all the snowflakes  
Were candy bars and milkshakes  
Oh, what a snow that would be!  
Standing outside, with my mouth open wide  
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah  
If all the snowflakes  
Were candy bars and milkshakes  
Oh, what a snow that would be!**

**If all the sunbeams  
Were bubblegum and ice cream  
Oh, what a sun that would be!  
Standing outside, with my mouth open wide  
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah  
If all the sunbeams  
Were bubblegum and ice cream  
Oh, what a sun that would be!**" Ganju forced himself to sing that song that kids would probably lean in preschool.

"OK" The 3 former shinigami got up and left in search of Kuukaku.

* * *

"So the wedding reception's gonna be at my place during July 17th of some years to come" Rukia said.

"Why so long?" Hinamori asked.

"Have to get nii-sama used to Ichigo in the house first" She explained.

"Oh right"

"Hey have you guys seen my idiot of a brother?" Kuukaku asked as she ran into them.

"Um...nope" Rangiku answered.

"Is he here?" Mika asked.

"Yeah he's supposed to be training but he ran away" She explained.

"Hey are you Kuukaku?" Someone asked and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Yeah" She answered and turned around.

"Hey you guys are supposed to be in your padded room!" Yachiru told them.

"Your brother's looking for you!" Aizen told her and pointed to where Ganju was.

"**WHAT?! NO I WASN'T!!**" Ganju yelled as he started to run away. "**YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME GET HER AWAY FROM ME!!!**" He yelled.

"**YOU JUST SAID YOU WANTED OUR HELP!!!**" Gin yelled at him.

"**STUPID LOOPHOLES!!**" Ganju cursed as he doubled his speed.

"Yeah we're leaving" Aizen said and the 3 left.

"...That was weird" Rukia said.

"No kidding"

"So who's gonna help me out with this?" Rukia asked the girls.

"We will!" All of them said.

"OK! I'm also gonna need some help from the guys too..." She said quietly.

"We'll get them to help us!" Rangiku said.

---

"Hey Rina wait up!" Rukia ran over to Rina, it was already 10 PM and almost everyone had decided to go home.

"Yeah? What is it Rukia?" She asked.

"Well I was hoping you'd give me advice about my situation" She said shyly.

"...Am I a marriage counselor or something?" Rina wondered.

"Huh what was that?" Rukia asked.

"Oh nothing"

"Um...I was wondering, do you think it's strange for me to get married already?" She asked shyly.

"...No why?" Rina asked.

"Well, it's just that I'm the first one in a few centuries and... well it just came so fast!"

"I know what you mean, it's hard to deal with a 17 year old doofus proposing to you" Rina said. "I've been surrounded by idiots I can understand"

"Yeah but none of them have proposed to you" Rukia pointed out.

"Well you should talk this out to Ichigo and..." Rina paused. "God this is what I always have to say" She sighed. "**Give it some time**"

"Ok"

"There's no need to rush things anyway, you have a whole long life ahead of you so why rush things?"

"Right, thanks"

"Oh can you tell Ichigo something?" Rina asked before leaving.

"Yeah of course"

"Tell him that he has a match with Zaraki tomorrow and that Ganju's "visiting", then tell him to visit his family and friends in the real world and..." Rina stopped for a second.

"...Is that it?" Rukia asked hoping she would remember the whole list.

"...That idiot Isshin!! Telling me to do something for him when he knows I have the crappiest memory in the world!!" Rina muttered angrily under her breath. "I'll tell you tomorrow, can't remember anything right now"

"Ok, and um, could you..."

"What?"

"Punch that post" Rukia pointed to the post to the right of Rina. She punched it and out fell..


	13. Unexpected Visitors

"YOU--?!" Rukia gasped as she recognized who had fallen out of the...post... "Why the hell are you here?" She asked as she backed away slightly frightened.

"You know him Rukia?" Rina asked confused. She nodded still wide-eyed.

"He's..."

* * *

"10:35:17…18…19…" Tori counted as she stared at the clock in front of her.

"Rina's late, oh well we can manage…I think" Mika said flipping channels.

"Anyways what's on?" Tori asked as she diverted her attention towards the TV.

"News, news, news, news... hey!" Mika exclaimed.

"What?" Tori asked surprised.

"News…" Mika muttered and continued flipping channels.

Tori sighed. "Nothing interesting ever happens around here!!" She whined and fell onto her back to the couch..

The TV screen suddenly became all static-y, a few seconds later the TV shut off. The lights went out as well.

"IT'S DARK!!" Mika and Tori yelled once they noticed they were sitting in a pitch black room.

"Mika where are you?" Tori asked as she stood up from the couch and tried to find her friend. "OW!" Tori yelped when she walked into the table.

"I know! We'll head back to my room!" Mika declared and stumbled her way to her room.

"Why your room?" Tori asked as she walked into the table once more.

"Cuz I said so" Mika replied.

After many trips, stumbles and bumping into miscellaneous objects, both Tori and Mika managed to get to Mika's room.

"I knew having glow-in-the-dark stuff was an awesome idea!!" Mika said as she identified some items that were glowing in the dark.

"Yeah that's great but these don't light up for long" Tori pointed out.

"Don't worry I have it all planned out!!" Mika said. "Why do you think we always get the Happy Meals at McDonald's?" Mika asked.

"Cuz you like the toys?" Tori suggested. "And Nariko always wants them?"

"…No, cuz they have toys that have lights!" Mika said as she lit up one of those toys. "There! See? I knew these things would be needed!" Mika proved her point as her room was lit up just by the slightest.

"Yeah, yeah…wait…where's Nariko?" Tori asked.

"Oh Rangiku's babysitting her…" Mika said.

"If Nariko becomes an alcoholic, we know who to blame"

"Right!"

The girls sat in darkness for awhile having absolutely nothing to do at all whatsoever. They started playing little games but that got tiring and really boring. They nearly fell asleep until they heard a thud at the front of the house.

"…Mika, was that you?" Tori asked slightly nervous.

"No…was that you?" She asked Tori back.

"No…" Another thump came in the front.

"…Why is this happening so much now?!" Mika asked frustrated from so many frightening experiences that were happening so often.

"Well we have to go see what it is!" Tori said.

"Okay but just in case," Mika reached under her bed and pulled out a cylindrical figure. "We're gonna need some firepower!" Mika said and swung the figure down, extending it.

"…Couldn't we use our zanpakutou's?" Tori asked waving her zanpakutou in the air.

"…Yeah, good idea, backup!"

"Whatever" Tori sighed and trekked behind Mika.

* * *

"Dammit! What are they doing?"

"Keep knocking they'll get to us!"

"They better!"

"Well their power is out so it'd be hard for them to get to us"

"…Would you quit doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"The be all smart thing!"

"Hey I can't help it that I'm smart and you're stupid"

"WHY YOU--!!!"

"Hey he has a point baka!"

"Aww shut up!!"

"Eh shut yer trap and keep knocking!"

"Aye-aye captain!"

"Don't give me that attitude!!"

"YESSIR!!!"

"…you'll never learn…"

* * *

"Do you seriously think that a light-saber is going to scare off who or what is at the door?!" Tori asked as she still followed Mika heading slowly towards the door.

"Only if I use the force!" Mika said, with that she pressed the button and the light-saber glowed a bright blue.

"Where's Rina when you need her?" Tori wondered.

* * *

"OHH!!! So you're here because you were requested by Yamamoto-soutaichou because of some idiot messing up!!" Rina said figuring it out.

"Yup"

"So you're not a peeping Tom then!" Rukia said.

"…No…so what's going on here? It got really dark"

"Power outage probably"

"Don't worry it'll be back in a few minutes, 10 minutes tops" Rukia assured them.

* * *

"If this stupid door doesn't open in 10 seconds, I'm gonna break it down!!"

"Fine I'll count"

"10, 9, 8, 7…"

"...45, 89, 982, 1,498,491…"

"Oh shoot I lost where I was, guess I'll have to restart! 10, 9, 8…what comes after 8?"

"78? It's 79!"

"No **EIGHT**"

"You gained WEIGHT?"

"**EIGHT!!!**"

"You're STRAIGHT?!"

"WHAT? I'M GETTING MARRIED MORON! **EIGHT**!! **E-I-G-H-T**!!"

"You mean eight?"

"YES!!"

"Uh…"

"Ask the smart-ass over there"

"It's 7"

"OK 7, 6, 5, hey look a butterfly!"

"WOULD YOU GET ON WITH IT!!?"

"Oh right …where was I?"

"5!!"

"Really I was sure I was at 38"

"It was a countdown from 10!"

"Oh really? 10, 9, 8…"

* * *

"Ok on the count of 3, I'm gonna open this door!" Mika told Tori. "Then we pull on this tripwire so when they come running in they'll trip and fall into the apple pies!!"

"Why are we wasting these pies though?" Tori whined.

"Because…" Mika said and leaned over and whispered. "They're expired!!"

"…I thought these were home-made!"

"…Whatever!"

"OK so on 3. 1, 2…"

"**3"**

"**0"**

"**HYA!!"** Mika opened the door swiftly while the people inside ran into the door that was supposed to be closed.

"Uh oh…" They muttered noticing what had just happened.

"NOW!!" Mika and Tori pulled hard on the tripwire. As anticipated the people that were outside tripped and fell into the pies.

"Hey wait a minute, aren't you guys…"

* * *

"…Yeah well sorry about attacking you with our kidou spells" Rukia said to the man that had fallen out of his very strange hiding place. "Can never be too careful!"

"Yeah well it doesn't really matter; Kurosaki usually attacks me every time I ask him to do something for me"

"OK we're here!" Rina said as they approached her house.

"Nice! How much it cost?"

"Well we kinda had help from friends that built it for us… since we had so many new members to the 'family'" Rina explained. "…Funny the door's unlocked…" She said once she pushed the door open.

"Why's it so dark in here?" Rukia asked. "You guys have a backup generator!" She said as she flicked on the light switch.

"Um…what's going on here?" Rina asked the group that was lying on the floor. Some very familiar faces were covered in pastry residue; bruises, slap marks and some were just unscathed.

"A better question is, why is _he_ here?!" One pointed at the visitor with Rina and Rukia.


	14. Scavenger Hunt

"We had a backup generator?" Mika asked looking around for it. "Since when and where?" She asked flipping up a couch looking under it.

"Right when we had this place built, I asked them to make sure there was a backup generator in here" Rina explained. "And it's in one of the only places someone would want to put a generator" She continued.

"I got it!!" Mika and Tori said in unison and dashed towards the kitchen.

"It's in the oven isn't it!!?" Tori yelled out while Mika opened up the oven and peered inside.

"…Oh my god" Rina sighed.

"Yeah well back to my question, why the hell is that guy here?!" The male asked again.

"What the hell happened to your hair color?" Rukia asked. "It was orange before! Now it's, white" She said.

"Shut up Rukia!" He huffed.

"What a nice thing to say to your fiancée" One male told him, his hair was also covered in something white but there was still red here and there.

"…Well at least I have one, not like you who has a girlfriend that tortures you" He sneered.

"Hey shut up!! At least she doesn't ditch me!!"

"What about the time when she went to Gin?" One asked who had pure white hair, he looked quite normal.

"That doesn't count!"

"What are you talking about Renji? Of course it does!!" Rukia piped up.

"Oh go talk to your strawberry boy!" He pouted and pushed Ichigo over.

"…What was that for?" Ichigo asked and pushed Renji back.

"**I FOUND IT!!!**" Mika hollered out happily. She and Tori reappeared from the kitchen gleefully. Mika was holding something large in her hands.

"…Um…Mika, Tori, sorry to burst your bubble…again, but…" Rina started, appalled at what the two had ripped out of the kitchen. "That's the kitchen sink" She told them.

"…Are you sure?" Mika asked looking down at the object she had forcefully ripped out of the kitchen.

"Yeah and I bet this guy over here would tell you that is the kitchen sink" She pointed to the man she and Rukia had brought over.

"…Why is he here?" Tori asked confused.

"Special orders" Rukia replied.

"Ohh…okay"

"But, geta-boushi was banned from here. How did he get back here?" Ichigo asked wiping off the white from his hair bringing back the orange.

"It took a while but they managed to allow me back" Urahara said happily.

"O…K…but why?" Ichigo asked still not understanding the situation.

"Something about Mayuri screwing up on his weird, deranged experiments" Rukia said.

"It was bound to happen anyways so what's the big deal?" Renji asked curiously.

"Well his screw up was so huge he landed in 4th Division in critical condition so someone else has to take over" Rina explained.

"Why don't they let Nemu take charge?" Hitsugaya asked.

"Mayuri has issues let's just settle with that" Urahara spoke up.

"Oh ok…" Everybody became silent once again.

"So…why are you guys here? With whipped cream on your heads?" Rina asked breaking the silence.

"Well it started with the power outage," Ichigo started. "We decided to go to your guys' place for light-up things/glow-in-the-dark stuff but you guys didn't open the door. So we started banging up the door and were going to break it down if it didn't open. But we couldn't count to 10 for some _**very odd reason**_--!!" He glared at Renji "So when we FINALLY got to '0' we ran in but you guys opened the door and there was a tripwire and we went 'splat' onto the pies. THE END" Ichigo finished his little story.

"What--?!" Tori gasped. "Story time with Ichigo is already over?" She said a little distraught. "Awww…." She tossed the pillow she was sitting on back on to the couch in disappointment.

"So you came here to get those little light up toys you get in a McDonald's Happy Meal, and glow-in-the-dark stuff? FROM **US**?!!!" Rina asked putting the story together.

"Yeah, and they're not **ALL** from McDonald's!!" Ichigo pointed out. "Some are from Burger King! Or just in stores..."

"Yeah…whatever…Rukia I feel so sorry for you when he has to look after the baby!" Rina whispered over to Rukia.

"I know I can visualize it!" Rukia said. "He's gonna be holding the baby by the ankles" She muttered.

"THIS IS IT ISN'T IT?!!!" Mika and Tori yelled from who know's where.

"Uh…where are you guys?" Renji yelled out.

"RIGHT HERE!!!" They replied.

"Where's 'here'?!" Hitsugaya asked.

"Are you people blind?!" Mika's voice asked.

"Apparently we are" Byakuya spoke up a little annoyed by the girls' little hide and seek game.

"Just take a step and we'll direct you guys!" Tori yelled out.

"It's you guys who wanna know" Rukia told the men. "So YOU GUYS should play along"

Hitsugaya took a step towards the kitchen. "WARMER!!" Tori yelled out. Soon the rest of the group went straight towards the kitchen. They stood in there scanning the area.

"WHAT--?!!" Renji yelped from surprise.

"WHAT?!" Everyone else asked back.

"…There's no cheese in here!" He gasped looking at the fridge.

"Oh sorry must've ate it all" Ichigo said sheepishly.

"And there's no milk!!" He gasped.

"I'm at fault there!" Hitsugaya said. Everybody looked at him strangely, being that he was the one that was usually the smartest and intact; they never thought he would actually raid someone else's fridge. "What?" He asked. "I'm a growing boy!" He pointed out.

"It sounds so weird for a captain to call himself a boy" Ichigo said.

"No kidding" Renji agreed.

"But he's short and all, I don't blame him for not wanting to shoot up faster" Byakuya said.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!!" Hitsugaya yelled enraged from the short comment.

"AHEM!!!" Tori and Mika yelled out.

"Oh right" Renji remembered their little game and slammed the fridge door shut.

They went into the dining room and looked around.

"COLD!!"

"Dammit!"

"Something's not right here…" Ichigo said surveying the dinner table very carefully.

"What is it?" Byakuya asked.

"The chair's are way too straight and aligned perfectly, and the table's too long for 3 people living here" He said observing the circular table with 4 chair's set around it.

"…Ichigo, what's your IQ?" Hitsugaya asked.

"89" He replied.

"No wonder" Hitsugaya sighed and shook his head.

"What?" Ichigo asked blankly.

"People's IQ are usually at a 100 range" Renji told him. "It means you're stupid" Renji said to him in the easiest way possible for Ichigo to understand.

"…Stupid IQ test…" Ichigo grumbled.

They decided to head upstairs which they found out to be closer to the girls.

"I never knew you guys had an upstairs" Renji said stepping up the steps to a dark, dark world.

"Me neither" Rina spoke up.

"Weird isn't it?" Ichigo asked. "Wait a minute…" He looked behind him to see Rukia, Rina and Urahara trudging behind them. "I thought you guys were waiting downstairs!"

"We've been following you guys the whole time!" Urahara told him.

"…You guys must be pro stalkers then" He said quietly.

"YOU GUYS ARE GETTING WARMER!!" Mika yelled out.

"Okay there's only the bedrooms and the bathroom and the attic" Hitsugaya said looking at the lone hallway.

"HOLD IT!!" Rukia and Rina subdued the men from heading into the bedrooms. "We'll look in them, Urahara restrain them" Rukia told him.

"Will do!" Urahara said happily and pulled them all into a very strange and disturbing group hug.

The girls quickly scanned the rooms and detected Mika's and Tori's reiatsu to be nowhere near the rooms.

"Well they're not in the bedrooms or the bathroom" Rukia said heading back to the blue faces of their beloved captains.

"Urahara, you can stop killing them now" Rina told him.

"Ok!" With that, he let go; the released captains gasped and sputtered for air.

"Well that's the consequences for being perverts isn't it?" Rukia asked.

"All that's left is the attic then!"

They pulled down the ladder and climbed up to the attic. "So do you see them Ichigo?" Rukia asked.

"Yes and something else you guys should see too!" He said quite frightened.

All of them headed up and got a good look at the attic.

"Hey you guys found us!" Tori realized.

"WE FOUND THE GENERATOR!!" Mika yelled and pointed at what she and Tori were sitting by.

"Is that the generator?" Renji asked Rina.

"…No…" She replied.

"Then what is it?" Byakuya asked.

"Lemme show you" She told them. She walked over to the object and flipped up a switch.

"…I don't get it" Renji said as a ball came hurtling over to his head. "OW!! What was that?" He asked and looked down at the tennis ball.

"Wait a minute, is this one of those tennis ball launcher thingamajigs?!" Ichigo asked as he dodged a couple of the tennis balls.

"Yup" Rina replied and turned off the machine.

"So where's the generator?" Tori asked.

"Maybe you should look in oh I dunno…THE BASEMENT?!!" Rina told them.

"…That was our second guess!" Mika said.

"…Isn't this your second one though?" Renji asked.

"Can it Ren-Ren!" She snapped at him.

"…OK!!" He said quickly quite frightened at Mika's reaction.

"By the way, who are these guys and what happened here?" Ichigo asked staring at a little figures that all had beards and a weird happy face on.

"GARDEN GNOMES!!" Mika yelled out.

"…I'll be downstairs!!" Rina said quickly and jumped out of the attic.

"Told ya they come to life!" Tori laughed at Ichigo who had a bunch of garden gnomes around him.

"…WE'LL BE DOWNSTAIRS!!" They all yelled and left quickly.


	15. Attacks at Night

_Thank you to: **Tori-62**, **Arkon**, **Mik-San**,** Jerkess**, **BleachFan4Evur**, **hollowheart3**, **Shuuhei'sgirl69** and **jenniu**; for either: favoriting, alert-ing, or reviewing--it's about time I gave you guys credit! Arigatou gozaimasu minna-san!!_

* * *

"How much whipped cream did they spray on you guys?" Rukia asked curiously.

"A lot," Ichigo said. "Once we fell into the pies, we as in me and Renji, they started spraying whip cream on us." Ichigo explained finally free of whip cream.

"Well you know it wasn't so bad for you Ichigo" Renji spoke up.

"Oh really, and how is that?" Ichigo asked Renji curiously.

"Well you know what they say, Cool Whip goes with almost anything" Renji started. "And well whip cream is good with strawberries and—"

"—SHUT UP!!!" Ichigo roared from the strawberry joke.

"Well it's true" Rukia said.

"Not you too!!!" Ichigo yelled appalled that Rukia would side with Renji.

"Well at least all of the whip cream is gone" Rukia pointed out.

"Yeah, good thing we showed up and made them use warm water and soap/shampoo to get it out." Rina agreed. "Luckily they didn't start licking it off of each other"

"Y-Yeah…how un-manly of us that would be…" Renji and Ichigo looked at each other nervously.

"Ew" Rina and Rukia said in disgust and shuffled back a bit.

"Alrighty, I think it's time for us to take our leave" Urahara said standing up, dusting himself off.

"Alright, I'll get Mika and Tori to escort both of you guys' home" Rina said motioning towards Hitsugaya and Renji.

"We don't need an escort!" Renji protested. "We're definitely more than strong enough to take on anybody!" Renji assured her.

"Besides, who'd wanna attack us?" Hitsugaya asked.

"Your rabid fangirls and or fanguys?" Rina suggested.

"…Right…" They said and waited for Mika and Tori to get out of the attic.

* * *

"Mika, Tori, it's time for the guys to go!!" Rina called up from the attic stairs.

"OK!!" Both girls yelled and descended.

"Mika, what's with the light-saber?" Rina asked confused when she saw Mika emerge from the attic.

"What else? Self-defense!!" She said enthusiastically.

"Long story, let's move!" Tori said and pushed to two girls back to the living room.

* * *

"This is very awkward" Hitsugaya sighed as his 'bodyguard' was walking alongside him.

"What is?" Tori asked curiously.

"My escort is shorter than me," He started.

"Well excuse me!" Tori huffed offended at being called short.

"…And I seriously doubt that someone would attack me" He continued on.

"SASQUATCH!!" Tori shrieked and jumped back.

"Huh? WHAT THE F—!!!"

* * *

"You see that house over there?" Renji pointed at an old, wooden house that looked comparable to a shack...or a burnt out campfire.

"Yeah" Mika replied.

"It's supposed to be haunted" Renji told her.

"…Renji" Mika said.

"What?"

"WE'RE DEAD!!! WHAT'S THERE TO BE AFRAID OF?!" Mika asked.

"…NO ONE KNOWS WHAT'S IN THERE!!" Renji fought back.

"It's just some silly story, not like some weird gruesome murder was in there" Mika said pushing aside the thought.

"Actually…"

"I don't want to hear it!"

* * *

"So, how is it getting to live with Ichigo in your house?" Rina asked Byakuya.

"Don't start it" He muttered.

"Is it really that bad?" She asked looking at Ichigo and Rukia walking in front of them.

"Well, no not really"

"Surprise, surprise" Rina rolled her eyes from his answer.

"Are you guys talking about us?!" Ichigo asked not looking back.

"Psh, who'd wanna talk about you?" Rukia asked and ruffled his hair.

"QUIT IT!!" He yelled pushing Rukia's hand back.

"Geez, what's wrong with you?" Rukia asked backing off, she slowed her pace until she was with Rina and her brother.

"Me thinks he has issues" Rukia whispered over to Rina.

"Me thinks your brother is going to kill him" Rina whispered back.

"Really?" Rukia asked and looked towards where her brother was…supposed to be!

"Uh-oh" Both girls said in unison.

* * *

"Hey nice place ya got!" Tori commented when she and he reached his home. Aside from having a stray cat attack, they both were safe.

"…I don't like cats anymore" Hitsugaya muttered.

"Aw chill, it was just saying: **OMG SHIRO-CHAN!**!" Tori told him. "And then it simply glomped you!!"

"It scratched me Tori, you call that some version of showing affection?" He asked grumpily.

"For a cat yes, for a human it should be a punch in the gut." Tori said.

"…Whatever goodnight" He said and went in.

"NIGHT SNOWFLAKE!!" Tori waved and shunpoed home; well she visited the watermelon field first and then went home.

* * *

"HA! I knew my light-saber would be put to good use!" Mika said enthusiastically, punching the air.

"Yeah, yeah whatever" Renji grumbled.

"Oh come on! So what if a raccoon attacked us? The main point is that its gone and **I **saved your ass!" Mika said optimistically.

"I'm pretty sure it gave me rabies though" He muttered.

"…It didn't come close to you at all" She pointed out.

"Oh right…"

"So wanna go up to that weird house place tomorrow?" Mika asked hopefully.

"Er…no…" Renji said not thinking it over.

"OH come on!" Mika slapped him in the back.

"Sorry Mika but we have work tomorrow so it's a no-can-do" He told her.

"…It's **SATURDAY** tomorrow!! There's no work!" Mika notified him.

"Oh yeah…"

"So we're going to that house tomorrow then! Well good night; don't let the chupacabra eat ya!" Mika said and waved him off.

"…The goat eater?" Renji asked to himself and looked around hoping that no such beast was around.

* * *

"Night guys!" Rina said and waved them off.

"Night!" Rukia yawned and stumbled towards her room.

"I could go for some Vodka right about now" Ichigo yawned.

"…Ok…" Rina said confused as he walked into a pole before making it to his room. "Could you do me a favor?" Rina asked Byakuya.

"Ok"

"Slap Ichigo 5 times in the head in the morning"

"…Why?"

"He'll be more alert to all the bunnies following him"

"Can't believe he hasn't noticed them yet" Byakuya said in disbelief as he saw a parade of bunnies entering the household.

"Well night" Rina said and left.

* * *

"…TOMORROW WE'RE GOING TO THE HAUNTED HOUSE!!!" Mika declared.

"…There's a haunted house?" Tori asked.

"Yeah so how bout it?" Mika asked. "I want the other guys to come along too"

"Sure, Saturday morning cartoons are a thing of the past" Rina said.

Mika and Tori gasped. "Rina!" They both gasped in shock.

"What?"

"How dare you say that about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!" They gasped.

"…Ok…I guess I've offended Sonic the Hedgehog too huh?" Rina asked.

"Yeah no kidding!"

"Ok then…to the hedgehog and turtle gods…I'm sorry if I've offended you" Rina somewhat apologized.

"That's better!" Mika patted Rina on the back.

"I'm going to bed now" Rina decided.

"OKAY!! DON'T LET THE CHUPACABRA EAT YA!!" Mika hollered.

"…Mika, it's **'don't let the bedbugs bite'**" Tori told her.

"It is?" Mika asked Tori nodded. "Oh…"

* * *

"Garlic in every window door and hallway, silver in every room, every room has a nightlight and I have my mop!" Renji said, setting traps all over his house. "TAKE THAT CHUPACABRA!!!" He yelled to his lonesome self. "I DON'T HAVE ANY GOATS WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW?!!" He questioned the 'elusive' chupacabra which was nowhere to be seen. "Damn!" He said all the sudden. "I forgot the wooden stake!"


	16. Haunted House Experience

"Wow you really screwed up" Urahara commented on Mayuri's bandaged up body.

"Oh shut up!" Mayuri snapped.

"So what do you want me to do while I'm here?" Urahara asked trying to be as friendly as possible without wanting to attack him for swearing and badmouthing towards him.

"Finish off my experiment" He said quickly.

"…What were you experimenting on? The last thing I want happening is ending up like you. And with that face of yours" Urahara said.

Mayuri gave him an icy glare. "Nemu will explain it to you" He said through clenched teeth.

"OK" Urahara got up and went to leave the room.

"Oh and one more thing" Mayuri said.

"Yes?"

"Keep that baldy away from my daughter" He said.

"…Is there some sort of romantic vibe going on between those two?" He asked curiously.

"That's none of your business JUST GO!!" He screeched.

"OKAY, OKAY!!!" With that Urahara ran all the way to 12th Division.

* * *

"Haunted house?" Rukia asked. "Aren't those for little kids?"

"Not this one!" Mika told her.

"…Really…"

"Yeah, it's really old and it has been abandoned for years" Mika explained.

"Kinda like a certain someone's head?" Hinamori asked in a low hush pointing to a bunch of dimwits standing around in a corner.

"Yeah" Mika replied. "Anyway…how bout it? We'll just sneak off and no one will notice!!" Mika said enthusiastically.

"…It's Friday though, we have work to do" Rukia said.

"I thought it was Saturday…" Mika pondered. "Whatever, we'll ditch work and go!" She decided.

"Sure, it's not like the work is important or anything" Rangiku rolled her eyes.

* * *

"SUGOI!!! THIS PLACE LOOKS EVEN **WORST** THAN WHEN I WAS HERE!!!" Urahara exclaimed in shock at his former division that was a gray and clammy.

"…T-Taichou?!" A bunch of members cried out surprised.

"Hi!" Urahara waved and walked in calmly.

"I thought you were banned though" Akon said walking up to him.

"Well you thought wrong!" Urahara said patting Akon's head with a smile.

"…So…Let me ask you guys' one very crucial question" Urahara started gathering everyone's attention. "WHAT MORON CHOSE THIS EMO COLOR?!!" Urahara practically yelled pointing at the gray on the walls.

"Well Kurotsuchi-taichou wanted it to be more…scientific-like" Rin spoke up.

"Well then what happened to my Hello Kitty bobble-head that was right here where I left it some years ago?!" He asked pointing at a desk with absolutely nothing on it. "And what about the Pez that was next to it hmm? Can you explain what happen to my Mudkip plushy that was right here?!! It was right where this man-eating plant is!" Urahara told them.

"…Well we were ordered to clear all of you belongings" One spoke up quietly.

"Well then I guess the perfect thing to do today is…" Urahara said thinking of some sort of consequence. "Redo the entire division" He said happily with a paint bucket in his hand and a paintbrush in the other.

"…Are you serious?" Akon asked slightly embarrassed having once followed under that man's rules.

"I'm **DEAD SERIOUS**" Urahara said in a quiet but deathly tone to Akon.

"…Fukutaichou-sama!" Akon called over to Nemu. "Do we follow this bonehead's rules or continue on with what we're doing?!" He asked.

"Just do as he says" She answered timidly.

"ALRIGHTY!! GET TO IT!!!" Urahara said and got the oh-so-motivated division to get up and start redecorating the place. "Oh by the way…" Urahara moved over towards Nemu. "Are you and that Ikkaku person have some sort of _connection_?" He asked curiously.

"…Uh…I-I don't know what you're talking about!" She said quickly unable to hide the blush that had surfaced to her face.

"Don't worry I won't tell your crazy-demented father!" He assured her and then went off.

* * *

"So this is it huh?" Rangiku asked as she gazed up at the wooden structure that barely deserved to be called a house.

"Yup" Mika replied.

"…Really?" Tori asked. "Cuz all I see is a pile of wood on another pile of wood" She told her.

"…Well then you're seeing it!" Mika told her.

"Psh, haunted houses, please! I highly doubt that there's something here!" Rukia said.

Together the group went into the house hoping the structure would be able to hold the new weight that had ventured inside.

"It's so dark!" Rangiku spoke the obvious.

"And dusty!" Hinamori pointed out.

"So…this is the grandiose adventure of the haunted house" Rina spoke up. "…Okay I'm bored!"

"Aww come on! It's just started!" Mika whined.

"Okay but this better be worth it" Rina said boredly.

"This kinda reminds me of Beauty and the Beast" Yachiru piped up.

"Yachiru?!" Everyone just realized that Yachiru had tagged along.

"I thought you were with Nemu!" Rangiku squealed. "Something about replacing Ise with Nemu for the vice-captain spot in our meetings!" She continued.

"You're gonna replace Ise?" Rukia asked bewildered.

"Behind her back too?!" Momo asked just shocked from the news.

"I'm telling!" Both Tori and Mika pointed at Yachiru and whined to her in some 5-year old voice.

"Noooooooo--!!!" Yachiru pouted. "I'll get in trouble then!" She whined.

"That's the point of telling on someone" Rukia told her.

"I'll tell your captains that you guys ditched work for some haunted house!" She retaliated.

"But won't they know that you ditched too since you saw us?" Rina asked her.

"Nya!!" Yachiru pouted and sat down on the floor cross-legged.

"Well either we keep Yachiru with us so none of us get in trouble or we let her go to tell the world" Momo thought out.

"…You know if we release her it'll make it more fun-!" Rangiku said hoping to spice up the adventure.

"True but who knows who will come down here" Mika pointed out.

"She's got a point there" Tori agreed with Mika.

"Yeah the last thing we want is for some captain to come down here!" Rukia sided with Tori and Mika.

"DAMMIT!"

* * *

"What happened here?" Ukitake and Kyouraku asked as they were paying a visit to Urahara. "It's so…bright!" Ukitake commented on the room as they both ventured further into the room.

"What's with the fluffy clouds?" Kyouraku asked pointing at the cloud prints all over the walls.

"You like?" Urahara asked from outta nowhere.

"AAGH!" Ukitake and Kyouraku gasped from the surprise encounter.

"I was about to paint glow in the dark stars on the ceiling when you two came in" Urahara said pointing at the black ceiling.

"…So its daytime mixed with nighttime?" Kyouraku asked slightly confused.

"YUP!! Isn't it original?" Urahara asked all upbeat and optimistic.

"…It's different" Ukitake answered.

"Oh and we're changing the flooring too" Urahara said grabbing a can of paint.

"What's wrong with hardwood laminate?" Kyouraku asked.

"…It's just really smooth concrete in here" Urahara pointed out.

"…So that's why it was so easy to slide around in here…" Kyouraku started to ponder.

"Well Kurotsuchi-taichou wanted to know the progress of his experiment" Ukitake told Urahara, the true meaning behind why the two captains had walked into the new and bright division.

"Oh about that…I can't find it" Urahara said stepping up a precariously tall ladder.

" 'You can't find it'" Ukitake repeated.

"Yup, you must have good ears" Urahara commented.

"Right…well he wants it finished in 2 weeks, that's when he returns" Ukitake warned him.

"Okie-dokie"

"And shouldn't someone be holding the ladder so you don't fall?" Ukitake asked.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" The ladder crashed onto the ground—which was still concrete—the paint can had flown upward from the sudden thrust, it landed on the ground safely with all the paint still contained.

* * *

"…Hmm…somehow I think something's missing…" Renji muttered under his breath trying to focus on what it was.

"I'm getting that feeling too…" Ichigo started to wonder what it could be.

"It's pretty obvious once you take another look" Hitsugaya told them.

"Hey! Meditating here!" Ichigo barked at him.

"Hopefully you can clear your mind, not only so you can notice what's missing but the parade behind you too" Byakuya told him.

"I've got nothing" Renji sighed after 2 minutes worth of thinking.

"Same…what is it though?" Ichigo asked.

"Geez and they say I'm dense" Gin sighed.

"…Since when were you here?" Ichigo asked.

"…You invited me!" Gin told him.

"Oh yeah…"

"You called a poker night but you didn't bring any cards" Gin told them bored out of his mind.

"…It's not even night!" Renji realized looking out the…black windows.

"WHAT MORON PAINTED THE WINDOWS?!" Ichigo roared out to his entire division.

"Ano…taichou…you did that" One said nervously.

"...You didn't like the heat from the sunlight so you painted the windows to block it out" One reminded him.

"…I can so see how your IQ is 89" Hitsugaya told Ichigo.

Ichigo glared at Hitsugaya for his smartass remark. "Shut up would ya?"

* * *

"I'm a knife, fork, spoon, spatula! Cha, cha, cha…" Tori sang out boredly.

"…Well this is fun, the stairs are too unstable for us to climb up and the whole bottom floor we've already looked in" Mika sighed.

"For once I actually want a 'bang' thing to happen" Rangiku said hopefully.

Suddenly something in the house went 'bang'. It was more of a forceful slam of a door from the upstairs though.

"Wow my wishes were answered!" Rangiku said happily.

"Doesn't that mean that there's someone else other than us in here?" Momo asked slightly nervous.

Soft footsteps could be heard above them, they weren't rushed so they knew that the person was taking their sweet time scaring the hell outta them.

"…Can we leave?" Yachiru asked a little frightened.

"Oh screw this! Let's leave!!" Rukia and Tori yelled and darted towards the door.

"Oh come on! Not now of all times!!" Rukia groaned as she jiggled the doorknob.

"Don't tell me it's locked!" Rangiku said panicked.

"Okay then I won't tell you, I'll tell Rina" Rukia told her. "THE FRICKIN DOOR'S LOCKED!!! WHAT SHOULD WE DO?!!" Rukia screeched as she slammed her whole bodyweight against the door.

"Knock it down with a sledgehammer!" Rina told her.

"We don't have a sledgehammer" Tori told her. "Even I know that!"

"That's where **BLAM** comes in" Mika said pulling out a balloon hammer.

"Okay, this is all we have so give it your best Rukia!!" Hinamori cheered her on.

"HIIIYAAAAH!!!!!" Rukia slammed BLAM onto the door with immense force—nothing happened.

"WE'RE DOOMED!!" Rangiku wailed.

"Oh shut up, we still have the windows!" Rina told her.

"HHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAA!!!" Rukia slammed BLAM on the windows with everything she had; nothing happened.

"Okay now we're doomed" Rina concluded.

"NO!!! WHY DOES EVERYTHING BAD HAPPEN TO THE GOOD?!" Rangiku asked the world.

* * *

"…My BLAM senses are tingling" Gin muttered quietly.

"What?" Ichigo asked.

"…Somebody just used BLAM?!" Renji asked slightly freaked out.

"Can't you feel it?" Gin asked.

"Oh yeah I feel it, somebody's in trouble!" He said standing up.

"Well let's go then!" Gin said standing up.

"To where?" Byakuya asked.

"…Good question" Renji and Gin said in unison and sat back down.

"I still have the feeling that something is missing…" Hitsugaya said out loud.

"You mean other than Ichigo forgetting the dip for the chips?" Renji asked shooting a menacing glare at Ichigo who cowered behind his bubble. "How can you have chips without dip?!" He asked.

"No, it's something else…not related to this current event" Hitsugaya continued on.

"Hmmm…" Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and started to ponder on what was missing.

* * *

"VOILA!" Urahara said after 4 hours of hard work redesigning the division.

"Wow" Ukitake and Kyouraku said in surprise from the new room.

"This is like _From the Ground Up_ with Urahara Kisuke" Kyouraku commented.

"How much did this cost you?" Ukitake asked curiously.

"Oh we just stretched the budget a bit, it's no big deal!" Urahara said assuring the other two.

"You probably put Seireitei in bankruptcy since it wouldn't affect you at all" Ukitake muttered.

"Hey Nemu, have you seen Yachiru anywhere today?" Ise asked as she walked past the division.

"Not at all" Nemu replied.

"That's strange…"

* * *

"Hey have you seen Mika anywhere Renji?" Hisagi asked the poker night (but actually day) group who looked as if they had entered a state of Nirvana.

"Nope" He replied.

"Rangiku?" Hisagi asked Gin.

"I barely get to see anyone!" Gin replied.

"…Hinamori or Tori?" Hisagi asked Hitsugaya. "Hey that rhymes!"

"Not since last night" Hitsugaya replied.

"Rina?" Hisagi asked Byakuya.

"Haven't seen her today."

"Rukia?" Hisagi asked Ichigo.

"Nope"

"So you have no clue on where you fiancée is?" Hisagi asked.

"That's right!"

"Hmm…" Hisagi left the group and went off to ask more people.

"…God is there actually anything missing?!" Ichigo asked clueless.


	17. Haunted House Experience 2

"Okay when that thing comes down, we shoot 'em dead with our kidou and our zanpakutous!" Rangiku plotted as she and the others spread out on ground level waiting for whoever was upstairs to get their butt down.

"…This is gonna take awhile" Mika sighed.

"No kidding" Rina agreed.

"Anytime now" Rangiku said eager to give the 'thing' a piece of her mind.

"…Is this actually a haunted house?" Rukia asked Mika.

"…That's what Renji told me!" Mika replied.

"…Rule Number 1: NEVER EVER LISTEN TO RENJI!!!" Rukia told Mika.

"Why?" Mika asked.

"Did I ever tell you the story of how I let him take charge when we were still in Rukongai?" Rukia asked.

"No"

"Well then, you better listen up!"

* * *

"OH MY GOD!!!" Hitsugaya shouted out realizing what exactly was missing. "I can't believe we were so stupid!!" He cried out.

"…Uh…what?" Ichigo asked still clueless.

"I'll put it in terms that even you can understand" Hitsugaya said impatient. "Where is Rukia?" He asked him.

"I dunno, didn't see her since way early in the morning" Ichigo shrugged.

"Isn't she normally by your side though?" Hitsugaya questioned.

"I guess"

"Right, so out of the blue she decides to ditch you?"

"…What?! I proposed and everything!"

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!!!!"

"God even I figured it out!!" Renji thwacked Ichigo on the side of his head. "The girls are gone!"

"…I knew that! I was just acting…"

"Whatever, we have to get them. Knowing them they've probably done something really stupid" Hitsugaya sighed.

* * *

"This is really stupid Rangiku!" Rina groaned bored from sitting on the floor for a near 15 minutes.

"Any second now!" Rangiku said determined to attack whoever was still upstairs.

"That's it I'm calling the guys" Rukia sighed, taking out her phone.

"Where's the fun in that?" Rangiku asked.

"Well we're getting nowhere here so what's the point of staying here?" Rukia asked waiting for someone to pick up the phone.

"Yachiru, can you get mad so your pink kitty cat reiatsu can knock down the door?" Tori asked.

"…I need someone to get me mad though" She said.

"…Someone piss her off!" Mika told the group.

"That's not gonna be easy" Rina sighed. "Everything is fun and games for her"

"Is anybody picking up?" Hinamori asked Rukia.

"No, what the hell are they doing?!" Rukia wondered.

* * *

"Why in the world would they be in the forest out of all places?" Gin questioned curiously as he and the other male captains were on a nature hike in the forests.

"We're talking about weird females here, always look in the least expected places" Renji replied.

"The first thing that comes to mind of 'least expected places' is a dumpster" Gin thought out loud.

"The** DUMPSTER**!!"

* * *

"Well we might as well sit here for the whole time" Rukia sighed hanging up after waiting for over a minute.

"Call Urahara" Mika told her.

"Why?"

"I dunno I just want to ask him something" Mika replied.

"…Ok…"

"Hey Urahara, Mika wants to talk to you, kay?" Rukia handed the phone over to Mika.

"Can a brother and sister marry?" Mika asked.

_"…Uh…say what?"_ Urahara asked confused.

"Well think about it, if the first people on Earth had kids, wouldn't the children have to marry each other?" Mika asked.

_"…You're talking to the wrong guy Mika!"_ Urahara said backing out of the subject.

"…Hey it's not as bad as Yachiru asking all of Seireitei where babies come from!!" Mika retorted.

_"She actually asked that?" _Urahara laughed. _"Tell me everything!"_

"Ok well it started out when…"

* * *

"Congwaduladuns, you're a bro dumbsder diber" Gin said with his nose pinched.

"I didn't step a foot in it, I just looked inside" Ichigo told him.

"Oh…well let's go somewhere else other than the garbage!" Gin said and set off in a random direction.

"Hey look, a pile of wood!" Gin pointed at a hilltop where some structure was.

"That's the haunted house" Renji said a little frightened.

"Come on, what's there to be afraid of, ghosts?" Ichigo asked.

"I don't believe in ghosts" Renji said.

Everyone went silent.

"…We're technically ghosts you morons!" Byakuya told them.

"…Oh yeah…"

"Well let's head over there, who knows, they might be there" Hitsugaya decided.

* * *

_"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!"_ Urahara laughed uncontrollably from the story Mika had just told him. _"Oh you poor things!"_ He said but burst out laughing once more shortly after his short-lived empathy.

"It's coming down now!" Rangiku cheered hearing the floors above them creak from weight.

"Oh joy after _only_ 30 minutes" Rukia said boredly.

"I can't stand up" Yachiru said bleakly.

"Why not?" Rangiku asked.

"My BUTT'S numb!" She whined.

"TOO MUCH INFORMATION THERE YACHIRU!!" Rangiku yelled shielding her ears.

Tori started to strike BLAM up and down on the floor from sheer boredom. Elsewhere, not far from the house, Gin and Renji got a disturbing feeling coming from that house.

* * *

"My BLAM senses are directing me towards that pile of wood." Renji said.

"Yeah mine too" Gin said as well.

"…What's BLAM?" Ichigo asked.

"No idea" Both Byakuya and Hitsugaya replied.

* * *

The stairs creaked as the weight from the being approached the staircase.

"Get ready guys!" Rangiku warned them.

"Don't have to tell us twice!" Hinamori said back.

* * *

"You should really consider carpeting you know sou-taichou-san!" Urahara said as he observed 1st Division's office flooring.

"…Since when did you become an interior designer?" Yamamoto asked.

"…Oh I haven't, I just like messing up homes!" Urahara said cheerfully.

"…You know you're the second person to say that to me"

"Really? Who was the first?"

"A bunch of contractors that barged in suddenly one day"

"…And you say I'm weird"

"…Have you completed Mayuri's experiment?" Yamamoto switched the subject.

"Nope and I'm proud of it!"

"…He wants it finished by next week" Yamamoto warned him. "You do remember his temper don't you?"

"Oh yeah, best day of my life to be nearly sliced and diced from a crazed maniac" Urahara said sarcastically.

"Just go"

* * *

"…Uh I think it's not gonna come…" Yachiru said quietly once the creaking had stopped for over 5 minutes.

"HEY YOU MORON GET YER SORRY BUTT DOWN HERE!!!" Rangiku yelled up angrily to whatever was up there.

"Rangiku!!" Rukia scolded her as she continued yelling out curses and such.

Suddenly the door behind them swung open and the bright light from outside seeped in.

"It's that light!!" Tori exclaimed.

"Whatever you do don't go into it!!" Yachiru told them.

"OH MY GOD!!!" Rangiku yelled and shot a kidou blast out the door.

"What the hell was that for?!" Renji asked nearly getting burnt to a crisp.

"OH MY GOD SATAN!!" Rangiku screamed and kept firing shots.

"Rangiku stop it!!!" Hinamori pleaded as she placed a bakudou spell onto Rangiku, thus restraining her.

"Do I really look like Satan?" Renji asked Mika.

"No!" Mika replied appalled by Rangiku's observation.

"So why were you guys here?" Ichigo asked looking around the house.

"…Haunted house experience, couldn't pass up on it!" Rukia answered.

"…Is it really haunted?" Hitsugaya asked.

"I KNEW IT THERE ARE GHOSTS IN HERE!!!" Renji yelled out triumphantly.

"What are you talking about?" Hitsugaya asked.

"Well, we're practically ghosts right?" Renji asked.

"Yeah"

"Well they were stuck here and they can be considered ghosts so ha!" Renji proved his point.

"…That has to be the smartest thing you've said since…well I dunno when" Byakuya commented on Renji's achievement.

"Well let's get outta this dump, it reeks!" Ichigo said helping Rukia up onto her feet.

"How dare you say that about my house!" A voice said quite offended.

"What the--?!" Everybody looked back into the house to see a nostalgic face.

"Iba?" Everyone exclaimed.

"This is your house?" Renji asked surprised.

"I thought you lived in your mom's basement!" Rangiku said also surprised.

"…You have anything against my summer home?" Iba asked.

"Summer hom—wait a minute, then shouldn't you be in there instead of here?" Ichigo asked.

"I was just checking up on it, after all it's only 100 a month"

"_Welfare home_" Tori, Mika, and Rina said quietly and discreetly in a cough.

"So that's why you weren't at work!" Renji figured out.

"Wait, what day is it?" Iba asked.

"Friday" Ichigo replied.

"...I thought it was Sunday!" He said surprised.

"And you say _I'm_ stupid?" Ichigo asked Hitsugaya.

"Put a sock in it" Hitsugaya said pushing Ichigo away.

"So was it only you that was upstairs?" Hinamori asked curiously.

"Nah, my pet was up there too"

"…You have a pet?" Tori asked.

"What is it?" Renji asked.

"A chupacabra"

"…hehehehehehe…let's go!" And with that, the group ditched Iba at his personal pile of wood…also known as a house.


	18. Going Back

"WE'RE GOING TO THE REAL WORLD, WE'RE GONNA GO TO THE REAL WORLD!!" Tori sang and danced around the room happily ever since Rukia invited her and a couple other people to go to the real world to make a visit with some old friends.

"So are we, but you don't see us dancing around like a crazed crack addict!" Rina said walking into the room to see a dancing and singing monkey, almost like a street performer but not on a street.

"Geez you know how to ruin someone's fun!" Tori pouted and stopped dancing around at sat back onto the couch.

"…It's what I'm natural at, you should know that by now" Rina said walking to a couch.

"Byakuya! Your girlfriend's mean!" Tori whined to Byakuya.

"What do you want me to do about it?" He asked smartly.

"…Why are you smart people teaming up against me? Shiro-chan!!!" Tori complained.

"…So now you're calling me dumb?" Hitsugaya asked. "…And here everyone called me a genius! I've been living a lie!" He yelled out sarcastically.

"Ok fine shut up!" Tori pouted.

"Ah it's okay it's about time we headed down there again" Hitsugaya said patting Tori on the back.

"Besides, I think it's about time Isshin gets the news" Mika piped up.

"Oh I can't wait to see his reaction!" Rukia said cheerfully.

"I can!" Ichigo spoke up. "He'll be all teary-eyed and be like 'the oldest one has left the nest Masaki!!! I'm losing my kids now!! I'm getting old!!' Now I know that you guys don't know him but that has to be the most** _perfect_** impression of him!" Ichigo told them.

"Sounds like a crackpot like us" Mika commented.

"Oh yeah he is!" Rukia agreed. "Except that you guys are 10 times more normal than he is!"

"…I had no idea that was possible!" Rina exclaimed.

"Yeah wait until you try coffee!" Renji told them.

"Been there done that" Mika, Tori and Rina said in unison.

"What--?? Since when?" Ichigo asked.

"…Remember when we went to Hueco Land to see Ai-Ai?" Mika asked.

"I thought he gave you guys Vodka" Ichigo stated.

"Yeah that too, do you know how much alcohol he has down there? He could have a bar down there!" Tori informed him.

"What?! How come you didn't tell me that?!" Rangiku asked Gin and punched him in the arm.

"Ow…you never asked" Gin replied.

"Oh yeah…why are you guys here?" Hitsugaya asked Rangiku and Gin.

"…You guys invited us!" Rangiku told him.

"…Who did?" Hitsugaya asked the group.

"Guilty as charged!" The females said as they raised their hands.

"Well you guys ready?" Ichigo asked.

"Yeah it's only for practically a day" Renji said getting up.

"Hnh! Rukia can you help me out here?" Ichigo asked as he heaved up a box of stuff that seemed to weigh a ton.

"We're only there for a day? What'd you pack, your whole division?!" Rukia asked.

"Only the essentials!" Ichigo told her as he tried to walk out of the room without walking into someone or something.

"Like your teddy bears?" Rukia asked smoothly.

"And you call yourself a man?" Gin asked.

"Well at least I don't have a rubber ducky!" Ichigo retorted.

"Hey that's an offense!" Practically everyone in the room yelled out offended.

"You're kidding right?" Ichigo asked surprised.

"What person doesn't have a rubber ducky?" Rukia asked.

"Can we get a move on?!" Ichigo asked looking up at the clock.

"Get me a souvenir!" Urahara said as the group stepped into the doors.

"…You own a shop we're not getting you anything!" Renji shouted out to him.

"Aww…" Urahara dropped his head down in dismay.

"At least get _me_ something!" Kyouraku said taking all of Urahara's pride away.

"Will do!" Rangiku called out.

"YES!!!"

* * *

"AH!! Jinta-kun! Don't do it!!" Both Yuzu and Ururu pleaded Jinta from doing a dangerous stunt.

"Karin-chan, stop him!" Yuzu begged towards her sister.

"I don't even know him, why should I?" Karin asked boredly.

"Because then dad will get mad!!" Yuzu pleaded nearly in tears.

"Dad doesn't pay attention to us at all, he didn't notice that Ichigo left until a week later!"

"How can you say such a cruel thing Karin?" Yuzu asked.

Suddenly they heard a loud crash from where Ichigo's room was, shortly after that there was a lot of yelling.

"...Hey I didn't know there'd be a hell lot of crap in my room; you can't blame me for that!"

"Well you could've at least cleaned up before you left!!"

"I was sure I did! This is probably Kon's doing!"

"Where is he anyway?"

"I dunno, but who cares"

The door that opened up to Ichigo's former room opened up letting Karin, Yuzu, Jinta and Ururu to see the orange-haired male again.

"Onii-chan!!" Yuzu said as her face lit up. She went up and hugged him full of joy.

"Aww…how cute!" Rukia and the others cooed from the sight of sibling love.

"If there weren't little kids here I'd pulverize you!" Ichigo threatened towards them through clenched teeth. "Oi, Karin where's dad?" Ichigo asked.

"Dad's out, he didn't say where he was going" Karin said.

"Well we might as well head downstairs" Ichigo sighed and motioned his friends down.

"Are you going to ride a bike down the stairs?" Renji asked Jinta curiously.

"What does it look like isoro-dono?" Jinta asked smirking.

"Well let's see it then if you're so tough!" Renji dared him.

"Okay then," Jinta said prepping himself.

"We'll head down first, then you can ride into a wall" Ichigo decided, the rest followed suit.

"Shouldn't you guys stop him?" Yuzu asked concerned about Jinta.

"Nah he'll be fine!" The group assured him.

"Oh…" Yuzu covered her eyes as she couldn't watch.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEE—HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Jinta whooped as he successfully rode the bike down the stairs. Unfortunately for him he hadn't stopped the bike all the way so of course, he slammed into the wall.

"What is going on in here?!" Isshin asked as he entered his home that was currently occupied by a huge group of people. His eyes saw Jinta lay sprawled on the ground with his bike nearby.

"We tried to stop him! But he wouldn't listen!" Everyone in house shouted out and pointed at Jinta's body.

"Besides he had a helmet, he's fine" Ichigo assured him.

"Oh hi Ichigo, when did you get here?" Isshin asked confused.

"…I was here ever since you stepped foot in here!" Ichigo told him.

"RUKIA-CHAN!!! It's so nice to see you again!!" Isshin said happily completely ignoring Ichigo.

"Same with you" Rukia said happily back while Ichigo sulked in a corner under his cloud of despair.

"And who might these guys be?" Isshin asked the rest.

"These is Ichimaru Gin, he was an ally of Aizen to…well I forget what but that's a thing of the past" Ichigo said as he introduced Gin to Isshin. "This guy is Renji, he's my bestest buddy in the whole empire wood" Ichigo said. "Wait, what?" Ichigo said looking down at a card.

"It says 'my bestest buddy in the whole ENTIRE WORLD'!!!" Rukia told him as she had personally wrote out that card in case there was some sort of situation where he'd have to introduce people.

"Yeah what she said"

"That was so cheap" Tori said.

"No kidding, everyone knows your guys' arguments!" Mika added on.

"You guys argue more than a married couple!" Rina told him.

"Yeah these 3 are complete weirdoes, just like you so there's no need for me to introduce them to you" Ichigo said earning death glares.

"I remember you guys!" Isshin said remembering something. "You guys subdued Aizen with those instructions from his weird books from the author: _I.M. Uglee_!" Isshin realized.

"Yeah that's us!" Mika said happily.

"At least someone acknowledges us!" Tori said hoping that some certain people would get the clue.

"Okay moving on, this is Rukia as you already know, this is Rangiku a friend of hers, a complete alcoholic; and these guys here are Hitsugaya Toshiro—don't call him short or he'll murder you…actually scratch that; and this is Rukia's older brother, Kuchiki Byakuya" Ichigo concluded.

"Wow, I never knew Ichigo could make more friends" Isshin said appalled.

"Technically he, Renji and Byakuya aren't on good terms yet" Rina piped up.

"Oh really, and why is that?" Isshin wondered.

"Ichigo and Renji have numerous lovers spats which is completely normal for two baboons but why Byakuya hates him is why we're here" Rangiku told him.

"Don't you mean buffoons?" Hitsugaya asked.

"…I could"

"So shall we sit down and talk this out?" Rukia asked.

"Excellent idea!" Isshin said.

"Karin, Yuzu! Get tea for our guests please!" Isshin called to them.

"Kay!"

"So what is it that you guys want to tell me?" Isshin asked.

"Well," Ichigo started. "I'm not sure if you know this but you will now. Rukia and I have been dating for awhile now and we feel that it's the time to…" Ichigo stopped awaiting any response from his father.

"Continue…" Isshin said sticking to Ichigo's words.

"We're getting married" Ichigo finished.

"…" Isshin was speechless.

"Dad?" Ichigo asked slightly concerned about his father's wellbeing.

"**OH MY GOODNESS**!!" Isshin yelled out completely surprised.

"Now I know this isn't what you were expecting but just take a deep breath and let it sink in" Rukia instructed him hoping he wouldn't start jumping for joy or explode.

"The oldest one has left the nest Masaki!!! I'm losing my kids now!! I'm getting old!!" Isshin cried as he hugged his poster of his wife that was still on the wall.

"I told you guys that, that was a perfect impression!" Ichigo told the group.

"Here you guys go" Yuzu said handing each one of them a cup of tea. "Dad?" She asked confused at her father's actions.

"Rukia and Ichigo are getting married!!!" Isshin shouted out gleefully and started dancing around the room happily.

"So who's the 'crazed crack addict'?" Tori asked Rina.

"Well…you are" Rina replied. "Isshin's a crazed, demented, crack and pot addict" Rina continued on.

"Uh, Yuzu do you think that you, Karin, Ururu and that brat could all go outside and play for awhile?" Ichigo asked his sister.

"Okay!" She said and forcibly pushed the other 3 out.

"Dad we have something else we want to tell you" Ichigo said.

"What is it?" Isshin asked in a sing-song voice still prancing around.

"He scares me!" Rina and Mika said hushed.

"First of all, your dancing is scary and creeping us out, second, you hafta sit down, third, Kon needs to be here to hear this" Ichigo said.

"Kon?" Some people asked.

"He's a _kaizou konpaku_ in a lion plushy" Rukia explained.

"Okay, KON GET YOUR SORRY BUTT IN HERE!!" Isshin yelled out.

"What do you want?" Kon asked grumpily running in…in a…

"What the hell happened to you?" Ichigo asked.

"K-Kon...? What the hell happened to you?" Rukia asked surprised as she saw the lion plushy trot in, in a French-maid outfit.

"Nee-san!!" Kon said happily and leaped up to hug her.

"Hands off my wife you dirty lion" Ichigo said slapping Kon away from Rukia.

"WHAT THE HELL--?!!" Kon gasped as the news sunk in. "You're joking right?" Kon asked.

"No he's telling the truth, we're getting married" Rukia told him.

"U…u…u…" Kon started to cry. "Everybody is leaving me!!" He cried and beat the ground with his paws.

"Aww…don't worry Kon someday you'll meet another plushy" Tori comforted him.

"Hey shouldn't you let your other friends know of this too?" Renji asked.

"…I'll tell em when I see em" Ichigo said confidently.

"Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime called out cheerfully as she, Chad, Ishida, Keigo, Mizuiro and Tatsuki entered the household.

"We heard you were here and so, we decided to drop by" Ishida told him.

"…Are you guys having a party?" Keigo asked. "**WITHOUT ME?!**" He wailed feeling completely excluded from the so called party.

"Oh shut up would you?" Mizuiro asked.

"Ichigo has something to tell you guys!" Rangiku shouted out at them.

"Eh?" Everyone looked at Ichigo.

"…Did I ever mention that I'm claustrophobic?" He asked nervously.

"Well Ichigo?" Tatsuki asked.

"Well you see um…" Ichigo stammered.

"You told your dad easily, why can't you tell your friends?" Gin asked.

"Oh for the love of Chappy!" Rukia said quietly. "We're getting MARRIED!!" Rukia blurted out the news to their friends.

"…" Everyone was in shock basically; no one said a single word at all.

"M-m-m-m-married?" Keigo asked breaking the silence. "B-b-b-b-but you guys are s-s-s-s-so y-young!" He stuttered.

"You're getting married?" Orihime asked excitedly. "Can I come?" She asked.

"Of course you can, you all are!" Renji said just to pick on Ichigo.

"Wah!! This is so exciting!!" Orihime cried out happily.

"Oh by the way Ichigo, Don Kanonji is outside your house" Tatsuki informed him.

"…If he asks, I'm in Moosejaw!" Ichigo said as he ran into the broom closet and locked himself in there.

"**BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!**" Don Kanonji laughed out his trademark…laugh…thing… "**MAY THE SPIRITS ALWAYS BE WITH YOU!!**" He shouted out charging into the household.

"Who's the weirdo in the funny hat?" Rangiku asked kinda freaked out.

"What the hell is he doing?" Hitsugaya asked as Don Kanonji pranced around laughing, and shouting out words of randomness.

"What's this?" He asked all the sudden and leaned to one side. "I feel a very huge, tremendous aura coming from there!" He pointed at where the shinigami (in gigai) were sitting.

"…hehe…funny you should mention that" Gin laughed nervously as he and his other friends tried to 'disappear' from Don Kanonji's view.

"Is my Number 1 disciple here?" He asked looking around.

"Who?" Mika asked.

"Ichigo of course!"

"He's in Moosejaw, last I heard" Hitsugaya said.

"Moosejaw? As in Saskatchewan, Canada?" He asked.

"Uh…sure…is that where Moosejaw is?" Renji asked.

"It's in Canada, I know that for sure" Rina answered.

"Aw shucks," Don Kanonji said disappointed. "Well then there's only one thing to do…GO TO MOOSEJAW!!" He declared and ran back to his limo.

"Phew, I was running out of air in there" Ichigo sighed in relief as he stepped out of the closet.

"Well we better be going now" Tatsuki said.

"Yeah we have to get back to our jobs, our break is only for 30 minutes and we spent 17 here" Ishida said.

"…Wow…and here I thought you guys would be failures…when I say 'you guys' I mean Asano" Ichigo muttered.

"Bye!"

"Okay so what was the big news you wanted to tell me?" Isshin asked.

Ichigo and Rukia looked at each other happily and they both yelled out.

"WE'RE PREGNANT!!!"

"PPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT!!!" All the shinigami spit out their drinks and stared at the couple in surprise.

"You're pregnant?!" They repeated just as shocked as before.


	19. An Ordinary Day

"Rukia, you're pregnant?" Rangiku asked once more.

"Mm-hm!" Rukia nodded quite happily.

"Could you excuse us for one minute?" Rina asked as she and the other females dragged Rukia upstairs into Ichigo's former bedroom.

* * *

"How could you get Rukia pregnant?!" Renji asked Ichigo.

"Now I know this is new and all but…" Ichigo couldn't continue as the captains stood up and glared down at him. "…Is this a bad time to say that Rukia's been pregnant for nearly a month?" He asked nervously.

"Marriage was one thing, but getting her pregnant is another" Byakuya said in a very deathly tone.

"…I was prepared for this" Ichigo muttered. He grabbed a pot, stuck it on his head, ran to the kitchen and grabbed the kitchen knife and went into a fighting stance. "Come and get me!" He dared.

"…What the hell are you doing boy?" Isshin asked his son that was wielding a plastic knife and had on a pot on his head.

* * *

"I can't believe you're pregnant!" Rangiku squealed.

"Do you know if it's a boy or girl?" Tori asked.

"Actually, a psychic told me it's actually twins" Rukia admitted quietly.

"TWINS?!" The girls squealed.

"SHHHH!!! Ichigo doesn't know yet, he thinks it's only one kid" Rukia shushed. "...Well then again...I did get it from a psychic so what do I know?"

"Okay well I'm guessing Ichigo's getting bitched at right now, so what's the theme of the wedding going to be?" Rina asked.

"Yeah are you going to have it a traditional marriage or the modern way?" Rangiku asked.

"Well I was thinking traditional but I was also thinking of having it here on Earth so I'm going with modern" Rukia decided.

"Okay so what's the theme going to be?" Rangiku asked excited.

"Bunnies, and the occasional strawberry" She said beaming.

"Good choice!"

* * *

"Well I guess we're going to have to stay for at least one more day" Hitsugaya sighed once the group was downstairs again.

"How considerate of you taichou!" Rangiku said out loud. "Who's up for a shopping spree?" She asked the group.

"I'll pass, not a fan of shopping" Rina said.

"What?!" Rangiku asked. "Oh I **_WILL_** handcuff you to me and I **_WILL_** drag you around town and you **_WILL_** like it!" She threatened determined.

"…Um…okay?" Rina squeaked slightly terrified at her reaction. "You'll bail me out right?" Rina asked Byakuya once Rangiku gave a distance of 2 meters.

"If you say so" He answered.

"Oh you better!" Rina threatened.

"Any of you taichou's gonna come with us?" Rangiku asked.

"There is no way in hell we're gonna go shopping with you guys!" Renji said.

"OH I **_WILL_** MAKE YOU GUYS!! I **_WILL_**—

"—handcuff us to you…blah, blah, blah and you will drag us around town" Hitsugaya finished off Rangiku's threats.

"Exactly! Now if you are even thinking of seeing daylight again, then come shopping with us!"

"All you guys have to do is hold the stuff we buy" Rukia told them.

"Hey what's that?" Ichigo asked pointing at the opposite direction from them.

"Huh?" They flipped their heads over to the direction.

"There's nothing there" Mika said turning her head back to see no one.

"DITCHERS!!!!"

* * *

"Wow that was close" Renji said as he took a breath of air in.

"No kidding" Ichigo said as he looked out from the bushes making sure the shopping fanatics weren't hunting them down.

"Rina, you're a girl" Renji started.

"…How observant of you" She commented sarcastically.

"Yeah well, don't all girls like shopping?" Renji asked.

"Some do, some don't, end of story" Rina told him.

"Uh…okay…now what?" Ichigo asked with a blank mind.

Suddenly Rina's phone rang, she picked it up and found out she was talking to a desperate Mika and Tori.

"**RINA!!! HELP US!!**" They yelled through the phone. "**RANGIKU IS SO DETERMINED TO GO SHOPPIN IN EVERY PLACE IN KARAKURA TOWN!!! YOU HAVE TO HELP US, OR GET SOMEONE TO CUZ SHE'S GONNA RIP OUR ARMS OFF!!!**"

Rina was momentarily deaf from the sudden shout-out.

"Okay, first…do you know how far away a person holds a phone from their ear?" She questioned them.

"Very close" Mika answered.

"Exactly, so** DON'T YOU THINK YOU GUYS WENT OVERBOARD?!**" She yelled through the phone.

"**HEY THE PHONE ISN'T FAR FROM OUR EARS YA KNOW!!**" Tori told her.

"That's my point, second…" Rina trailed off giving off a long pause.

"…uh…are you there?" Mika asked curiously.

"Good luck!" Rina said and hung up immediately.

"WHAT!?!" Tori and Mika shouted at their phone in shock.

* * *

"Okay time to go to the next one!" Rangiku said enthusiastically and dragged the two terrified shinigami with her.

"HEY LOOK!!" Both Mika and Tori pointed to the opposite direction from them.

"HAHA very funny, it's not going to work this time!" Rangiku said back to them.

"HEY LOOK GIN!!" Mika and Tori tried once more.

"WHAT?!" Rangiku looked into that direction thinking that Gin was there, but of course he wasn't. While Rangiku was looking for Gin, Rukia, Tori and Mika had made a run for it.

"DITCHERS!!!" Rangiku yelled out once she realized that she had been ditched. "Wow…Déjà vu!"

* * *

Tori, Mika and Rukia had split up unconsciously and now were wondering where everyone was.

"ICHIGO!" Rukia called out when she saw her fiancé.

"Rukia? I thought you were with the shop-a-holic" Ichigo said slightly confused.

"I escaped her" She said.

"Oh okay…so…" Both stood in silence.

An ice cream truck passed by with 'Pop Goes the Weasel' ringing repeatedly.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Ichigo asked Rukia wide-eyed.

"Yeah!" Both of them ran towards the truck, hunting it down like rabid dogs.

The ice cream truck sped faster than most, its wheels screeched against the pavement as it made a sharp turn to the right. Rukia and Ichigo still followed it, determined to get ice cream.

"Was that--?" Rina asked as she witnessed 2 people hungrily chase a poor innocent ice cream truck. "…Ichigo and Rukia?"

"I hope not" Byakuya said hoping that the 2 figures weren't part of his family.

"So like I was saying, if we see Rangiku we pretend we don't know her" Rina said continuing to balance on the fencing on the side of the sidewalk.

"And what if she calls to us?" Byakuya asks.

"Ignore her" Rina said walking on the fence.

"What if she runs over to us?" Byakuya asked making sure Rina didn't fall from her 'creativity'.

"We…'re screwed" Rina said. "Never thought of that coming…"

"Well guess what?" Byakuya asked.

"What?"

"She's waving over to us" He told her.

"Pretend you don't know her then!" Rina said avoiding looking at Rangiku.

"Now she's crossing the road to come over here" He said.

"…Okay, screw it let's leave!" Rina said as she and Byakuya dashed around a corner and away.

"Gin they're not here!" Rangiku whined to Gin who decided to hang out with Rangiku.

"Funny, I thought I saw them here…" He scratched his head.

* * *

"WOW" Tori gasped as she gazed at the candy shop. Even though she was only looking through the window she felt as if she were in heaven.

"Just get what you want and let's go" Hitsugaya said irritated.

"I think I'll buy everything" She said in awe.

"Okay fine, just get it and let's go!" He grumbled.

"Wow they even have watermelon flavored candy!" She said still dazed.

"LEMME SEE!!" He said and looked through the window intently. "COME ON!" He said and dragged Tori in.

"Can I help you with anything?" The elderly woman behind the counter asked.

"Well we're just buying things" Tori said almost unable to stop herself from devouring everything.

"And we're also hiding from someone" Hitsugaya added.

"And oh no, she's coming!" Tori said seeing Rangiku on the other side of the street.

"I could let you guys out the back if you want" The lady offered as Tori and Hitsugaya paid.

"Thanks!" They thanked her and ran out the back before Rangiku spotted them.

Right after Hitsugaya and Tori had ran out frantically, Rangiku and Gin entered the shop and peered around the place.

"Can I help you with something?" The woman asked them.

"Did you happen to see two short kids, one with white hair and one with black?" Rangiku asked.

"No, not at all" She answered.

"Huh…funny I was pretty sure I saw them here…" Gin muttered.

"You **really** need to get your eyes checked!" Rangiku told Gin as they left the shop.

* * *

"Mika, what are you doing?" Renji asked as Mika was busy conversing with a person in a wheelchair.

"Oh come on! Are you saying you've forgotten already?" Mika asked.

"Uh…say what?"

"Remember when you were in your wheelchair?" Mika asked.

"Yeah..."

"Well remember when we raced down the hill?" She asked.

"Yes! I had to stay 2 more weeks in 4th Division thanks to you!" He remembered.

"Okay he remembers, mind if we demonstrate what happened?" Mika asked the kid.

"Uh no…" The kid answered and he (with the help of his friends) got out of his wheelchair.

"ALRIGHTY!!" Mika cheered. She grabbed Renji and sat him down in the wheelchair.

"Mika what are you doing?" Renji asked frightened looking down at a very steep hill.

"OKAY!!" Mika sat on Renji's lap.

"Oh no!! Not again!!" He groaned.

"Attention lady and gentleman, we will be descending in 30 seconds, please keep your arms and legs inside at all times, emergency exits are nowhere!" Mika readied herself, grabbing the rims of the wheels ready to propel both she and Renji down the hill. "READY, SET…" Mika said excited. "LIFT OFF!!!" She pushed hard on the wheels and down they went!!

"AAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH MIKA WHY DO YOU TORTURE ME?!" Renji screamed from the sudden rush.

"WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" Mika squealed happily.

Once the wheelchair came to a slow stop, Mika waved up to the kids who were up top on the hill.

"SEE IT'S FUN!!" She told them.

"Mika!" Renji gasped, one hand clutching his heart the other clutching the armrest very tightly.

"Yesh?!" Mika asked still excited from the experience.

"Please…don't…do…that again!!" Renji said taking in deep breaths.

"Well at least we didn't hit a rock this time!" Mika said. "Remember, when we stumbled over a rock and we went boom?" Mika asked.

"That's what got me into 4th Division for 2 more weeks" He said reminding her.

"Oh yeah…"

Mika and Renji returned the wheelchair to the rightful owner once Renji had calmed down from his amusement park ride. They walked around aimlessly, nearly getting hit by an ice cream truck that was obviously going over the speed limit and nearly got caught by Gin and Rangiku.

"I swear I saw them right here!" Gin said looking around for Mika and Renji.

"You **REALLY** need to get your eyes checked!" Rangiku told him.

* * *

"Yes dinner!!" Ichigo said gobbling everything down.

"Wow this is good, who cooked?" Rukia asked.

"Dad's French maid" Ichigo answered stuffing more food into his mouth.

"Kon?" Rukia asked appalled.

"That's what he said"

"It's true" Karin spoke up.

"Wow" Rukia said still surprised. "If he weren't a perv, I'd take him with us" Rukia said.

"Hey Kon!" Ichigo called out once Kon came out of the kitchen. "This is pretty good; I'm amazed that a plushy could do this!" Ichigo complimented him.

"It wasn't _just_ all me!" Kon said blushing slightly (yes plushies can blush). "Ririn, Claude, and Nova helped out too" He said pointing to the trio coming out of the kitchen.

"…That is so cool!" Tori exclaimed.

"Can we have one?" Rangiku asked Hitsugaya.

"What am I? Your dad?" He asked her paranoid.

"Well if we have a kaizou konpaku, it will be so much easier around the office!" She pointed out.

"True, it would probably do more work than you, and a better job" He muttered.

"HEY!" Rangiku shouted out offended.

"Well I'm gonna see Inoue and Tatsuki tomorrow, they said that they're volunteering at some place for the homeless" Ichigo said still stuffing his mouth. Rukia slapped his hand as he was reaching over to grab more food.

"It's rude to talk with your mouth full!" She scolded.

"Whatever, so…" Ichigo swallowed. "Anyone wanna come with me?" He asked.

"Sure!" Most answered cheerfully.

"Well…" Rina started looking innocently at the ceiling.

"Oh come on!" Tori said and slapped her on her back. "You never wanna do anything!" She whined.

"Well Rukia and I are gonna stock up the fridge…thanks to some _somebody's_!!!" Rina said hinting over to the captains who had emptied the fridge out in less than 10 minutes.

"Oh what a sad, sad story!" Rangiku wailed sarcastically. "If only it ended in something like, "I ditched my friend and went off to do my own selfish things" She moaned in a very sarcastic tone.

"Are you still down that we left you alone on your date?" Rukia asked.

"It WASN'T a date!!" She protested.

"It sure seemed like it" Ichigo said leaning back in his chair, tipping it back onto its rear legs.

"Well at least I didn't spend the whole day hunting down an ice cream truck" Rangiku smirked.

"It was necessary!" Rukia fought back. "…especially when you can get a popsicle for only $1.00!!!" Rukia pointed out.

"She has a point there" Mika said.

"Well guess what, you can spend the day with us and we WON'T ditch you, well most of us won't since we're visiting friends!" Ichigo said tipping his chair back further. The only reason why he didn't fall was that his feet were hooked under the table to prevent him from falling…but that didn't work very well…

"DESSERT TIME!!" Isshin sang out happily as he grabbed the tablecloth, pulled on in it harshly and cleared the dining table in a matter of seconds. The dishes somehow found their way to the dishwasher. Right in the center of the table was a huge, decorated cake; everyone stared at it in confusion.

"What's the occasion?" Karin asked.

"Well that's easy!" Ichigo said figuring it out. "It's to celebrate that Don Kanonji left Japan to Canada!" Ichigo told them.

"Ohh!!" Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Actually it was to celebrate that Rukia's pregnant, and that my oldest son is getting married!" Isshin said, tears brimming at his eyes. "Oh it's starting to come up now!" His breaking voice said as he blew his nose with a tissue.

"What's a cake?" Everyone asked.

"YOU DON'T KNOW?!" Ichigo, Karin and Yuzu asked clearly surprised.

"…We don't have these in Soul Society" Byakuya told him.

"WHAT?!" Ichigo asked slightly freaked out that the existence of cake wasn't in Soul Society. "Then how do you celebrate birthdays?" He asked.

"Simple" Renji said and everyone else smirked.

"BIRTHDAY BEATS!" Everyone yelled out.

"That is so juvenile" Ichigo muttered.

"Mika and I still have bruises on our arms" Tori pointed out as their birthdays had only passed for a month.

"It's been a month, they can't possibly still be there" Ichigo pointed out.

"Has anyone told you that Rina has a good arm?" Mika asked.

"She does?" Renji asked.

"Yeah…she gets pretty violent at times" Tori said rubbing her arm where all the punches had been laid. "At first she only showed her violent side when she kicked this guy in the shin because he was giving me birthday beats" Tori continued on shooting a glare at Rina.

"He rolled into a ball" Mika laughed.

"But then out of the blue she decides to give me birthday beats on my birthday! Now we said to each other—I STILL HAVE THE CONTRACT TO PROVE IT!—that we would take off the zero of our ages for the birthday beats" Tori continued talking about Rina's use of violence.

"Well it can't be that bad, since she's not punching you a hundred times" Hitsugaya told her.

"There's a reason why the bruises are still there!" Mika and Tori hissed.

"I only gave you guys one punch a day" Rina pointed out. "Although, I may have given it to you guys more than once a day a couple times..." Rina started to ponder.

"Well guess what? Your birthday is coming up so look out!" Tori threatened her.

"Wow, well I know now that these two are made for each other" Renji said pointing to Rina and Byakuya who glared at him in return. "Dangerous, scary, smart, and bad role models to kids!" Renji said cautiously.

"Hey I didn't teach Nariko to give birthday bites!" Rina protested.

"That was me" Mika admitted.

"Hey I'll give you 15 bucks if you punch Byakuya" Ichigo whispered over to Rina.

"Make it 25 and we have a deal" She negotiated.

"Fine, here" He said handing over the money.

"Here ya go, Tori, Mika" Rina said boredly turning the money to her friends.

"YES!!" They cheered.

"HEY!" Ichigo yelled out once the money had 'magically' appeared into two other hands.

"Right, here's 5 bucks of it since I feel bad for you that you're a horrible negotiator" Rina said returning 5 of it.

"What?" He asked confused.

"We don't want it anymore!" Mika said.

"Yeah that's pity money!" Tori added on.

Everyone was satisfied once the cake was gone. Despite the fact that there was a _My Little Pony_ design on it with pink flowers all around it, everyone could say that cake was the best thing ever.

"Ichi-nii!" Yuzu called out walking over towards him.

"Not now!" He said as he threw a pillow over to her, knocking her over.

"ICHIGO!" Rukia yelled at him.

"Busy here!" Ichigo shouted out to the world as he eyes remained focused onto the TV screen.

"AH! I hate it whenever there's a sports game on!" Yuzu complained throwing the pillow back to Ichigo.

"Yeah well I hated watching those "Spirit Hunt" or whatever they're called shows hosted by Don Kanonji that you and dad like so much, but I **SUPPORTED** you!" Ichigo told her. "And I watched every single episode for a month! Be grateful that I stayed in this house for 15 years!" Ichigo told her.

"…What kind of vile, despicable brother are you?" Gin asked.

"One that's hungry and is trying to watch the game" Ichigo replied.

"Anyone feeling tired?" Rangiku asked curiously.

"Sleeping is overrated" Mika stated.

"Everything is overrated to you" Renji pointed out.

"GOOD SO LET'S STAY UP ALL NIGHT AND PLAY STUFF LIKE…" Rangiku yelled out cheerfully, until someone threw an apple into her mouth. She started to gag on it until it fell out. "Truth or Dare!" She said menacingly hoping it would turn out for the best.


	20. A Drunken Mess

"TRUTH OR DARE!!" Rangiku declared cheerfully.

"It's 7:30" Ichigo told her but apparently she didn't hear him.

"Rangiku, when you were born did the doctor drop you by accident?" Rina asked curiously.

"How should I know?" She asked dumbfounded.

"I'll take that as a yes anyways, what in your mind made you think that all of us would play?" Rina continued as she asked Rangiku.

"Just think of it as payback for ditching me" Rangiku said.

Everyone looked at each other, sighed in utter defeat and agreed to play along.

"I'm gonna call some friends" Ichigo said getting up to use the phone.

"I'll call your sake buddies down" Renji said dialing the phone.

In a matter of minutes, a parade of people invaded Ichigo's house.

"You said that you were gonna call _some_ friends, not a gay parade!" Hitsugaya told them.

"We have many friends okay?" Renji and Ichigo said in unison.

"Okay, I'll start things off!" Rangiku said cheerfully. "Ikkaku!" She called on him.

"Truth, I'm not going to do anything stupid…at least not this early." Ikkaku said.

"Okay then, who do you like more? Nemu or Mizuho?" Rangiku asked curiously with a sly grin on her face. Seeing as the two females were there she just had to ask it.

"Uh…well…" Ikkaku grew very nervous as he knew that Nemu was just way too nice for him to say something bad about her but, Mizuho desperately wanted to know.

Usually in this kind of situation, Tori, Mika and Rina would act like the commentators on a sports game. Just to release the tension or just to pressurize people even more, either way it was fun to them.

"And the pressure's on!" Tori started. "Nemu is backing away into the shadows right now hiding from Ikkaku, probably because of his ugly face!"

"With Mizuho, she's leaning a lot more than the Leaning Tower of Pisa right now! Oh poor Keigo, looks like he's going to get the pain if Ikkaku says Nemu!" Mika said.

"So, Keigo, how are you feeling about this right now?" Rina asked Keigo.

"Scared and slightly nauseous" He answered.

"And what will you do if Ikkaku says it's Nemu?"

"Mizuho is going to kill me" He wept.

"And if he says your sister?"

"I'll get beaten up anyways!"

"Well there you have it; Keigo is going to die either way! Back to you Tori!" Rina concluded.

"Okay now we're back with Ikkaku. He's sweating like a sick fat pig!" Tori commented.

"I AM NOT!" Ikkaku yelled to them.

"You know what would be great here right now?" Mika asked.

"What?" Rina asked.

"Cartoon music!"

"Oh right, right…"

"Well Nemu's keeping it quiet with her, it's like she won't take a huge blow at all! Talk about keeping your cool!" Mika stated. "But with Mizuho it's way different."

"Ikkaku you have 10 seconds!" Rangiku said looking at her watch impatiently waiting for an answer.

"Okay, okay! Geez!" Ikkaku muttered. "Rina, Byakuya, Ichigo get out here with me for a second" Ikkaku said getting up heading out the doors.

"Why?" Rina asked confused.

"Cuz I said so! Now get!" Ikkaku yelled.

"Fine" They sighed and followed him out.

"YOU HAVE 8 SECONDS!!" Rangiku hollered to them.

"…Why the hell did you call us out?" Ichigo asked Ikkaku as he was on the phone.

"—yeah, can I get Kurotsuchi Mayuri on?" Ikkaku asked. "Okay I know you probably hate me and all but…"

"Oh I get it now!" Rina said figuring out what was going on.

"…If you would let me talk you would know!" Ikkaku yelled getting frustrated. "Just to let you know I have 2 captains and a girl here ready to open a can of whoop-ass on you if you don't say yes!" He threatened.

"Us?" The 3 shinigami pointed to themselves confused.

"Okay fine then! I'll get one of them to talk to you then!" Ikkaku yelled at his phone. "Here, talk to him and persuade him to…well you get the point" Ikkaku said handing it over to Rina.

"Why is it always me?" She complained. "Get Mika and Tori out here!" Rina told Ichigo as she took over Ikkaku's tedious task. "Okay, listen here clown-face! Ikkaku is making a huge sacrifice here so you should respect it and let him go out with Nemu!" Rina yelled to Kurotsuchi.

"What's going on here?" Tori asked as Ichigo dragged them out.

"—yes I know you won't let him but did you even listen to what I just said?" Rina asked. "Okay fine, I admit, whenever I talk to you on the phone, actually whenever I talk to anyone on the phone I put it down and answer like I've been listening the whole time but whatever!"

* * *

"Hey, you know you shouldn't yell in a hospital right?" Urahara asked Kurotsuchi as he entered his room.

"It's true Kurotsuchi-taichou, not only are you disturbing the peace, but your blood pressure is getting high!" Unohana warned him.

"Well what should I do? Allow Nemu to date Ikkaku?" He hissed.

"Sure" Both of them shrugged.

"Give me a reason why I should let him" Kurotsuchi said.

"He's strong, he has Bankai, he's good with children, he's good with animals—live and balloon—he's protective…" Urahara listed.

* * *

"What's going on right now?" Mika asked Rina.

"I dunno he just stopped talking…" Rina said staring at the phone.

"Maybe he died" Ichigo said absentmindedly.

"That'd be fine by me!" Ikkaku said suddenly.

"Oh wait he's back…" Rina said as she heard him screech through the phone.

"IF I HAD A GUN RIGHT NOW I WOULD GET OUT OF HERE SO MUCH FASTER!!!" Kurotsuchi yelled out angrily.

"Yes, I'm sure if you had a gun you would get out much faster but you shouldn't say things like that out loud in a hospital!" Rina told him. "…Hello?" She asked as Kurotsuchi became silent again. "Kurotsuchi-taichou?"

"What happened? Did he die this time?" Ichigo asked confused.

"…Of course! By all means, interrogate him Yamamoto-soutaichou" Rina said through the phone, she handed the phone back to him once she hung up. "Well…Ikkaku you'll be safe for quite a while, possibly up to 3-5 years" Rina told him.

"Yay?" He cheered confused.

"Urahara and a bunch of other captains are on your side just to tell you" She informed him. "Mr. Clown over there accidentally yelled out 'gun' and Yamamoto happened to be walking by so now he's getting interrogated" Rina explained.

"Ohh! Well at least he'll be off my back" Ichigo said relaxing.

"What did you do?" Mika asked.

"…Nothing" Ichigo said nervously and quickly ran back to his house.

"My answer's Nemu, lets eat!" Ikkaku said and barged into the kitchen.

"What?!" Mizuho gasped in shock.

"No!!!!!!" Keigo whimpered as he hid behind a chair.

"Oh yeah, Nemu your dad's probably gonna be in jail for 3-5 years" Ikkaku said coming out of the kitchen.

"Why?" She asked.

"He said the 'G' word" Tori told her.

"Goose?" Renji asked.

"Not that one the other one" Tori told him.

"Uhh…glass?"

"Nope!"

"OKAY WHATEVER LETS CONTINUE!!" Rangiku yelled out wanting to continue the game.

"THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION!!!" Isshin yelled out randomly opening up a bar that no one knew of.

"We had a bar?" Ichigo asked surprised. "For how long?"

"A long time, all you had to do was pull the fire alarm and the wall would've flipped around" Isshin told him.

"But it says 'do not pull'!!" Tori said.

"I know that's why nobody knew of this!"

"It's fine by me!" Rangiku yelled and ran over people to get a drink.

Well to make a long story short, a bunch of people got drunk and acted like complete morons. Isshin eventually kicked them out—literally—and everyone fell asleep or passed out on the floor or the couches. Rangiku was basically the only that passed out, everyone else went to sleep.

* * *

"Hey look!" Tori said to her friends once the sun had risen. She was pointing to Ichigo who had fallen asleep on the couch. She grabbed his hand and waved it in the air. "Let's put his hand in warm water!" She plotted evilly.

"Tori!" Rukia scolded.

"Aww…come on!"

"That's childish!" Rukia told her grabbing a marker off the kitchen table. "Let's draw on his forehead!" Rukia said and leaned over to draw on Ichigo's forehead. Just as the pen tip was a hair's width away from Ichigo's forehead, he woke up.

"…RUKIA WAS GONNA DRAW ON YOU!" Mika shouted out.

"Mika!" Rukia yelped.

"Well it's okay," Ichigo said sitting up.

"It is?" Rukia asked confused.

"Yeah, dad, Karin and Yuzu put my hand in warm water" Ichigo told her.

* * *

"30…29…28…" Gin said to himself as he watched the food in the microwave rotate round and round.

"What are you in a hurry for?" Rangiku asked him, as she had seen him practically thrown the food into the microwave.

"I'm hungry!" Gin replied.

BEEP! The microwave beeped and almost immediately, Gin swung open the microwave door and snatched his breakfast. He grabbed a piece of it and flung it in his mouth. "Agh!" He gasped from the hot article of food simmering in his mouth. As he was inhaling as much air as he could to cool the piece of food down, Rangiku stared at him in disbelief.

"Gin, why can't you wait 30 seconds for it to cool down?" She asked as Gin was practically dying from his impatience.

"Why can't you cook?!" He retaliated swallowing his breakfast, finally.

"I can so cook! You just don't appreciate it!" She said.

"That means you can't cook" Ichigo said barging into the kitchen.

"Orihime likes it! You guys just don't have taste!" She huffed.

"Ichigo, what is this?" Rukia asked taking a bite out of something yellowish. "It's so good!" She exclaimed.

"_Eggo_'s" Ichigo replied slightly confused.

"Oh my god that is so cute!" Rina spoke up. "Up in Seireitei, we call 'em waffles!" She told him.

"Uhh…okay?" Ichigo was clearly confused.

"Son, just to tell you, Seireitei doesn't have 2 very important essential things needed for life" Isshin whispered to him. "Cake and _Eggo_'s" He said and left to do his doctor things.

"Okay, we'll be off now, do you guys need anything? Cuz we'll get it" Rukia asked them.

"Marshmallows!" Mika shouted out.

"Gummy Bears!" Tori hollered.

"Chocolate bunnies!" Rangiku blurted out.

"You better eat that where I can't see you!" Rukia told her before she left.

"Oh, what a sad, sad story if only it ended in something like "I ditched my friend to hang out with my hunky boyfriend"!" Rangiku wailed sarcastically.

"You think we're hunky?" Renji asked.

"…Did I just say that?" She asked blushing slightly.

"Okay seriously, is that all?" Rina asked. "Cuz we don't want you guys come whining to us that you guys don't have enough food"

"Oh what a sad, sad story if only it--

"RANGIKU!!" Rina yelled out. "I will rip your tongue out!" She threatened.

Rangiku clamped her hands over her mouth and backed away quietly.

"No…there's nothing else…" Tori said for Rangiku.

Once Rukia and Rina had left, the rest of the group decided to ditch the place. After all, Isshin had asked them ever so nicely to help with the chores. But, their laziness took over and led them outside leaving Isshin in despair…or joy…it depends if he likes chores.

* * *

"Hey Ichigo!" Keigo yelled over to him who had successfully and amazingly survived Mizuho's wrath. "Wanna join us?" He asked throwing a football over to Chad who caught and hurled it back to Keigo with amazing speed.

"What's that?" Gin asked.

"Football, it's where you tackle people for a ball" Ichigo explained.

"So that means we get to hit people" Renji said.

"Yeah, basically"

The men got an evil look on their faces all the sudden, which Ichigo wasn't aware of. They grabbed Ichigo at the collar at the back of his neck, dragged him to the middle of the field, right in between Chad and Keigo.

"Huh? What're you guys doing?" Ichigo asked still confused of his situation.

Renji snatched the ball away from Keigo and placed it in Ichigo's hands. He and the rest of the men surrounded him.

"HUT!" Mika and Tori shouted out.

Immediately, Ichigo was pummeled into the ground just for holding a ball.

"Wanna hit the movies?" Mika asked Tori and Rangiku as she had no interest of wrestling with a bunch of guys.

"Sure" Tori shrugged.

"Let's get out of our gigai's though; I wanna watch all I want for free!" Rangiku suggested.

"OKAY!" And with that the 3 girls left the dust cloud that had a poor, poor football stuck in a tangled mess.

* * *

"Wow, two shopping carts full of things!" Rukia exclaimed quite surprised from what they had to buy.

"Hey it's not our money, who cares!" Rina told her.

"Oh so true!"

"But seriously, 5 jugs of milk?" Rina asked surprised from the grocery list.

"Hey you think that's weird? What about 72 packages of cupcakes?" Rukia asked.

"What about 2 boxes of watermelons?" Rina asked Rukia.

"…We're gonna need a dump truck to haul all of these things back" Rukia sighed.

"You know what? How about we just buy the most useless and random things, just for the fun of it?" Rina suggested.

"What's so fun about it?" Rukia asked confused.

"I dunno it's really the guys' fault for entrusting all this money with us" Rina shrugged.

"Right…okay let's go to the…" Rukia started, and then she stopped to think. "Entertainment/Electronics Department!" Rukia shouted out triumphantly.

"…That's not useless!!!" Rina told her.

"Shut up! I just wanna watch the movie they have on display!" Rukia protested.

"Okay! There's one way of watching something for free!"

* * *

The guys finally stopped attacking each other like ravage beasts, tearing each other apart limb by limb. They trekked to the soup kitchen where Orihime and Tatsuki were helping out. They entered all beaten up, mud and grass stains all over. They looked quite comparable to some people that had been living in a dump.

"They're helping out here?" Ichigo asked absentmindedly as he searched for his friends.

"Oh my goodness!" The elderly worker at the soup kitchen gasped as she saw the group stumble into the building. "How long have you men been on the street?" She asked curiously.

The shinigami looked at each other confused. "Actually we were in the park" Renji spoke up.

"Oh and at such a young age too!" She said quietly. "Here, sit down here" She ushered them to an empty table. "Are you guys' hungry?" She asked.

"Yes! Yes we are! We're always hungry!" Ichigo said.

"Alright then, stay here I'll get something for you" She said and went off.

"Talk about service!" Gin complimented.

"Ichigo?" Tatsuki questioned as she and Orihime had left their posts for their break. "What're you doing here?" She asked. "And why, oh why do you look like a tramp?" She asked.

"It's called getting tackled from multiple people at the same time" Ichigo muttered.

"Here you go!" The woman returned with food.

"AH yes!!!" Ichigo said out happily and was ready to dig in.

"Ichigo you can't eat that!" Tatsuki scolded. "That's for the hobo's!"

"You know him?" The woman asked.

"Actually we know all of them" Orihime piped up.

"They're our, well that one is anyways, our high-school friend!" Tatsuki pointed the finger at Ichigo. Immediately the woman snatched the food away from Ichigo.

"What'd you do that for?" Ichigo asked.

"To stop you from taking what's not for you" Tatsuki answered smoothly.

* * *

"Oh that was a good movie Tori!" Rangiku said as she and the others exited the movie theaters.

"Well it was the last one to watch for the day" Tori pointed out. "And being it was Bambi..."

"True, true, it's awesome being us! We can go straight through buildings!" Rangiku said walking through a post.

"And the best part is," Mika started. "We don't have to follow any stupid rules!" Mika cheered.

* * *

Well as everyone returned back to Ichigo's home they were welcomed with a…well…Isshin but he was different. He was gasping and shrieking like a little girl more than usual.

"Ichigo! Guess what?" Isshin asked staggering over to him in a daze.

"You got drunk and you nearly drowned yourself in the toilet…again?" Ichigo guessed.

"No silly!" Isshin hiccupped.

"You were drinking alright" Ichigo concluded.

"Alright fine I was, but in my defense I was celebrating!" Isshin said leaning on the wall.

"For what?" Ichigo asked looking around the room.

"FOR OUR BRAND NEW FLAT SCREEN HI-DEFINITION TV!!!" Isshin announced putting the TV in the spotlight.

"Where…did…we…get…that?" Ichigo gasped in awe.

"Ask your wife!" Isshin answered still gaping at the TV as if it were some sort of god.

"Rukia, you bought this? How'd you get all the money?" He asked.

"Out of your college funds" Rukia answered.

"What?"

"Well you don't go to school anymore and your father said it was okay" Rina told him.

Ichigo looked towards where his father was, he was bowing down to the all mighty TV; then he started saying his prayers, gave it food offerings and created a little temple around it using all the boxes he had—all in just 5 minutes.

"And that's not all!" Isshin yelled out suddenly jumping into the conversation once he had finished cherishing his moments with the TV. "They also bought: a waffle-iron, a tea set, 3 Barbie dolls, pool table, jukebox, grandfather clock, an eggbeater, a globe, a new table for the living room, 16 assorted pillows, a mirror, an alarm clock, dolly clothes, and the most important thing that I have ever gotten in my life!" Isshin said.

"…Why the hell did you guys buy all that?" Ichigo asked confused.

"But nothing for _us_?" Renji asked slightly offended.

"Ah chill, we got your junk food" Rina told them and tossed all the junk over to them.

"A **POP-UP BOOK**!!" Isshin finished pulling a book and opened it up in front of Ichigo's face where the animals popped up in front of him. "SEE IT POPS UP!! ISN'T THAT AMAZING?!" Isshin asked excitedly. "AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" Isshin laughed maniacally and skipped his way to the kitchen to play with his new book. "AH!" Isshin tripped over his waffle iron that was lying in the middle of the floor for some reason, he lost consciousness when his head hit the ground.

"…Okay who spiked his Vodka?" Ichigo asked looking directly at Rukia and Rina.

"It wasn't us!" Both girls said quickly.

"Let's see…" Tori said looking at the box full of Vodka. "These went bad in 300 B.C." Tori said.

"…Your dad's old" Mika told Ichigo and poked him in the head.

"That can't be right!" Byakuya spoke up.

"Yeah, he'd have to be an old fart like Yamamoto!" Hitsugaya added on.

"I'm telling him you said that!" Tori told him.

"Haha...here's 50 bucks" Hitsugaya said and slipped her the money.

"Alright!!" Tori cheered at her newfound money.

"But it really does say 300 B.C." Rina said looking at the box.

"You must be blind then cuz it says..." Gin peered at the box. "300 B.C.**E**.!" Gin told her. "Wait a minute, that can't be right..."

"Whatever! The point is, is that my dad is an intoxicated idiot!" Ichigo yelled out pointing to the man lying on the floor singing 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' in Hebrew.

"Well we might as well get him to bed" Rukia sighed.

"Yeah and destroy the bar too" Renji said flipping the wall back to an ordinary wall with a 'fire alarm' on it.

* * *

"Uh! Why is this bed so high?" Isshin gasped as he slowly climbed up onto his bed.

"Dad, it's only a little more than a foot high!" Ichigo told him as he watched his father pathetically crawl onto his bed.

"Why are there so many pillows?" Isshin asked as he threw off 2 pillows of his bed.

"Okay, he's officially lost it!" Ichigo muttered banging his head on the wall.

"AW SOBER UP ALREADY!" Rukia yelled at the highly intoxicated man that was supposed to be her father-in-law.

"He needs a doctor" Karin mumbled.

"A doctor for a doctor?" Yuzu asked.

"Then there's only one person that has the experience in this house" Ichigo said looking out the doorway.

"RINA GET YOUR BUTT UP HERE!!!" Rukia yelled from the staircase.

"Whaddya want now?!" Rina yelled up as she was helping Rangiku, who was helping Mika, who was helping Tori who was helping Renji, who was helping Gin, who was helping Byakuya who was helping Hitsugaya, who was helping Kon, remove a butcher's knife that was implanted onto what was the fire alarm.

"We need you to help sober up Ichigo's dad!" Rukia told her.

"What makes you think I can help?" Rina asked.

"You were a doctor!"

"Keyword: **WERE**!! I won't be much help! Besides I'm not a miracle worker! That's Tori!" Rina yelled up.

"I am?" Tori asked.

"Just splash freezing cold water on him or something!" Mika yelled up.

"OK!" Rukia ran back to where Ichigo was, and got out of her gigai, pulled out her zanpakutou and told Ichigo and his sisters to get away. "Mai, Sode no Shirayuki!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! C-C-C-C-C-C-C-OLD!!!" Isshin shrieked, which was just loud enough for Ryuken who was in the hospital (where he worked) to hear him.

"...That drunken idiot..." Ryuken muttered shaking his head.


	21. Feeling Odd?

"Agh! I thought he'd never sober up" Ichigo sighed as he walked in the corridors of his division.

"You said it; we had to splash how many buckets of cold water on him?" Rukia asked.

"I lost count at 13…" Ichigo muttered. "But the only thing worst than my idiot dad getting drunk is that…both he AND Kon tagged along!" Ichigo said with a clenched fist in front of his face ready to swing it at somebody.

"Oh it can't be that bad" Rukia told him. "He left your sisters at Orihime's place, so there isn't anything wrong at all!" Rukia reminded him.

"...Hey where's Kon?" Isshin asked looking around for the plushy.

"You lost sight of him?!" Rukia and Ichigo shrieked knowing that the little pervert would try anything just to be around a woman.

* * *

"Huh?" Yachiru looked behind her back in the office, thinking that she had heard something. For the whole day, she had been hanging out with Nariko doing…little kid things…such as terrorizing and scaring a whole division to a near-death state.

"It's a monkey!" Nariko exclaimed pointing at a yellowish blob behind the couch.

"Yay! We have a new dolly to play with!" Yachiru cheered and plucked the 'monkey' away from the couch. Little did she know, it was actually Kon.

"Everywhere I go, there are always little kids!!" Kon moaned quietly. "Does Hueco Mundo have little kids? I don't think so!" Kon nearly yelled out.

* * *

"I gots the weird feeling right now!" Nel exclaimed to Dondochakka and Pesshe. "Someone's not believing that lil' kids like yous and me exist!" She told them.

"What morons would think that?" Pesshe scratched his head.

"I dunno, but I don'ts likes it!" Dondochakka said, quivering under a pebble.

"Hey, get your asses in here!" Grimmjow yelled at them. The three 'siblings' were out in Hueco Mundo's deserts, making sand castles of huge sizes. "The last thing we want is, having someone giving us a lecture on child abuse" Grimmjow muttered.

"OKAYS be in a minute!" Nel told him.

* * *

"This monkey looks funny" Yachiru said and pulled the tail.

"Monkey's don't have claws do they?" Nariko asked and tugged on Kon's paw.

"I don't think they have a mane…" Yachiru said giving a suspicious look at Kon while pulling the mane.

"Why is there a cross on the back of its head?" Nariko wondered.

"WHAT?!" Kon shrieked and jumped out of Nariko's and Yachiru's hands. He grabbed a nearby mirror and tried to look at the back of his head. "What did that stupid Quincy do?!" He grumbled as he tried to look back.

"Wah! A talking monkey!" Nariko cried out surprised and grabbed Kon back.

"Oof!"

"I know! Let's dress him up to make him look pretty!!" Yachiru decided and pulled out a huge trunk of dolly clothes.

"**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!**"

* * *

"Why do we have to be here?" Tori whined to Hitsugaya as she, Mika and Rina were forced to stay with the guys in Mayuri's hospital room.

"Orders are orders" Hitsugaya said.

"I want you guys to do something for me" Mayuri started out in the most gentle tone that he could ever pull off. "That Urahara guy is acting…odd…I want you guys to find out why"

"Why don't you just hire a private detective?" Rina asked.

"There aren't any in Seireitei" He told her.

"Yes there are! I hired one once!" Rina told him.

"You did?!" Everyone asked her obviously surprised.

"Yeah, it was when I was on my missions and I had to leave Mika and Tori alone in the house" Rina explained.

"So you asked him to spy on us?!" Tori asked quite offended.

"Chill, it was Yachiru!" Rina told her.

"Oh, I'm fine with that" Mika said.

"Yeah but the problem was, when she was taking pictures, she forgot to take off the lens on the camera" Rina added on.

"Oh thank god! If you had seen us destroying the—" Mika stopped talking since Rina gave her a surprised look.

"Destroyed what?" Rina asked.

"Nothing!" Mika said quickly and hid behind Renji.

"Was it the radio? A pillow? Oh god don't tell me it was the Beanie Baby Collection!!!" Rina quickly dashed out of the hospital room to have an 'inventory check' on her home.

"You might want to run after her, she might tear apart our home you know" Mika informed Byakuya; in an instant he shunpoed right after her.

"So…" Tori started sitting down in a chair. "Urahara's acting **odd** huh?"

"What do you mean by odd anyways?" Mika asked as she sat down on a chair. "He's an odd guy, whaddya expect?"

Hitsugaya and Renji thought it was quite funny to see Mika and Tori fall down, so they swiftly pulled the chairs from under them…but. Mika and Tori remained in the sitting position as if there were a chair there!

"What the--?!" Renji and Hitsugaya looked at each other with a 'WTF?' look on them; they slid the chairs back under the girls.

"AAAH!!" Tori and Mika fell forward as soon as the chairs were placed back in the former position.

"What the--?!" Renji and Hitsugaya got the face again and wondered how that was possible.

"Not funny guys!" Tori told them as she and Mika stood up, not impressed by their boyfriends' antics.

"The chairs are back to where they were!" Renji protested.

"Well…let's see then!" Mika said and pulled out a ruler out of thin air. "Ah-hah! It's **exactly 1 mm** away from where it was! I find both of you guilty!" Mika told them proving them wrong.

"How--? But…wha?" The two stammered unable to find the words to complete their questions.

"I can't believe you guys!" Rina yelled as she reentered the room with Byakuya. "Good news is, the Beanie Baby collection is alright, bad news is…YOU GUYS DESTROYED MR. STAPLY?!" Rina asked.

"Mr. who?" Renji asked.

"Mr. Staply, he's, well he was a stapler" Tori explained.

"Why'd you guys do it?" Rina asked.

"He told us to" Mika explained.

"He told you to?" Rina asked not believing Mika's words.

"Yeah he was like '_Kill me Mika! Kill me Tori! I wanna die!! I wanna see the Staple God!!_' that's the reason why we destroyed it" Mika said.

"Don't worry we gave him a proper burial and we pray at it every month!" Tori assured her.

"…Ok…well…I guess that's okay" Rina mumbled.

"HAS ANYONE SEEN KON?!" Rukia and Ichigo yelled out of breath as they tore down the door.

"No!" Everyone replied.

"Oh man!" Ichigo muttered and left with Rukia in search of his plushy.

* * *

"**AAAHHHHHHH IIICHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIGGGOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!**" Kon screamed as he ran as fast as he could from the 2 females that had dressed him up in a huge frilly dress with a bonnet and a parasol. "Why do kids love me so much God?" Kon asked to the heavens as he swerved dangerously around a passing shinigami. "ICHIGO! RUKIA! WHERE ARE YOU?!!!?! OOF!" As Kon was wailing for Ichigo and Rukia he happened to bump into them.

"Kon where the hell were you?!" Rukia asked holding him up by his tail.

"You cared?" Kon gasped and went into Lala Land from the moment he had thought that Rukia had cared of his wellbeing.

"What happened to him?" Ichigo asked as Kon had drifted to some unknown place in his mind. "Did he die?" He asked as he poked him repeatedly.

"Saru-chan!" Yachiru called down the corridor looking for Kon.

"There he is!" Nariko pointed out Kon's lifeless body being held by a female shinigami.

"Rukia, Ichigo!!!" Yachiru exclaimed excitedly as she ran to them. "You found Saru-chan!"

"…Monkey?" Ichigo asked as he looked at Kon.

"Uh…was he with you two?" Rukia asked the two kids.

"Mm-hm! But then he ran away after we dressed him up" Nariko explained.

Ichigo and Rukia looked at each other and decided immediately what they would do with Kon.

"You two can keep playing with him!" Ichigo said handing Kon back to the two.

"What?! TRAITOR!!!" Kon yelled as he was forcefully dragged away from the two people that he thought he could trust.

"Yo!" Ichigo waved to Byakuya as he walked by.

"Hey" He responded calmly and walked pass Ichigo and Rukia.

"Something's not right!" Rukia exclaimed noticing her brother's calm attitude.

"I know! Usually he'd glare at me or punch me in the gut!" Ichigo agreed with Rukia.

"What did Rina do?" Both asked each other.

* * *

"Man I'm so glad we didn't have to stick with him the whole day!" Rina said cheerfully as she and her friends walked to 11th Division just to see what Yachiru was up to.

"I know! Can you believe that he expected Urahara to finish something of his?" Tori asked.

"That's really impossible" Mika told them.

"Rina! What happened to nii-sama?!" Rukia asked as she nearly rammed into Rina.

"Wha?" Rina asked confused.

"We just passed him in the halls and he was **CALM**!!" Ichigo told her.

"…And your point?" Rina asked still not getting the picture.

"That's never happened before!!" Both Rukia and Ichigo yelled out at her.

"Wait a minute; this is a test isn't it?" Ichigo asked. "You guys are testing us if we can remain calm even in the most strange and frightening experiences of our lives aren't you?!" Ichigo asked them. "Well guess what? It's not working!" Ichigo told them before stomping off.

"…What?" Rina asked getting even more confused. "Your brother's being nice, what's so wrong about that?" Rina asked Rukia.

"Well it's…rare!"

"Really? Then Ichigo must get on his bad side then!" Rina told her and walked away to find her captain.

"…That is very true!!" Rukia yelled after her.

"...Hey look! It's Urahara!" Tori pointed at the former captain walk by.

"…He looks…_odd_" Mika commented.

"…Hi Urahara, feeling _odd_ lately?" Tori went up to him and asked.

"…What's going on?" He asked slightly confused and scared.

"Well Kurotsuchi-taichou says you're acting _odd_ lately" Rukia explained.

"…Well he was the _odd _one" Urahara mumbled.

"This is feeling very _odd_" Mika said suddenly.

"Can we stop? The _odd_ity is getting to me" Tori whined.

"Is this another one of those curses that Renji makes up?" Urahara asked.

"…Probably"

"So how are you feeling today?" Rukia asked Urahara again.

"Odd" He answered.

"Dammit!!"

* * *

"…I know my enemy is no longer Ichigo" Kon said in his mind. "ITS LITTLE KIDS!!!" He shrieked in his mind while the two girls were playing tea party and dollies with him. Also with the occasional catch game where they used Kon for the game.


	22. Awkward Night

"Hey Mika, I found a great movie for the movie night!" Renji yelled busting down the door to Mika's home. "It's not one of those gruesome movies you always pick but I'm sure you'll like it!!" Renji yelled hearing his own echoes.

"Renji shush!!" Mika scolded him and thwacked upside the head with the movie he had brought with him. "…Ice Age 2? In the middle of summer too! What a great selection Renji!!" Mika praised him as he entered the living room.

"I know, it cost me 3 tea parties with Yachiru just to get that movie from her" Renji groaned.

"So where is everyone?" Renji wondered scanning the empty household.

"Oh, Tori's in her room eating her dinner—S'mores! And Rina just got brain freeze so she's in her room trying to wait it out" Mika asked.

"…S'mores?! You call that dinner?" Renji asked in disbelief.

"Wanna know what the weirdest thing we had for dinner was?" Mika asked.

"Sure"

"Ramen" She answered.

"…That has to be the most normal thing you have ever eaten though!" Renji pointed out.

"Hey ramen isn't very filling for dinner you know!"

"I am never gonna take your dares again Mika!" Rina said once her brain freeze had dissipated.

"It was **just** 5 slurpees!!" Mika protested.

"Yeah but you just had to go out and buy the biggest size they had!!"

"…Oh yeah…"

"So what's the movie?" Rina asked.

"Ice Age 2" Mika answered.

"So we're not watching Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses?" Tori asked popping up out of nowhere.

"AAAAGH!!" Renji yelped and jumped across the room.

"Anyways…where are the rest of the people that said that they were coming?" Tori asked.

"I think I know where they are…" Rina said and opened the front door. "Are you guys coming in?" Rina asked the Byakuya and Hitsugaya who were sitting outside the entryway.

"Depends, are we watching Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses?" Hitsugaya asked.

"Nope"

"So that means I won my bet with Yachiru" Byakuya sighed in relief.

"What bet?" Rina asked.

"She bet 9200 yen that Renji would choose Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses movie for movie night and I bet the same price that Renji wouldn't choose it" Byakuya explained.

"What? Is that why she kept persuading me to choose that movie?" Renji asked surprised.

"Probably" Hitsugaya shrugged.

"…Hey where are Ichigo and Rukia?" Mika asked looking outside the door.

"…They started saying lovey-dovey words to each other so we ran ahead of them" Hitsugaya explained.

"Good choice" Tori said.

A few minutes later, Ichigo and Rukia showed up at the door.

"Here's some rules that you **HAVE TO** follow in this house" Renji said to them threateningly. "Rule 1: **NO LOVEY-DOVEY TALK!! **Rule 2: **NO KISSING, HUGGING IS OKAY THOUGH!! **Finally, Rule 3: **NO HOGGING THE COUCH, FLOOR OR THE FRIDGE!!**"

"…Those aren't our rules but I'm with Renji!" Mika stated.

"OK, if someone would put the movie in, we could get started!" Rina said bringing Nariko into the room.

"Oh! Can I hold her Rina?" Rukia asked.

"I don't think that's good idea" Renji said quietly.

"Shut up!!" Rukia hissed and jabbed him in the gut.

"Sure, it'll be a good experience for you guys anyways" Rina pointed out as Nariko went to Rukia.

"Remember, we're just seeing how well you guys can handle a kid so don't take it so seriously" Mika reminded them.

"Yeah we know" Rukia and Ichigo said in unison.

"Psst…Nariko can you fake cry?" Tori asked her.

"Ok!" She said innocently but quietly. "WwwwaaaAAAAAAhhhHHHHH!!!" Nariko started to 'cry'.

"Oh my god! What happened?" Ichigo asked as he jumped up from the couch.

"What do I do? What do I do?" Rukia asked starting to panic.

"Is she hungry? Tired? Made a no-no?" Ichigo asked frantically.

"She's only 7!!" Rina told Ichigo. "She doesn't wear diapers anymore!"

"Uh, uh, wah!! What do we do?!" Ichigo and Rukia screeched.

"You expect me to know?!" Ichigo asked Rukia.

"Well shouldn't you?! You grew up with 2 sisters!!" Rukia yelled back.

"Well you grew up with Renji!!" Ichigo shot back.

"Hey!!" Renji shouted out offended.

"…Where's Nariko?" Rina asked concerned.

"Huh?" Everyone looked in Rukia's arms, where Nariko was supposed to be.

"I'm flying!" Nariko said happily.

"What?" Everyone looked up and Nariko had been shot up into the air.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Back and forth people scrambled trying to get into position to catch the toddler.

"MOVE!!" Shouts erupted from them as they pushed people aside trying to catch her. Soon everyone started to fight with other, arguments sparked up now and then. They had forgotten about the flying toddler momentarily but they soon remembered.

"CATCH HER SOMEBODY!!" Hitsugaya yelled out.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Nariko squealed happily as she started to plunge.

"AAHHHH!! I can't watch!" Rukia screamed out as she covered her eyes.

Everyone had expected some kind of thud and then cries, they got the thud but no crying.

"Huh?" Everyone looked to where Nariko was, on a really big mat, with padding on the walls.

"What the? When did that get there?" Rina wondered.

"Was that catapult always there?" Byakuya asked pointing towards the catapult down the hall.

"…You guys can come out now" Mika said in a bored and disappointed voice.

The closet door opened and out tumbled 3 strangely large animals.

"We'll go!" The large wolf (Hiroshi) said and the 3 animals stalked/flew out of the house.

"Aren't you guys gonna go get them?" Ichigo asked.

"Nah, they always go to Hueco Land whenever they leave" Tori explained.

"Oh and by the way, **WAY TO KEEP YOUR COOL**!!" Hitsugaya scolded the couple.

"Well sorry!!" Ichigo retorted.

"Okay, okay! Can we just get started on the movie?" Rukia asked.

Mika placed the disc in the DVD player, right when the start menu came up, the power went out.

"What?!"

"HOLD ON I'VE GOT IT!!" Mika shouted out and stumbled over to her room. About a few minutes later due to bumping into walls, people, miscellaneous objects, Mika returned with: her light-saber, glow in the dark toys, and light up toys.

"I could've just lit a fire you know" Rina pointed out to Mika.

"What are we, in the dark ages?!" Mika asked.

"Well it is dark" Renji pointed out.

"And we are in some era" Hitsugaya added on.

"So technically, we are in the dark ages" Byakuya concluded.

"…Damn you smart people" Mika muttered.

Soon candles were lit since the light that Mika had brought with her only lit up a very small portion of the room. Of course, the candles were birthday candles, but they had to go with what they had. They also had accidentally lit a firework so it was obviously hard to see where it was, they realized where it had landed once Ichigo screamed so loud that the glass in the windows broke. Then there was the sparkler incident, sparks started jumping around the room, a select few found it amusing while the rest didn't.

"So what do we do now?" Rukia asked wonderingly as the room lit up.

"Not sing Kumbaya" Renji said not feeling in the mood to sing campfire songs.

"We could sit and wait for the power to come back like some people with no lives" Mika stated sarcastically.

"Why does the power go out so often now?" Ichigo wondered.

"I think it has something to do with Kurotsuchi's experiment" Rina suggested.

"What is he experimenting on anyways?" Renji asked.

"I heard that he was splitting atoms or something" Hitsugaya answered.

"Well that's a stupid thing to do! All you get is a huge explosion!" Tori shouted out. "Even we know that!!"

"Yeah but even so, it shouldn't knock out the power…oh wait…Urahara's in charge…" Rukia muttered. "Forget what I just said!"

"I was told that little dwarves on tiny little bikes charge power for us and whenever the power goes out, it means that they're lazy and sleeping or something" Nariko spoke up quietly.

"…I'm scared now!! Those little dwarves are gonna kill us!!" Tori whined.

"Who told her that?!" Ichigo asked.

"I'm at fault there" Rina laughed nervously. "That's what my brother told me so shut up!!"

"And you believed that story?!" Byakuya asked appalled.

"Ok I admit, I believed for a minute or two before realizing that it was fake…but then again he said that it was a fake so yeah!"

"…And here I thought you were the sane and smart one!" Renji said appalled.

"Well Renji, you were wrong! I'm a true idiot at heart!" Rina explained.

"…Something tells me that one of those slurpees was spiked" Tori whispered over to Mika who agreed with her.

"It wouldn't be the first time so…" Mika mumbled.

---

"Man I'm so hungry!" Tori complained for the 32nd time.

"What did you have for dinner?!" Hitsugaya asked fed up with the complaining.

"S'mores!" Tori cheered.

"AND 4 bags of JUMBO marshmallows that came in 50's" Mika added on.

"Don't forget all of those cupcakes" Rina finished.

"…That's a healthy and filling dinner" Rukia commented.

"Are you guys dieting or something?" Ichigo wondered. "Cuz I don't get how you guys can get through a day with only that much for dinner!"

"Dieting? NO!! Oomaeda already said that he could snap us like a twig!" Mika told Ichigo.

"Besides, why would we want to eat bowl of lettuce? That's rabbit food!" Rina told them.

"Rabbit?" Rukia shot up from her seat and tried to look for a bunny.

"Sit down!" Ichigo told her.

"Wait a minute; don't you guys have a backup generator?" Hitsugaya remembered from the previous power outage; their backup generator had kicked the bucket.

"We _had_ one but its gone now" Rina told him.

"What happened to it?" Rukia asked.

"OH I wonder!" Rina said sarcastically and looked in Mika's and Tori's direction.

"What's she looking at?" Tori whispered over to Mika.

"I dunno" Mika responded.

* * *

After a long while and a long silence, people started to get fidgety. They weren't used to have nothing to do at all. Usually they'd be yelling at people, doing work, eating, sleeping, playing games but no, there was nothing for them to do. Even though Nariko was asleep in her bed, the group couldn't find anything to do.

"How long are those stupid little dwarves gonna take a break for?" Renji asked boredly.

"…That story's a fake!" Mika reminded him.

"Yeah I know, but it'd be great for a campfire story" Renji told her.

"Yeah where the kids are 4 years old" Mika said quietly. "Man I wish there was food in the fridge right now" Mika moaned from hunger.

"I guess I shouldn't rub in the fact that I had steak" Renji muttered.

"You had steak?!" Mika asked suddenly. She grabbed Renji's head and forcibly kissed him, he was taken in by surprise. Everyone stared in shock. She broke the kiss, sighed and hugged him. "Medium rare!" She sighed happily.

"…How'd you know?" Renji asked confused.

"What'd you have for dessert?!" Mika asked and repeated the previous occurrence. "Cheesecake!" She sighed content.

"It makes me wonder what she would have done if I said I had pizza" Byakuya said nervously.

"You had pizza?!" Rina asked and repeated what Mika had done with Renji.

"Whoa!" Ichigo said appalled.

"Ohh! Deluxe with everything on top!" She sighed happily as she hugged him. "You had a latte and strawberry jello too!" She added on.

"…You can taste all that?!" Byakuya asked surprised not only from Rina's sense of taste but from the sudden kiss.

"Wait a minute, I don't know of a pizza parlor that would give you all that…where'd you go to get that?" Rina asked.

"…It's called my kitchen" He answered.

"Oh I should so visit you more often!" She said and continued to hug him.

"S'mores right?" Hitsugaya asked Tori.

"Yeah…" Tori answered unsure of what would happen. The next thing she was, Toshiro had ended up kissing her.

"Ew! Guys get a room!" Rukia told them as she was cuddling with Ichigo. "You don't see Ichigo kissing me just because I had spaghetti!" Rukia told them.

"Exactly, just because I had a hot fudge sundae—

"YOU HAD A HOT FUDGE SUNDAE?!" Rukia intercepted and pulled him into a deep kiss.

"Guys get a room!" Renji told them disgusted by the sight.

"…Now we have a reason to get rid of these couches" Tori said covering her eyes.

"Strangely enough, I'm not hungry anymore" Rina spoke up.

"Yeah me too" Mika agreed.

"Hey do you guys have any—whoa! Looks like some people are busy!!" Rangiku shouted through the open window as she, Izuru, Gin, and Hisagi saw the smooching couples.

"AAH!!" They screamed and pulled apart from each other.

"Oh, the power's back guess we don't need any candles after all!" Rangiku giggled as she and the rest ran off.

"GET BACK HERE!!" Renji yelled.

"Oh dammit! I forgot it was sake night" Ichigo grumbled.

"…So…I guess we can watch the movie now huh?" Tori started up still blushing.

"Um…yeah…" Mika agreed.

"…Wow that was awkward…" Rina commented on the sudden interruption.

"I-I'll be in the kitchen cleaning up the fridge" Hitsugaya said as he ran into the kitchen.

"Wait for us!!" The remaining captains shouted out and ran into the kitchen. The girls all huddled together on one side of the room getting ready for the movie. When the captains returned from the 'cleaning up the fridge', the all sat on the opposite of the room. So for the whole entire movie, the room was divided in two just so they could forget about the awkward moment.


	23. Stupid Rumours

"So, taichou how was it last night?" Hisagi smirked as Renji stopped writing on his desk absentmindedly and blushed a faint pink. "Don't you find it coincidental that there were lit candles and a light-saber there?" Hisagi continued on, Renji glared at him. "Don't you think that was the perfect mood setting?" Hisagi smirked, Renji got up from his desk, walked over to Hisagi—maintaining his glare—and dumped all of his work on Hisagi's desk. "Hey you can't do that!" Hisagi protested. "Mika!!" Hisagi yelled.

"Yeah?" Mika asked as she poked her head in the office.

"Look at what your taichou has done!" Hisagi said pointing to the big mounds of work that took over his desk. "Just because I asked about what happened between you and him last night!" Mika left immediately but returned a second later. She walked over to Hisagi's desk and piled all of her unfinished work on top of Renji's. "Hey that's not fair!! I just asked a question!" Hisagi protested.

"A VERY **INAPPROPRIATE** QUESTION!!" Both Renji and Mika shot back before slamming the door on Hisagi.

"So…" Mika started once she and Renji had slammed the door on Hisagi. "…What now?" She asked trying to avoid an awkward moment.

"For some reason, I really feel like playing Torture Tag right now" Renji said as if he were in some sort of trance.

"Really?" Mika asked getting excited

"Yeah, I don't know why though" Renji said looking down at where Mika was.

"TAG YOU'RE IT!!" Mika laughed as she gave a powerful blow to Renji's arm before shunpoing off.

"…OW!!" Renji yelled out after 15 seconds. He ran right after Mika, knowing exactly where she would run off to.

Meanwhile in 10th Division, Tori and Toshiro were staring intently at Rangiku who was innocently doing work—surprisingly! Even though they had heard Renji's shout of pain, they had completely ignored it just to make sure Rangiku didn't start blabbing to the rest of the world about some unnecessary news.

"Why are you guys staring at me?" Rangiku asked looking back and forth and Hitsugaya and Tori. "For once I'm not going to be at fault if the work doesn't get done you know" She reminded them.

"Oh we know! That's why we finished it 2 weeks ago!" Hitsugaya told her.

"…You did?!" Rangiku asked slightly scared at the moment.

"Yup, it's called planning ahead, something that you don't do very often" Tori added on.

"Wait, are you guys staring at me because I'm so pretty?" Rangiku asked thinking that she had figured it out.

"That's the last thing we'd think" Hitsugaya said. Rangiku pouted and called him a big meanie.

"Ok, fine! I won't tell anybody at all about what happened last night" Rangiku surrendered.

"…I don't trust you" Hitsugaya said.

"Me neither" Tori agreed with Toshiro.

"DAMMIT!" Rangiku cursed still trying to run away.

"Okay you know what? Me and Tori will leave this room and forget that you had ever saw _that_" Toshiro said standing up to leave the room.

"Really?" Rangiku asked with a glimmer of hope that reflected in her eyes.

"Yeah but you're gonna have to wear this…" Tori said putting something around Rangiku's neck.

"It's supposed to be for dogs so they don't bark, but since no one has an actual dog we decided to give it to you" Hitsugaya said.

"Aw that's so swe—AH!!" Rangiku screeched in pain.

"Oh yeah, every time you talk, it shocks you" Tori told her.

"That's why it's supposed to be for dogs, to stop them from barking" Hitsugaya smirked as he and Tori left the office to Rangiku who was struggling to remove the device around her neck. As they were walking in the hallways they bumped into an Ukitake that was grinning from ear to ear.

"What do you want?" Hitsugaya asked him boredly.

"So what's this _incident_ that I heard from last night?" He asked smiling.

"You talk about it again I will rip your tongue out!" Hitsugaya threatened.

"Ok, ok!! I was already threatened today you know!" Ukitake said waving his arms and backing away. "Besides, you guys look cute together!" He added on quickly.

"ONE MORE WORD--!!!!" Tori and Hitsugaya threatened him drawing their zanpakutou's and pointing them at him. Ukitake backed away and swore not to tell a soul.

"Hasn't anyone heard of friendship and love?" Tori wondered out loud quite peeved about other people poking into other people's businesses. She hugged Toshiro's arm and laid her head on his shoulder before saying anything more. "Oh by the way," She started, Toshiro looked at her calmly. "You are in so much trouble for quote: **cleaning up the fridge**: unquote" Tori told him.

"Aww…" He whined, and then gave her a soft kiss on the lips

"And sucking up won't help you here" She told him after she had a momentary visit in Lala Land.

"Dammit" He cursed under his breath.

"Hey!" Renji ran up to the two. "If anyone asks where Mika and I are, just say we're visiting friends okay?" He asked.

"Sure, did she start up a game of torture tag?" Hitsugaya asked.

"Yeah, now she's my responsibility!" Renji sighed. "Yeah thanks again, oh and did Ukitake run into you guys and start blabbing about…"

"Yes he did, and we threatened him just to keep his trap shut" Tori informed him.

"Good job!" Renji saluted them. "I just wonder how Byakuya and Rina are gonna take it" He wondered.

* * *

"OH major headache!" Rina moaned slamming her head down on her desk. "Ow"

Byakuya was positioned at the door the whole time since he knew there were eavesdroppers and spies lurking about right outside the door. He had caught a few of them and had threatened them to leave or else they wouldn't live to see another day. Despite that, they just kept piling up outside the door. He gave a sigh and kicked open the door once more. And lo and behold, a bunch of people toppled over and looked up meekly at their captain who was far from satisfied.

"W-We'll be going…" They stammered and crawled away.

"Why are there always people at the door?" Rina asked with a hand on her head.

"Probably because they heard of last night's events due to some 3RD DIVISION LOUDMOUTHS!!!" He yelled down the hallways to make sure there was no one before he shut the door again.

"Last night…? All I remember was that movie that Renji chose and then Rukia yelling at Ichigo and then we threw out the couches…" Rina said with a blurred memory.

"Maybe it's because Mika and Tori broke out into a game of torture tag and we suspected that somebody spiked the punch" Byakuya explained.

"So that's why my arm hurt like hell this morning…" Rina wondered out loud.

"You really don't remember anything from last night then?" Byakuya asked.

"Well aside from the fact that Nariko was the flying kid, and also the fact that you guys had "_**cleaned out the fridge**_", not much really" Rina answered; she then got up from her desk and kicked open the door. "What the hell are you guys doing?" She asked the spying group.

"N-Nothing! We…we were just…p-passing by!" One stammered as the rest laughed nervously and ran off.

"Spying bastards!" Rina muttered as she shut the door again. She looked outside the windows to see some ducking heads and some shinigami shimmying up a rope. She walked over to the windows, looked down threw some useless textbooks on them thus knocking them out sending to the ground in a flash. As for the people above her, she shot some kidou blasts at them sending them to the ground.

"Don't you think that you went overboard?" Byakuya asked looking down at the members that were steaming in a huge crater.

"Nope"

"Oh by the way, here's a reminder of what happened last night" Byakuya said giving Rina a kiss while pulling her into a hug.

"**IN OFFICE AFFAIR**!!" Rikichi shouted out slamming open the door revealing a bunch of curious members of their division. Byakuya and Rina quickly moved away from each other and gave a glare to them sending chills up their spine.

"You hold them down, I'll deal with them" Byakuya whispered over to her.

"Bakudou No. 1!!" Rina paralyzed the curious group with her kidou, their faces automatically turned white from fear. As they couldn't move all they could hope for was that their taichou would go easy on them. However that wasn't the case at all.

"Taichou!? Fukutaichou!? We're really sorry!!" They shouted out very frightened as their captain stalked closer and closer to them. "**AAAGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!**" Their screams of pain and agony were mixed in with the sounds of punches, kicks and various forms of special sound effects you'd hear in a cartoon whenever someone was getting beaten up. All in all, they warned many nearby shinigami not to mess with some certain divisions for the time being.

"Well you know what they say" Rina started. "Curiosity killed the cat, and today that was proved true" She said observing the beaten up members of their division.

"Ukitake-taichou, what business do you have here?" Byakuya asked as he saw his senpai.

"Uhh…well…" Ukitake started, scratching his head looking down at the beaten up shinigami. He was obviously going to ask about the relationship between the captain and lieutenant before him. But once he saw the beaten up members, he automatically switched his mind. 2 against 1 didn't seem very fair and reasonable to him at all. "I was wondering, uh…h-how are you guys?" He asked.

"…Fine, thanks" Both replied slightly confused.

"Ok, that's all I wanted to know!" He said and ran off.

"…Ukitake-taichou hasn't taken his medication yet!" Rina said looking at his figure running off to 5th Division.

"So…what now?" Byakuya asked clueless at what to do for the remainder of the day.

"Go to Hueco Land" Rina suggested.

"No way" Byakuya stated making his point clear.

"I have to get our pets back!" Rina protested.

"Ok…fine" He sighed and followed her to venture in Hueco Mundo once again.

* * *

"MIKA!!!! WHERE ARE YOU DAMMIT?!" Renji yelled out in the barren desert as he was still searching for Mika. He knew it would be hard since the desert seemed as if it never ended. Mika could've been above him, below him, or even behind him for all he knew. He suddenly got the feeling that someone was following him; he turned his head around cautiously to see someone that he feared. "D-DONDOCHAKKA!?" He yelled out surprised.

"RENJI!!!" Dondochakka rejoiced as he hugged him tight. "I thought I was lost til I found you!" He said hugging Renji tighter if that was even possible. "PESSHE AND NEL ARE GONE!! EVEN BAWABAWA!!! THEY LEFT ME!!" He wailed in despair.

"I…wonder…why!" He gasped for air as he struggled to get out of Dondochakka's death grip. "…Do…you…think that you could…let me go?!" He gasped as he tried his best to wrench himself out. He didn't expect that a hollow that had the brain the size of a peanut could be so strong and intimidating.

"But then you'll leave!" Dondochakka wailed squeezing Renji tighter to him.

"I'm gonna die if you don't!" Renji informed him.

"**YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!**" Dondochakka wailed in despair.

"I WILL IF YOU DON'T LET GO!!" Renji howled.

"Hey, let him go even he doesn't deserve it" Byakuya said kicking Dondochakka in the behind. "Owowowowowowowoww…" He moaned clutching his foot. Rina sighed to herself seeing how idiotic a captain could be despite the fact that he was a person of high ranking.

"OHH!! THANK YOU, YOU GUYS!!" Renji thanked the two before him as he inhaled as much air as he could.

"So whatcha doing here?" Rina asked Renji as Byakuya regained his composure and went over to the two.

"Trying to find Mika" He explained looking at the vast desert.

"That's it?" Rina asked. "Here I'll help you" She volunteered.

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!!" Renji bowed down to Rina who in turn backed away from his sudden worship.

Rina took a deep breath and yelled out as loud as she could out into the sky… "MARCO!!"

"POLO!!" A voice that belonged to Mika's shouted back.

"Ok she's this way! I'm going to need this!" Rina said yanking on Byakuya's scarf.

"GAH!" He gagged as his scarf was practically strangling him; it took a while for Rina to figure out why she wasn't going anywhere.

"OMIGOSH! I'm so sorry!! I didn't know!! Sorry!!" Rina apologized repeatedly, bowing down to him as he loosened his scarf that was bound tightly to his neck. "Why do you even wear that in the middle of summer?" Rina asked after.

"The truth, I have no idea" Byakuya replied.

"Yeah well I'm gonna need this" She said pulling out his scarf, this time carefully and slowly so that it would come off without her attempting to strangle her captain. After she got the scarf off she ran off to where Mika's voice was last heard. "HA!" Rina whipped the scarf at a rock and out came Mika bound tight by it.

"Aww…you find me!" She said disappointed.

"FOUND HER!!" Rina yelled out to Renji.

"Hey what are you guys doing here?" Tori asked as she and Hitsugaya walked up to them.

"I was playing Torture Tag" Mika explained.

"I was here to get our pets, what're you doing here?" Rina asked Tori.

Tori looked at Hitsugaya, he looked at her back and both replied. "We dunno"

"You came down here and you don't know why?" Byakuya asked catching up to Rina.

"Yeah…something like that…" Hitsugaya said in a confused tone.

"Whatever I wanna go see Flappy!!" Mika shouted out randomly.

"Uhh…who?" Renji asked.

"Grimmjow?! DuH!" Mika flicked him on the forehead before running off shouting I'M COMING YOU CLOWN FACED FREAKS!!!

* * *

"HIYAS EVERYBODY!!" Mika yelled happily while destroying the door to the arrancar's HQ.

"…Hi?" They answered timidly as they cowered in the shadows.

"Mika!" Renji yelled out, out of breath as he ran up to her. "Do you know how stupid that was?! There are ESPADA here!!" Renji told her.

"Yeah I know! But they're nothing special they just have cool weapons and they look awesome" Mika said calmly.

"You're weird!" Renji exclaimed.

"THANK YA!!" She thanked him before running off in a direction.

"AW MAN!!" Renji cried out loud before running after her.

"Why is Mika so energetic in meeting the Espada again?" Byakuya asked.

"She wants to see Qui-Qui again" Rina answered.

"…Qui-Qui?" Hitsugaya asked.

"ULQUIORRA!" Tori told him.

"QUI-QUI!!! PINOCCHIO!! FLAPPY!!! OTHER DUDES!! WHERE ARE YOU--?!" Mika yelled out happily looking into every room.

"Mika SHUT IT!!" Renji roared clamping his hand over Mika's mouth before she could yell something random out again.

"You're right" Mika sighed after she had calmed down. That took a lot longer than expected since the rest of the group had caught up to them. "The **floors** have **noses**!" Mika exclaimed.

"…Mika it's the **ceilings** have **eyes**!" Renji told her.

"You're both wrong, it's the **walls** have **ears**!" Byakuya told him.

"Yeah that too" Both Mika and Renji answered not quite getting it.

"Come let's just say hi and go" Hitsugaya said pushing open a door revealing the lazy, lounging and notorious Espada.

"I'll have the usual Yammy" Rina said before reclining back into a large sofa. Yammy instantly whipped up a martini and handed it over to her.

"Do you have those little umbrellas you put in drinks?" Tori asked Yammy.

"Yeah, here" He answered and gave her a pile of little umbrellas to keep herself busy with.

Mika dumped out all of the toothpicks out of their dispensers and started making structures out of them. The ones that were forks she used as ammo in case anyone tried to trample her work of art.

"Uhh…guys…espada!" The captains whispered over to the calm and relaxed girls.

"What's your point?" Rina asked concentrating on reading manga.

"Yeah, this is where we always run off to now whenever you guys make us mad" Tori told them.

"Really?" Hitsugaya asked.

"Yeah, and if you guys ever, EVER make them mad or sad, WE'LL TAN YOUR HIDE!!" Grimmjow said threateningly cracking his knuckles whilst the rest of the Espada showed them glares that sent what felt like thousands of toothpicks going straight through their bodies. Little did they know, Mika was pelting them with toothpicks.

"How come you guys care for them?" Renji asked confused.

"Cuz they're like our brothers we never wanted!" Rina answered giving Ulquiorra a little hug. "But they're more like distant cousins though" Rina said lying back onto the couch again.

"…O…K…we promise never to upset them" Hitsugaya said getting accustomed to the death threats.

"Good, cuz they've already destroyed 4 versions of our HQ" Noitora grumbled.

"It's not our fault!" Mika, Rina and Tori retorted innocently.

"Oh by the way, aren't we here to grab your pets?" Byakuya brought up the subject.

"ALL** 256** OF THEM?!" The arrancar asked excitedly.

"No just 3 of them" Renji said meekly as the arrancar groaned disappointed.

It took 1 hour to drag the girls out of the arrancars HQ and another to drag them back to Seireitei. They were quite disappointed to return but they immediately knew something was wrong due to how several shinigami looked at them.

"What's going on?" Mika asked Tori.

"Something tells me that a few morons couldn't shut their trap!" Hitsugaya roared enraged seeing Rangiku with Ikkaku and the rest of her drinking buddies exit a room laughing and continued to chat away. What really gave it away was that Ukitake was there and Rangiku didn't have the 'gift' Tori and Hitsugaya had given her.

"MATSUMOTO!! UKITAKE!!" Hitsugaya yelled not happy at all.

"T-taichou! You're back!" She exclaimed in a cheerful but scared tone.

"What did you guys tell everyone here?" Rina asked her having Hiroshi snapping his jaws protectively at her.

"Nothing much" She answered meekly.

"NOTHING MUCH?! OH YOU TOLD THEM SOMETHING ALRIGHT!!" Tori yelled at her.

"Okay fine! I told them that you guys were dating!" She surrendered; the group sighed relieved knowing that was old news. "And that you guys were harboring their child" She continued on timidly backing off slowly.

"WHAT?!" They shrieked totally not in the mood to deal with her antics.

"YOU ACTUALLY SAID THAT?!" Rukia asked walking up to her with Ichigo by her side.

"It was just a little white lie!" She protested.

"You don't see us blabbing behind your back when it comes to you and Gin!" Ichigo added on, everyone snapped their heads towards Rangiku.

"Well…now that you mention it…" Renji sneered having a mischievous look on his face that somehow found its way to everyone else's.

"What'd you guys say?" Rangiku asked with horror.

"Consider us even" Hitsugaya smirked before walking away calmly with the rest.

"NO SERIOUSLY WHAT DID YOU GUYS SAY?" Rangiku hollered down the hallway.

"Face it Rangiku," Rukia started putting a hand on her shoulder. "Your lifespan has been cut in two" She told her before leaving with Ichigo.


	24. Celebration of RICE!

"Uhh!!" Rukia groaned as she rubbed her stomach. "This baby is kicking around so much lately!!" She moaned as she had to bear with it.

"Congratulations! It's a Renji!" Mika congratulated Rukia somewhat.

"That doesn't really help knowing that he'll grow up to a hot-headed freak!" Rukia told Mika.

"Oh speak of the devil" Mika smirked pointing at the doorway where a fuming Renji stood.

"Oh so I'm the hot-headed freak? What about your husband?" Renji asked Rukia.

"OH shut up Renji!" Rukia scolded him and threw a textbook at him which landed at his gut, knocking him over.

"Speaking of babies, did you get a ultrasound done to see if it's a boy or girl?" Ukitake asked walking around the crippled red head that was hogging the entrance to the room.

"Yeah, we have the results but we want to keep it a surprise when it gets delivered" Rukia explained.

"So when's your wedding going to be held on?" Ukitake asked curiously.

"Soon, Rina and nii-sama are getting the rice bags ready—oh wait I should remind to make sure it's uncooked rice or Ichigo will start eating it all" Rukia rolled her eyes, getting up from her seat.

"I'll go tell them" Renji offered clutching his torso. "Nothing's scarier than a pregnant woman" He muttered dashing off towards 6th Division.

"How soon really?" Mika asked curiously.

"Less than a month" Rukia replied.

"Oh thanks for the warning notice!" Ukitake groaned.

"What happened to the memo I left on your desk?" Rukia asked looking at his desk that was littered with paper cranes. "I don't think Kiyone and Sentarou understand that you're not on your deathbed" Rukia commented on his desk of cranes.

* * *

"Hey Rukia told me to remind you guys not to fill the bags with cooked rice" Renji said walking straight through the doors as if it were made of water.

"We're not THAT stupid" Rina told him.

"And while you're here," Byakuya started throwing a couple bags at Renji. "Help us out here, Ichigo gave us a lot of rice and he expects us to bag it all up by the end of the day" Byakuya said.

"Why do we have to waste perfectly good food on those guys?" Renji sighed as he started helping out.

"They said it's both throw rice and money at them or we don't go" Rina explained.

"But I don't want to go!" Renji whined.

"Too bad, Ichigo decided that you're the best man" Byakuya told him.

"Aw what? He should really leave messages!!" Renji groaned banging his head against the wall.

"He said that he left 32 messages on your answering machine" Rina told him.

"SO he's the moron hogging up all the space on it!"

"Don't you ever check it?"

"Not since the microwave incident, I'm not sure what happens if I press a button now!"

"Someone's paranoid" Rina rolled her eyes at Renji's strange phobia.

"Wouldn't it be funny if we actually threw cooked rice at them?" Renji asked getting a mental image.

"It'd turn into a food fight and you and Ichigo would eat it all whether or not if it was on the floor" Byakuya told him.

"No I wouldn't!" Renji argued.

"Then why are you eating that?" Rina asked Renji who was nibbling on raw grains of rice.

"Oh what--?!"

* * *

"I'm…so…proud!!" Isshin sobbed as he hugged his son's head which ultimately scared Hinamori and the rest of the division off.

"Dad, knock it off!" Ichigo told him and elbowed him in the gut.

"To think, that my son would get married so soon! One minute you're teaching them how to get an old man angry and the next thing you know, he's left the nest!" He cried and blew his nose.

"Ugh…would you at least give me breathing space?" Ichigo asked.

"Ichigo, remember when you were little you thought you were adopted?" Isshin asked being as serious as he could get.

"Yeah because that's what you told me" Ichigo reminded him.

"Err…yeah well um…there's something I want to give to you" Isshin said after a moment of stammering.

"Please tell me it's not a fake sutra charm that obviously doesn't work" Ichigo begged.

"…Why in the world would I give you that?" Isshin asked quite confused.

"Cuz that's what you gave me for my 13th birthday and how should I know?!" Ichigo asked.

"Well…anywho…here" Isshin handed Ichigo something that wasn't huge in size but meant a lot to the two of them.

"…Why is it I can't remember when this was taken?" Ichigo asked his dad as he saw a family picture of them where they were all smiling and just happy without a care in the world.

"I accidentally dropped you causing you to have amnesia" Isshin replied quickly.

"Knowing you, you probably did" Ichigo muttered. "Arigatou" He said after a moment of silence and tipped his chair back to lean against the wall.

"Heh, no problem…"

"…Hinamori, you and Hisagi can come out now" Ichigo said after a brief moment of silence.

"Oh thank god!" She gasped as she emerged out of an empty trunk in the division. "It was getting really hot in there" She said as she fanned herself lightly.

"Well it was worth it" Hisagi said with a…lampshade on his head. He had been disguising himself as a lamp; the only way it had worked was that there was a lot of junk in the room so his body was hidden behind it.

"You guys are creepy" Ichigo commented on their subtle hiding places. "Don't you guys have work to do?" He asked them.

"Well…I would but since your daddy is here I can't really work right now" Hinamori told him.

"My taichou sauntered off somewhere, and I don't work unless he's working otherwise it wouldn't be fair" Hisagi said.

"That idiot Renji, where the hell did he go?"

* * *

"…I'm just saying there's no need to start chucking perfectly good food at people that can afford it. I understand giving food to the poor but seriously, at a wedding? I mean come on!" Renji pointed out as he threw a tiny pouch of rice with the others at a growing pile.

"Well it's what the two want, so we should respect that" Rina said and tossed a bag over, unfortunately Renji's head was in the way and it collided on his head.

"Very funny" He mumbled as he tossed it aside.

"Sorry!" Rina apologized somewhat trying not to laugh as a million other bags came flying over to Renji's direction.

"Rina!" Renji yelled out.

"It's not her, it's your beloved subordinate" Byakuya said pointing to Rikichi hiding behind the couch.

"Rikichi, out!" Renji ordered.

"Aww…okay…" Rikichi sighed as he trudged out of the room. "Oh by the way, Ichigo and Rukia say that once you guys use all the rice during the wedding, they want it back. Something about making rice pudding outta it…" Rikichi told them as he left.

"…Eww…" The 3 shuddered from the thought.

"Bad news peoples!!" Ichigo shouted out as he stormed into the office area.

"It's always bad news whenever you're around" Byakuya muttered to himself.

"What happened?" Mika asked tagging behind Ichigo as she had heard Ichigo's yell of fear.

"Someone's in trouble!" Tori sang out child-like as she dropped down onto the couch right beside Rina.

"…Where do you guys come from?" Ichigo asked looking around the room to see if there was anyone else that would appear out of nowhere.

"You seem tense" Hitsugaya commented as he appeared right behind Ichigo.

"What the hell is going on with you people?!" Ichigo asked as he whipped around to face Hitsugaya. "Are you guys plotting something?" He asked the group suspiciously.

"Why would we want to plot something—against you especially?" Renji asked dumbfounded.

"You guys look kinda…devious..." Ichigo said.

"We are not devious" Everyone else in the room replied somewhat offended.

"You guys sure look it" Ichigo pointed out.

"Whatever! Just get on with your issues!" Tori shouted out.

"We're gonna be here forever then" Hitsugaya sighed as he sat down on a couch.

Ichigo gave a quick, short but meaningful glare towards the captain that had just commented. "I think Rukia's mad at me" Ichigo told them. They were silent and just stared at him. "…I knew I shouldn't have told you guys…" Ichigo muttered at the wide-eyed corpses that were his friends staring at him. "…I knew you guys would look at me like that…" Ichigo spoke up louder than he previously had. "…stop it!" He told them.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" They started laughing their heads off all of a sudden.

"Wha--?" Ichigo asked obviously confused.

"You just seem so surprised that Rukia would get mad at you!" Mika laughed out.

"Whaddya mean?" Ichigo asked looking around the room to see if there were any hidden cameras set up in the room.

"It's called mood swings; it happens usually whenever someone's pregnant." Rina explained. "That or you actually did piss her off for what ever reason there is"

"Oh…that explains it…" Ichigo mumbled to himself. "Oh, you guys are almost done with the rice bags right?" Ichigo asked pointing at the pile.

"Do you even know how much rice you gave us?" Byakuya asked pointing to 1 and a half tubs of rice.

"Well, if I were to decide, we've done more than enough" Rina said standing up.

"Well it's not up to you so get back to work!" Ichigo ordered.

"I would if you were my taichou" Rina said smartly. "Alright, who's hungry?!" Rina asked the group.

"ME!" Everyone raised their hands.

Immediately Rina hijacked the half full tub of rice and ran to the kitchen.

"HEY!" Ichigo shouted after her, shaking a threatening fist. "Wait a minute, where are you guys going?" Ichigo asked the group leaving the room that was occupied.

"To do our things, there's no way we'd continue your rice bag crap" Renji said as he shoved past Ichigo.

"But!!" Ichigo started as everyone started to leave.

"OH REJOICE!" Tori and Mika yelled out and both dumped the full tub of rice at Ichigo. "Just think of that as prep" Tori said as she threw the empty tub at Ichigo's head.

"Gee…thanks" He said muffled as the some of the rice had entered his mouth.

"Hey Ai-Ai!" Tori saluted to the passing Aizen.

"Hey" He waved back. "Oh. My. God." Aizen said and stopped in his tracks in front of Ichigo as if he had just discovered something.

"What?" Ichigo asked spitting out grains of rice.

"When you guys captured me and the other 2 buffoons, what did you guys do with the Hougyoku?" He asked Mika and Tori.

"Uh…we kinda forgot about it and left it…" Mika answered.

"Uh-oh…" Ichigo said timidly thinking what the reckless arrancar would do with it.

"YAY!" Tori and Mika cheered throwing up grains of rice into the air for celebration while confetti fluttered down, bright lights flashed, and happy dance music blared at random.

"What's so good about that?!" Ichigo asked.

"WE GET TO GO TO HUECO LAND--!!" Mika sang out happily as a mariachi band popped out of nowhere. "Hey you guys are messing up the dance music!" She told the mariachi band.

"AH fine we'll go…adios!" They said and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"…I'm scared" Tori commented on the freaky conversation that only lasted for 5 seconds.

"Hey guess what!" Tori jumped up in front of Rina who was munching away on a bowl of rice.

"You grew 1 foot?" Rina guessed slightly surprised at Tori's sudden reaction.

"Did I?" Tori asked excitedly.

"I dunno you look…taller…" Rina commented.

"YAY!!!" She squealed and jumped up and down happily.

"..OW." A muffled voice groaned as Tori landed. Rina looked down to see a flattened Ichigo submerged in what seemed to be rice.

"Kurosaki-taichou?" Rina asked curiously and poked up. "…That sounds weird, Kurosaki-taichou…" She started to ponder.

"You'll get used to the formality" He said as Tori kept jumping up and down even though she was clearly aware of Ichigo.

"No I mean you have a weird name" Rina reworded. "Kurosaki-taichou…makes you sound old!" She giggled as Tori kept on rejoicing while shouting out BANZAI; meanwhile Mika was shooting rice into the air keeping the celebration alive.

"Oh yeah, we're gonna hafta go back to Hueco Land" Tori said as she kept on bouncing.

"Why?" Rina asked taking a bite of her food.

"Remember the Hougyoku?" Tori asked. "We kinda left it and we kinda have to go and get it before anything stupid happens" She explained.

"Didn't we install a security system to lock the doors on that room?" Rina asked puzzled.

"…Did we?" Tori asked.

"We might've…" Mika said now chucking fistfuls of rice at Aizen who was fighting it off with his hands.

"Let's ponder this" Aizen said and immediately everyone stopped what they were doing and started to think.

"…What're you guys doing?" Hitsugaya asked as he passed by.

"Not now. Pondering." Tori told him.

"…About what?" He asked getting more confused by the second.

"I forget" She answered.

"…Then why are you pondering?" He asked.

"I dunno"

"…Then quit it"

"Ok!" She saluted and then continued jumping up and down on Ichigo's body.

Hitsugaya looked down at the mass that was Ichigo. "Are you okay down there?" He asked not really caring for Ichigo's wellbeing. Ichigo gave a thumbs up to him signaling that he was indeed alright. "Ok then, I'll be leaving now" Hitsugaya decided and proceeded to get pass the celebrating shinigami.

"Ah who cares, let's go to Hueco Land anyways!" Mika said and started to throw more than rice at Aizen. Hitsugaya stopped in his tracks and looked at Mika who unfortunately for him, threw rice into his eyes.

"AAAH!" He yelped from his temporary blindness. "You're gonna go to Hueco Mundo? Again?" He asked.

"Yeah we kinda ditched the poor little Hougyoku" Mika explained.

"Get permission from soutaichou first then" He instructed her.

"I'll go" Rina volunteered. "The kitchen's on the way anyways" She muttered to herself.

* * *

"No!" Yamamoto boomed.

"Kay, suit yourself if you want Soul Society to say 'Bye-bye'!" Rina muttered as she decided to leave. Even if Yamamoto would've let them, they'd be gone in a heartbeat.

"Hold it!" He shouted out suddenly. For an old person, he could sure yell.

"Yeah?" She asked as she turned her head back.

"You can only go if there is a captain accompanying you guys" He said.

"Gotcha—Aizen, Gin and Tousen are coming with us" She replied and almost made it to the door right when Yamamoto shouted something out again.

"A captain that is currently alive, working and isn't plotting something behind my back" He reworded.

"…There wouldn't be any—I mean…I'll get Hitsugaya-taichou, Abarai-taichou and Kuchiki-taichou to come along!" She said quickly and ran out the door.

Back with Yamamoto, he looked around the room uneasily and asked his fukutaichou. "Are people really plotting something?" Sasakibe shrugged, Yamamoto sighed and decided to get some rest.

* * *

"ALRIGHT SO IT'S DECIDED! WE LEAVE AT 6 AM SHARP TOMORROW!! MEET AT THE DOOR/GATE/PASSAGEWAY THING…ANY QUESTIONS? NO? OK! DISMISSED!!" Mika yelled through a megaphone even though the people who she was talking to (Tori, Rina, Renji, Byakuya, Hitsugaya, Aizen, Gin and Tousen) were very close to her. The meeting she had called ended in exactly 5.25 seconds; no one had the chance to complain as Mika obviously didn't allow them to complain at all.

"6 AM Mika?" Rina whined. "Couldn't you settle for 12 PM?" She asked.

"You don't even sleep in til that time!" Mika retorted.

"True, but still…6 AM?!" Rina asked again.

"Yeah, deal with it" Mika said leaving Rina having to set her alarm clock 3 hours earlier.

"Shouldn't we call in advance?" Tori piped up.

"Nah! We'll just surprise them when they see their daddy…'s" Mika said.

"…That sounds so wrong" Tori and Rina commented at the same time.


	25. Hougyoku Retrieval

_Already past 1000 hits for this story! WOW!! Thanks for sticking with me you guys!! (throws candy and confetti to readers)_

* * *

_BEEP! BEEP! _Rina's alarm blared loudly for the 10th time. She was hitting the _Snooze_ button for the last 9 times, it was way too early for her to wake up.

"Hey Rina, it's time to get—AH!" Mika yelped as an object made contact with her face knocking her down. She lay at the entrance of the room twitching from the sudden contact. Tori walked by and looked at the twitchy girl.

"Mika, you okay?" Tori asked poking Mika with her light saber that Mika was wielding for a strange, strange reason. "Uhh…okay then, Rina get your ass outta bed!" Tori scolded her friend.

"Fine" She sighed and got up and nearly tripped over Mika's twitching body. "What happened to you? And why is my alarm clock in your face?" She asked clueless at her previous zombie-like actions.

"Funny you should mention that" Mika stated sarcastically as she chucked the alarm clock back into the room. "C'mon, we have 10 minutes before we need to leave" Mika said standing up.

Even though the sun had already risen and had illuminated the household, it still felt like nighttime to them. They decided that they would just appear a little later at 5 minutes max. It wasn't like they were going to get a huge lecture for being 5 minutes late. Besides, who'd want to wake up at 6 AM anyways? The whole mission would merely take an hour, 2 at the most so basically what was the rush?

"…5 minutes is up" Mika yawned.

"…10 more minutes please!" Tori pleaded.

"Sure thing" Rina agreed.

After their short-lived 10 minutes, they refused to leave. Their minds were screaming out "let's go!" while their bodies lay lifeless, resisting the urge to move to the door.

"Can we just say its Daylight Savings and show up at 7?" Rina asked.

"But won't they know that it's not Daylight Savings?" Tori questioned.

"That's where we say that all holidays and all those special days were switched" Rina told her. "Knowing them, at least half of them would believe us" She said.

"Alright then, from this moment forward, it's Daylight Savings!" Mika declared groggily. "Halloween's on Easter, Christmas is on New Year's, New Year's is on Halloween, Easter is on Christmas, Labor Day is gone, Mardi Gras is on Groundhog Day, Groundhog Day is on July 1st, Hanukkah is on March 14th, Saint Paddy's Day is on May 12th, and "Soul Society Day" is now officially on June 6th!" Mika said amazingly all in one breath.

"Sure let's go with that" Tori said before falling asleep once again.

* * *

**7AM**

"…You guys are an hour late…" Renji grumbled as he and the other captains were clearly ready to go.

"…What's your point?" Tori asked content since her energy was up to maximum.

"We forgot that it was daylight savings, and didn't change the time" Mika told them.

"…Daylight Savings isn't until a few months from now" Hitsugaya told her.

"No you see, all holidays and those special little days have been switched around" Mika explained. "Halloween's on Easter, Christmas is on New Year's, New Year's is on Halloween, Easter is on Christmas, Labor Day is gone, Mardi Gras is on Groundhog Day, Groundhog Day is on July 1st, Hanukkah is on March 14th, Saint Paddy's Day is on May 12th, and "Soul Society Day" is now officially on June 6th" Mika told them rushed.

"…eh?" The captains asked confused.

"Oh whatever! Let's go already!" Rina told them and literally kicked the captains into the gate thingamajiggy.

* * *

"Wow…doesn't look so different than the last time I was here…" Aizen commented on the desert.

"I don't see anything" Tousen spoke up.

"...Ichimaru, what the hell are you doing?" Hitsugaya asked Gin who was sitting on the sand making some sort of sculpture.

"Making a sandman" He answered.

"Aren't those monsters that attack you when you sleep or something?" Renji asked.

"No!" Gin said looking up at Renji. "This is a sandman, like a snowman but with sand" He explained.

"Exactly!" A tiny little voice squeaked out that came from the ground.

"Huh?" Everyone looked down at Gin's sandman who was alive.

"Oh my god, Renji was right!" Mika exclaimed as she jumped back to his side. "…That's not a good sign! Are you feeling okay?" She asked Renji as she pressed her palm onto his forehead.

"I'm perfectly fine!" He said and got Mika to remove her hand.

"You should name him Frosty" Tori told Gin. "…No wait, Sandy!"

"Uhh…how about Fred and let's go!" Rina decided as she clung to Byakuya's arm fearfully as the seemingly harmless sandman grew to a preposterous size.

"GIN THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS!!" Aizen yelled at Gin who was scratching his head in puzzlement. "THIS IS WHY I TELL YOU NOT TO MAKE THINGS!!" Aizen yelled as he dragged his stunned friend away from the sandman's fist.

"Oh look, he likes you Aizen-sama!" Gin pointed out to Aizen who couldn't care less for something so trivial. "See ya latta Fred!" Gin waved to the sandman who waved and seemed to be crying or something. Right after he had said his farewells to his buddy, he realized that there was a hat perched upright on the monster's head. "HEY WAIT A MINUTE!!" Gin yelled out.

"I AIN'T LISTENING TO YOU!" Aizen yelled out, after all if Gin hadn't started reliving his childhood, they wouldn't have to run away from a rampaging beast.

---

"Wow, we got here pretty fast" Renji said looking up at the building before him.

"Yeah…thanks to Gin's…creation!" Mika said as she panted heavily.

"Ok, Aizen you lead the way" Hitsugaya said once everyone pulled themselves together.

"Why me?" He asked.

"This isn't the time to be asking something so trivial right now" Byakuya said to him in a pretty dangerous sounding tone.

"Gin you lead the way" Aizen decided.

"…I dun wanna" He huffed out like he was suddenly a 5 year old being defiant to their parent.

"Tousen" Aizen called out getting impatient.

"I can't see" He informed him.

"Is that your excuse to everything?" Aizen asked.

"Hey, being blind has advantages!" Tousen told him.

"Alright fine…" Aizen sighed and led the way.

---

"Everything looks the same" Renji commented on the same old doors on the same old walls that made up the same old hallways. "How can you tell if you're going into circles?" He wondered.

"Here's your answer: You don't" Mika answered his question.

"Hey Starrk" Aizen stopped to talk to an Espada that looked as if he were ready for bed. That or he had just gotten out of bed. "Where is everyone?" Aizen asked. "I haven't seen anybody but you"

"Still sleeping, pigging out or I dunno" He yawned. "Oh look, you brought normal people this time" He said noticing the group that was with Aizen.

All the captains/ex-captains tried to stifle a laugh; however it didn't work out so well. Starrk looked confused, but then again it wasn't much different from his lazy, spaced-out look he always wore.

"Well, I guess I'll explain" Tori laughed innocently as the captains retreated to a corner to finish their laughing fit. "We're far from normal" She said and pointed to Rina and Mika. "We kinda drive people crazy; ask Flappy and Qui-Qui!" She told him.

"Oh right, you guys are the people that came and defeated Aizen, now I remember you guys!" He said remembering the not-so-long fight that wasn't so long ago.

"…Didn't we give you a name?" Mika asked.

"You probably did but I wasn't paying attention" He yawned.

"Oh whatever, you know where the Hougyoku is?" Rina asked him.

"Hmm…you guys gonna steal it?" He asked.

"Weeelll…something like that…" Mika started. "But we need it so we don't say _sayonara_ forever" She finished.

"Ok, I get it…it's the 5th room on the left" He pointed down the hallway, and walked off most likely to go to bed or just do nothing.

"Hey are you guys done yet?" Tori called out to the giggling bunch that was occupying a corner.

"We'll be there!" They yelled out, trying to keep a straight face for more than 1 second.

"Ok, first task, an arrow pad" Mika said clapping her hands together ready to open up the first door to get the Hougyoku. The arrow pad was basically 4 buttons with arrow signs on them.

"Ok so what's the combination?" Renji asked.

"…"

"Don't tell me you forgot!" Gin yelled out fearfully.

"…Yeah…about that…" Mika laughed nervously.

"Hmm…" Tori started to think.

"Oh wait!" Rina called out suddenly.

"You remembered!?" Byakuya asked.

"Up, down, down, right, left, up, left, right, down, left, left, and right!" She muttered as she punched in the combination. They had expected the door to open to their glory however that wasn't the case.

"…How come the door's not opening?" Tousen asked not hearing some huge sound that would come from a door that was either closing or opening.

"Cuz that's not what I was going for!" Rina told them. "I can't think without a latte!" She told them as a compartment in the wall opened up revealing a latte. "Hmm…" She started to think once she took a sip. "I got nothing"

"Oh wait!" Mika punched in a combination.

**_[Access denied]_**

Suddenly the floor started to shake violently, the lights flickered on and off repeatedly all they could hear was a low rumbling noise that was getting louder and louder. The shaking became so violent that the ceilings seemed to almost give away at any moment. The shinigami looked at each other in confusion, wondering what was going on. Suddenly they heard a creak and something made contact with the floor. The rumbling grew louder and louder; they saw something approach them at the end of the hallway. It was small, but it grew fast!

"OH you are kidding me!" Mika exclaimed seeing a large boulder come rolling straight in their path. "That's weak!" Mika yelled out thinking that there would be better traps.

"Not the time Mika, it's time to RUN!!" Renji shouted as he dragged her and joined in with the rest of the group that was running for their life. They made a quick turn around the corner, getting out of the boulder's path. However 10 unlucky arrancar were roaming about in the hallway, they didn't notice it until it was too late. The boulder just rammed right through them and kept rolling until it hit the wall.

"STRIKE!!" Gin yelled out as he saw the flattened arrancar.

"ALRIGHT!! LET'S DO THAT AGAIN!!" Mika cheered and got up ready to punch something else in.

"OHHHH NO YOU DON'T!" Renji yelled at her and held her back from getting any closer to the pad.

"Here I'll put something in this time" Tori decided and punched something in.

**_[Access denied]_**

"Oh well" Tori shrugged as spikes appeared on the ceilings.

"Umm…" Everyone whimpered and huddled close together. The spikes then fell and would impale anything or anyone underneath.

"…Are we dead?" Hitsugaya asked as he raised an eyelid, scanning his surroundings.

"If you're dead then so are we" Byakuya spoke up.

"…How come we're alive?" Aizen asked wondering.

"The spikes should've got us…" Tori said looking up.

_"You guys owe us big time"_

_"Don't think we'd help you guys again"_

_"How pathetic"_

3 masculine voices spoke out suddenly, in the tone of superiority.

"Aww…how cute…a family reunion!" Renji said in a mocking tone towards the 3 ex-captains.

"Shut it Abarai!" Aizen snapped at him.

"What's so wrong seeing your Espada children?" Tori asked innocently.

"…Makes me wonder who the mommy is" Hitsugaya muttered. "…EW WHY DID I SAY THAT?" He scolded himself right as he said it.

"Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, Nnoitra…nice to see you again…" Aizen muttered.

"…It's nice to see you too old man!" Grimmjow said and slapped him in the back…a little too hard. Aizen fell to the ground in a crater from the sudden slap. "…Whoops…" Aizen got up, dusted himself off and acted as if that hadn't happened.

"Geez…I can't believe we actually saw you as a leader" Noitora said in disgust. "You sure have gotten weak"

"Well excuse us! You really can't do anything once you're in rehab ya know!" Gin told him.

"Ulquiorra, you gonna say something?" Grimmjow asked his brother.

"…You've aged" Ulquiorra commented on the 3 former leaders. Their jaws dropped down in surprise, they immediately went into the fetal position and started sulking in a corner under their cloud of gloom.

"…What a man…" Mika shook her head.

"Alright, back to this stupid door" Renji grumbled and punched in random arrow signs.

**_[Access verified]_**

"…Whoa…what did I do?" Renji asked feeling quite superior.

"Voice activated password…" Rina sighed when the first door slid open to reveal another door.

"This is gonna take a while" Mika sighed as well.

"What's wrong with Aizen?" Grimmjow asked poking his 'father'.

"Aizen's a girl" Hitsugaya said.

**_[Password accepted]_**

"The hell--?!" Everyone gaped as the door slid open revealing another door.

"How many doors are there?" Byakuya asked them curiously.

"One more after this…the rest are all passwords" Rina told him.

"Nice going Shiro-chan!" Tori congratulated her captain.

"Hmph, it was nothing" He replied feeling very triumphant.

"Oh wait…I know this one, I set this one myself!" Mika shouted out happily. She took a deep breath and shouted as loud as she could. "RENJISANIDIOTANDAMORONANDAPIGANDHISMOMSTILLDRESSESHIM!!" Mika shouted out.

**_[Password accepted]_**

"MIKA!" Renji yelled out ready to explode.

"Hey nobody would've gotten that one!" Mika retorted.

"True…but couldn't it have been something else?" He whined.

"No"

"I'm hungry…" Gin whined, but then again it was nearing noon so no one could really blame him.

"Whaddya want for lunch then?" Hitsugaya asked.

"How bout Greek food?" He suggested.

"Oh I love Greek food!" Aizen exclaimed suddenly which startled most of them. "Is it Italian?" He then asked.

"Aizen, _Greek_ food" Hitsugaya told him in a slower tone.

"I know, but is it Italian?" He asked.

"**GREEK**... food..." He repeated even slower than the previous ones.

"But is it ITALIAN?"

"**_GR-EE-K_**...food"

"Is it _**I-TA-LI-AN**_?"

"Taco" Tousen said quietly.

"Oh **Greek** food!" Aizen exclaimed suddenly realizing what he was saying.

"This is the evil mastermind that was gonna destroy us all…wow…" Tori exclaimed sarcastically.

"TACO!" Tousen yelled out.

**_[Password accepted]_**

"OH YEAH! What'd I win?" He asked excitedly.

Everyone stared at him incredulously from his sudden outburst. He was not himself at all. Byakuya walked over to him and asked. "Who are you and what did you do with the real Tousen?" Tousen stared at him blankly…wait he's blind…whatever he just stared at him (try to envision that).

"It's me, Tousen Kaname, former Kyubantai taichou" He said. "But what'd I win?" He asked again.

"Pride" Byakuya told him.

"What? Oh that sucks!" He sighed.

They looked onward towards the dark room where the Hougyoku rested. The tiny little orb seemed as if it were emitting a holy light since it stood out from the dark room. It was really hard to believe something so tiny could be so dangerous.

_"Haha fear me!"_ A tiny high-pitched voice squeaked.

"Huh?" Everyone looked around for the source of the voice.

"I, the great Hougyoku will destroy all of you hahahahaha!!" The voice squeaked.

"Hougyoku? Is that you?" Mika asked and stared at the little orb.

"Yes!" 'Hougyoku' replied.

"It's alive?" Aizen asked. "I always thought it was inanimate"

"That's cuz you were always an evil bastard that didn't care for others!" It squeaked quite angrily.

"Wait a minute…" Aizen grew suspicious of the talking orb. His hand suddenly shot out and grabbed Grimmjow's wrist. "What's with the sock puppet Grimmjow?" He asked the Espada that had a sock puppet on his hand, the one which Aizen was gripping onto.

"You're hurting me" He (the sock puppet) wailed and faked dead.

"Quit fooling around" Aizen hissed and let go of Grimmjow's wrist. "Come on, just take the stupid thing and let's go" He decided.

* * *

"So…how are you gonna destroy it?" Urahara asked Mayuri clueless. Even though he had created the Hougyoku, he couldn't find a way to destroy it, not then and not even now.

"This will take a while…" He sighed not expecting so tedious right after he got out of the hospital.

"Oh that's easy! Even every moron would know what to do!" Tori exclaimed suddenly as she had popped up out of nowhere.

"Would you quit doing that?" Urahara asked with a hand clutched at where his heart was located.

"HYAAAA!!" Tori shouted out as she slammed a sledgehammer down onto the Hougyoku.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Both Urahara and Mayuri shrieked. Fearing what the outcome would be, they ran out of the division and ran to Rukongai as fast as they could.

"What's their problem?" Tori wondered as she lifted the sledgehammer off of what used to be the Hougyoku that now lay in pieces.

"Nothing happened?" Urahara asked after he and the captain had waited 5 minutes out in Rukongai, half-expecting a huge explosion. "Maybe we were wrong" He said, and the 2 decided to head back. "Tori…did anything happen to the Hougyoku after you smashed it?" Urahara asked her once he had returned.

"Nope!" She said innocently and ran off.

"Well if nothing happened I guess it's safe to go back in" Kurotsuchi said with a sigh of relief.

_**KABOOM!**_

Right as Urahara and Kurotsuchi stepped a foot into the division, the whole entire division blew up from the Hougyoku's reaction. Fragments of rubble started flying all over the skies; people had mistaken them for shooting stars even though it was plain day. Luckily, almost nobody was around the division at the time, so nobody was severely hurt. Oh and Urahara and Mayuri weren't hurt either, they were just surprised and covered in dust.

---

"Ken-chan! Look, a shooting star!" Yachiru exclaimed pointing at the rubble that was flying through the sky.

"Make a wish Rukia" Ichigo said as he and Rukia were on the rooftops clearly slacking off from their work.

"Wow, you don't see that everyday" Byakuya commented as he looked out the window.

"I just hope none of them hit us" Rina remarked on the display of flying objects.

"UFO!!!" Sentarou yelled as Kiyone started taking pictures of it for every second.

"I can see perfectly!" Ukitake yelled out, tired from the constant yelling that was going on. "…Where did they go?" He asked once he realized that he was yelling to no one.

"We come in peace!!" He could hear Kiyone's and Sentarou's shouts of peacemaking from the outside. He sighed and locked all the doors and windows so he would be able to actually get some quiet time. "TAICHOU!!" Both 3rd seaters yelled out and banged on the doors as they wanted entry, Ukitake just ignored them.


	26. Evaluation Day

With the Hougyoku finally removed from the existence of the world, everything seemed quite peaceful. However, even with alliances with some arrancar of Hueco Mundo, hollows were still roaming around the human world constantly. There was no 'contract' that clearly stated that hollows weren't allowed to 'terrorize' so of course it was quite normal. With all the hollows appearing it was a great time to test some new recruits and the old ones just to see if they truly did earn that respective title. As usual, newcomers were treated to the traditional test to fight off a minor hollow. Those shinigami-in-training had left early in the morning with 3 high-ranking shinigami. Just to escape the tragedy of death's in this test, they had made sure that the shinigami were able to fend off 2 or 3 hollows quickly.

"Looks like we'll be busy today" Isane sighed as she read the memo on Unohana's desk.

"Yes, we sure will be. After all today is the day where everyone gets tested to see if they truly do earn their rank" She sighed as she turned back to look out the window. "Be ready Isane, we're going to be very busy today"

"Hai"

* * *

"All right, all of you get into a straight single file line so we can get started!" Rangiku yelled over the murmur of the crowd of people she had to spar today. They quickly formed into a line upon hearing their fukutaichou's voice. However, the line wasn't up to her expectations, her eye twitched at the sight of the messy lineup. "DOES THAT LOOK LIKE A STRAIGHT LINE TO YOU!?" She asked yelling at them. "THAT'S A _WAVY_ LINE, I ASKED FOR A _STRAIGHT_ LINE!!" She yelled furiously.

"Matsumoto, just get on with it" Hitsugaya sighed impatiently.

His job was the same as any captain, evaluate the shinigami. Of course they could intervene if they wanted to but they only had to watch. The only circumstance as to why they would want to intervene would be if a homicidal psychopath that had obviously 2 pots of coffee wouldn't stop fighting until the death; _then_ they could step in. All lieutenants had the harsh job of fighting every single person in their division until everyone was evaluated. Most of the people that had to fight were people that had just graduated from the academy and were assigned to a division only a few months ago. Some were nervous of the thought having to fight someone at a high level while some weren't. People in 11th Division weren't scared at all seeing that they had to fight a little kid. Little did they know, they were going to have one hell of a time trying to dodge Yachiru's attacks.

"Right…well…I'm Matsumoto Rangiku, for those who know me…hi! And for those who don't…hi anyways! You'll all fight me today unless you faint or die or something along those lines. You come one by one and fight me until I say you're done. Ok? Any questions?" She asked after explaining what to do. One shinigami raised his hand nervously.

"Who's the shrimp behind you?" He asked nervously. Hitsugaya flinched at stared daggers into the man's head.

"That is our captain, Hitsugaya Toshiro. Here's a tip, don't make fun of his size or else he'll send you to the hospital in a flash!" She warned them as they gulped in fear.

---

"Ok, you can use your zanpakutou's, kidou…anything! Ok? START!" Ukitake shouted out as he fought each member one by one. Rukia normally would be fighting them however, Ichigo had clearly said to Ukitake, orally and in writing in 5 different languages, including sign language, Morse code and in Egyptian hieroglyphs, that Rukia would not fight until the baby was delivered. She had the easy job of sitting back and watch. Even though Ukitake had his tuberculosis to deal with, he felt pretty healthy and was able to fight for the day.

"Hey taichou, go easy on them!" Rukia told her captain as she watched the pile of unconscious shinigami grow and grow very quickly.

"I'm not even using a fraction of my strength!" He told her as he knocked out another shinigami. "I might as well start flicking them so they can put up a fight" He sighed.

"Bakudou No. 1!" The shinigami who was currently sparring shouted out.

"Uh-oh" Ukitake groaned as he was restrained. Rukia started laughing at him for falling prey to such a weak but effective bakudou. "Oh like you're perfect!" He yelled to Rukia who regained her composure. He quickly broke the spell and dodged the swing of a zanpakutou as he jumped behind the shinigami and knocked him out. "Well he put up a fight…a bit…"

"You know I think I might've been able to fight this people…" Rukia thought to herself silently as Ukitake kept fighting on and on.

---

"Our fukutaichou's a monster!" One man whispered over to others who were dreading their upcoming battle with the infamous…Yachiru! She looked as if she were dancing as she dodged every single blow and quickly took them out. Zaraki yawned boredly at the sight as the pile of unconscious shinigami grew by the second. Yachiru was rubbing in the fact that she could beat them all without any effort. She soon started to sing a little ditty about Zaraki, Ikkaku and Yumichika as she fought.

"It's my turn now" One gulped as he charged forward with his zanpakutou drawn.

"…And now you go boom!" Yachiru sang out as she kicked the shinigami's face really hard that sent him flying back to a wall.

---

"I don't think you should mock them" Byakuya warned his carefree lieutenant.

"Too bad, should've told me sooner" Rina told him as she flipped a page of her manga as she dodged a punch to the head.

"Well at least put up a fight" He told her.

"Fine" She sighed and kicked her opponent in the danger area for a man. He doubled over, while Rina hit him hard on his head knocking him out.

"NEXT!"

---

"Ugh…Mika when'd you get this strong?!" Hisagi gasped as he blocked Mika's zanpakutou with his.

"I've always been this strong!" She told him playfully.

"Taichou, shouldn't you fight the seated members?" Hisagi asked strained as he pushed Mika away.

"It's your job Hisagi, after all, aren't you stronger than all of them?" He asked.

"Well, Mika is…strong!" Hisagi complained as Mika once again swung her blade down forcefully.

"Mika don't use shikai" Renji yawned boredly.

"Aww…okay" She sighed as she kicked Hisagi down. "YAY I WIN!" She cheered as she jumped up and down on Hisagi's beaten body.

"Looks like you're gonna lose your title Hisagi" Renji smirked.

"Shuddup!"

---

"Are you sure you don't want me to take over?" Kyouraku asked concerned towards Ise who was battling perfectly fine without a hit on her.

"I'm perfectly capable of doing this myself taichou" She said irritated at his nice but annoying concern.

"Alright then, I just don't my kawaii, kawaii Nanao-chan to get hurt" He said as he took a sip of sake as he watched her battle.

"I will rip your tongue out if you don't stop babbling nonsense!" She threatened as she used a binding spell on a shinigami.

"Oh your threats…so cute yet so frightening…" He murmured awed by her threats.

"Oh why can't you be a normal person?" She muttered ignoring all of his lovey-dovey talk that she had no interest in.

---

"Taichou, are you sure you don't want to take over?" Oomaeda asked as he blocked a hit.

"For the last time, no!" Soifon told him frustrated at his weak efforts. "You're just lucky you're not fighting the Onmitsukidou all at the same time" She told him.

"Thank you god" Oomaeda thanked as he knocked another person out.

---

"Just remember all of your training, and you'll be fine!" Isane instructed the doctors and nurses in 4th Division as many members came like an infestation. "I hate this time of year…" Isane sighed as more and more people were brought in.

"Hanatarou, you doing okay?" Unohana asked Hanatarou who was taking care of a lot of people at the same time.

"I'm fine" He sighed as he tended to another. "They're only supposed to be knocked out unconscious, not brutally tortured"

"Hmm…that makes me wonder what some of these lieutenants are doing…" Unohana wondered as she walked away to check on others.

---

"AAAHHH NO FAIR TORI!!" Rangiku screamed as her own zanpakutou, Haineko was pitted against her. She had released Haineko allowing her to scatter to attack fiercely, but Tori released her zanpakutou and blew all the ash to chase after Rangiku who was defenseless.

"WHEEEEEE this is fun! How come we only do this once a year?" Tori asked as she continued to chase Rangiku just for the fun of it.

"Cuz this always happens!" Rangiku wailed. "Give back Haineko!!" She pleaded.

"Why don't you just call her back?" Hitsugaya muttered quietly. "I guess I should've told them not to go to shikai" He sighed, but looked up and the cat and mouse game that was unraveling. "Nah, this is better" He decided.

"WATCH OUT!" Rangiku shouted towards her captain as she ducked suddenly while Haineko crashed at where Hitsugaya was previously sitting. Luckily he had jumped out of the way only to have Haineko run up to him.

"Soten ni zase, Hyourinmaru!" He shouted out and unleashed a wave of ice down onto it.

"Taichou!! I need Haineko to fight!" Rangiku cried out once she saw her frozen sword.

"We'll just crack it open!" Tori decided.

"You might destroy her then!" Rangiku warned her as they tried to think of another plan to get Rangiku's zanpakutou out of the ice block.

"We'll need fire!" Tori shouted out and ran off towards somewhere.

"For now, just use kidou, shunpo and hakuda" Hitsugaya told her.

"Oh alright" She sighed.

---

"Um…I'm kinda busy right now Tori, if you haven't already noticed" Rina said strained as she dodged heavy swings being swung down on her.

"Yeah but we kinda need you to defrost Haineko" Tori said.

"It's a sunny day, the sun will defrost it for her" Rina pointed out as she restrained her opponent. "Oh and when you go back, tell Renji that Rikichi has really improved" She told Tori.

"Ok!" She said and started to run back.

"Rikichi, you can stop now" Rina told him as he struggled to get out of Bakudou.

"No, I can continue!" He said determined.

"No seriously stop, I have to go through the rest of these people and you're wasting time!" She tried to reason with him.

"Rikichi, if you stop now, we might consider transferring you over to 9th Division" Byakuya spoke up. Rikichi's face lit up and he quickly moved aside gratefully. "Freak" Byakuya muttered as Rikichi obeyed every command given to him.

* * *

"Uh-oh…" Yachiru gasped as she saw that she had knocked out nearly all of her division. "Ken-chan!" She called out pointing to the unconscious people. "I think I'm done"

"Ikkaku, Yumichika, help us drag these bodies to 4th Division" Zaraki said stretching out his legs from sitting for a very long time.

"Fine" They sighed and started lifting people. A bunch of other conscious people helped out too while Yachiru decided to run off somewhere to play or just bug people in general.

---

"Hey, Renji help me up!" Hisagi said as he lay out of breath on the ground. Renji, the Good Samaritan he was, helped Hisagi up.

"It wasn't that bad!" Renji told him.

"HAHA very funny Mr. Sit-Back-and-Watch" Hisagi told him.

"Aah…yeah I remember those days…beating up the newcomers because they said something about my eyebrows…or my hair color" Renji said remembering when Byakuya would have to take over because Renji would waste half the day giving the shinigami a long lecture.

"You're talking like an old man taichou" Mika told him as she walked by.

---

"If I don't show up at work tomorrow, you better not blame me" Rina said as the last beaten up shinigami made it to the filled 4th Division.

"It didn't look so hard" Byakuya told her.

"Maybe that's because all you did was watch me kick butt!" She told him.

"Don't worry it's only a once a year thing"

"Somehow that doesn't comfort me"

---

"Rukia, you're doing this next time" Ukitake said as he walked into his division.

"Yeah I know…unless I have another baby that is…" Rukia muttered.

"I will murder you if you do!" Ukitake threatened all worked out from testing his subordinates. He normally never engaged in long combats due to his sickness but somehow that little workout training had drained his strength.

"Ah quiet you, I already had the lecture from nii-sama" Rukia shushed him.

* * *

"Man I hate evaluating them!" Hinamori groaned stretching her arms out.

"You're telling me!" Oomaeda sighed. "Taichou wouldn't help me out when this crazy psychopath was on the verge on killing me!"

"Well they were only supposed to intervene if the crazy psychopath had 2 pots of coffee or was on drugs" Hisagi told him.

"He had 4 pots of coffee and had a big issue of losing" Oomaeda told him.

"Oh…taichou's today, they don't care about their lieutenants" Rangiku sighed as she took a sip of sake out of her bottle. "Oh whoops, forgot about you there Rina" Rangiku giggled.

"Shut it Rangiku, and besides what about you and Gin?" She retorted with a smirk.

"Hey there is nothing going on between us lady, understand!?" Rangiku told her in a serious tone.

"Like we haven't heard that before" Izuru said.

"After today, I don't think I'll show up tomorrow" Iba yawned lazily.

"Sorry to burst your bubble Iba, but we have a meeting tomorrow with our taichou's" Ise told him.

"Oh great!" They all sighed.

"About what this time?" Rangiku moaned.

"I'm not sure, something about our behavior or something" Ise told them.

"We're fukutaichou's, not grade school students!" Rukia said exasperated. "Well there's Yachiru but you get my point!"

"Yeah, but still…what's wrong with our behavior?" Isane asked wonderingly.

"The old guy's losing it" Hisagi said.

* * *

"SO how was training?" Tori asked Rina as she flopped down on the couch, exhausted.

"It was hell and did you tell Renji about Rikichi?" Rina asked.

"Yup, and his face went white! And Mika owned Hisagi today, but she said that it didn't count since she caught him off guard" Tori told her.

"Uh-huh…interesting, anyways I have this stupid meeting tomorrow morning so you and Mika are gonna have to figure out to deal with the breakfast thing by yourselves" Rina told her.

"No problem-o! We always go through this so we know what to do!" Tori assured giving the thumbs up sign.

"Alright, just don't destroy the new fridge like how the guy's did!" Rina advised her remembering how the captains had torn off the door, busted the light bulb, removed the shelves, somehow obliterated the cooling system and hijacked all the ketchup packets. Obviously, they had to replace the fridge, and from that day on, they made sure they didn't go around it.


	27. Chapter 27

Yamamoto observed the 25 shinigami before him. Some had just woken up, or still sleeping. Regardless, he started the meeting whether or not they were alive or not. "Well, the reason I have called you all here today is quite simple" Yamamoto started regardless whether or not the captains and lieutenants were wide awake. "Your behavior, and I speak for all of you is simply not at the best as it was a few years ago" He told them, some shinigami were startled but others stared straight on. "It is absolutely ridiculous; allowing your subordinates to do their own thing, procrastinating on your work, unauthorized parties, dangerous things etc." He listed and now every shinigami looked at him.

"Excuse me, soutaichou?" Ichigo intercepted. "If I could, could you elaborate on 'unauthorized parties'?" He asked.

"Sake time's, random parties not including birthday parties, cake or pies in faces… still with the burning candles..." He told him.

"But what's wrong with sake times? They're authorized" Rangiku blurted out.

"She's right, there are usually 2 or more captains at them" Iba said.

"Even so, you guys have been slacking off on your work lately, I can't let these shenanigans continue" Yamamoto countered bringing up the work issue. "Things aren't getting done on time at all, what am I supposed to do about this?" He asked them for suggestions or answers as to why work wasn't completed on time.

"You could make the deadline a lot longer" Renji spoke up.

"Or you could just lessen the workload for us" Hinamori suggested.

He sighed at the 2 suggestions that circled around more time. "What have you been doing with all your time?" He asked. "Maybe one of you 5 could answer this for me: Kuchiki-fukutaichou, Tsukiyomi-fukutaichou, Hinamori-fukutaichou, Hisagi-fukutaichou, and Matsumoto-fukutaichou"

"Umm…" They stammered. "Funny you should mention _that_…" They laughed nervously.

"Anything to do with a Harley Davidson coming down the stairs; does that ring a bell?" He suggested.

"Well…"

* * *

_**.:Flashback:.**_

_"Okay, there's no one here! Let's do this!" One shinigami yelled to a couple others that were aboard a Harley Davidson that was ready to come right down the stairs. "Ready, set…" He readied them. "Go-ahhh fukutaichou-sama!" He yelled out in fright when he saw 5 lieutenants stare up at his 2 other friends aboard the motorcycle._

_"Were you guys going to ride that down the stairs?" Rukia asked._

_"Well…we were but now that you guys are here we shouldn't…right?" He asked sheepishly._

_"Wait, what the hell are you talking about?" Hisagi asked._

_"Well, normally all taichou's would never allow this cuz they don't know what fun is. And since you guys are fukutaichou's, you'd report this to your captain" He explained while his friend shut the engine off of the motorcycle._

_"Psh, you really think that we wouldn't allow this?" Rina asked nearly laughing._

_"Go ahead!" Rangiku told them._

_"Alright…" He said unsure of the outcome. As he shouted up to them, his friends revved down the stairs successfully without crashing at all._

_"Wow, it actually worked" Hinamori remarked._

_"I actually thought they would've crashed and get hurt or something" Hisagi said._

_"They're not the only ones that'll get hurt" Said some angry but familiar voices. The lieutenants groaned as they turned around to see their captains._

* * *

The flashback had made those 5 lieutenants smirk slightly remembering something they wouldn't forget. However they had already forgotten what their punishment was.

"Obviously, you remember this and that proves that you have been cutting out from your work" He stated.

"Sorry to interrupt but…" Rangiku intercepted. "They thought it was fun! And they said that you captain people were boring! Obviously people think the same way we do!" She told them.

"However, you are high-ranking people it's no wonder why they'd think it would be fun; they're imitating you guys!" Ukitake stepped in. "You guys are role models to them, so grow up!"

"How strange is it that the person who tells us to grow up can't teach 3 girls to grow up in 5 years" Rina spoke up with a smirk.

"Be quiet you! You 3 were being very defiant and stubborn!" Ukitake retorted pointing a finger at her.

"…It's rude to point" Rukia said and slapped his hand down to his side.

"Don't forget that _I am_ a rank **higher** than you" Ukitake reminded Rina.

"Don't forget that _I _give you your medication" Rina responded to his remark.

"Don't forget that…that…" Ukitake stammered unable to think of something. "Ooh that was a good one!"

Yamamoto tried to keep the meeting on track but that was kinda lost once Rukia exclaimed that the baby was moving. Then Yachiru got excited and wanted to feel the baby move. She then asked why Rukia ate the baby. Everyone went silent and wanted to avoid the whole situation again. It was bad enough that Yachiru had had an interest in how babies were made; they really didn't need her to bring the situation up again until a few more years.

"Uh…maybe we should listen to what Yamamoto-soutaichou has to say first…" Rukia decided rounding up everyone back to the meeting.

"Well since you just proved my point on you guys not being able to pay attention…" He sighed. "I think—" He stopped seeing as some were not listening to him, rather they were talking about their own things not giving a damn for the whole lecture. "Alright you have crossed the line!" He yelled out unable to hide his anger. "From now on all shinigami with the exception of captains of course, can only do things approved by 2 shinigami captains! Dismissed!" He told them and left in a flash.

"Do you think he could've repeated that?" Yachiru asked. "I didn't hear all of it"

* * *

"So we can only do things when approved by 2 captains?" Tori asked in disbelief.

"That has to be the **STUPIDEST** rule in the whole entire worlds!" Mika yelled out ready to hack away at something.

"You're telling me" Rina sighed at the stupid rule that had just been instated.

"Wait I have a plan!" Tori said with a sly smile. "Here's what we do…" She whispered into Rina's and Mika's ears.

* * *

So for the next week, every single day went something like this:

"Tori, can you send this to 3rd Division?" Hitsugaya asked.

"Fine but I'm gonna have to ask 2 captains if I can first!" She told him getting off the couch. "Oh wait, I'm gonna need permission to open the door! Then I'm gonna have to have permission to see if I can step a foot outta here!" She said out loud. "Looks like I can't do anything for you today SORRY!" She said masking her smile and giggle with a disappointed sigh.

"Why you--!!" Hitsugaya said through gritted teeth, so basically he was stuck with all the work to do.

---

"Why aren't any of you working?" Byakuya asked his entire division that was slacking off, lying around just staring off into space.

"Because we need to have 2 captains to approve of us working before we can start" Rina told him. "But we can't cuz we can't step out of here without permission" She continued on. "And also…no one told us to"

"One of these days…" He muttered glaring daggers into each person's head.

---

"MIKA GET OUTTA BED!!" Renji yelled angrily at her who was still sleeping through the day.

"I CAN'T!!" She yelled back through the closed door.

"Why?" He asked.

"Cuz no one said I was allowed to!" She responded.

"Well I say you can so get out!" He yelled to her.

"Well I'll need one more captain to allow me to!" She told him.

"Wha--? Mika just get out! Who cares about the rules?!" Renji tried to reason with her.

"But then I'll get into trouble!" She whined.

"So what? At least some work will be done!" He told her.

"But I need permission to work!" She reminded him.

"Mika!!!" Renji groaned giving up on trying to get her to work.

"BY THE WAY IT'S A CRIME TO TRESPASS!!" Mika yelled out. "I FIND YOU GUILTY OF BREAKING IN AND ENTERING!!"

"This has to be the most idiotic rule ever made!" Renji grumbled.

* * *

Those were some situations involving work, now when it came to life or death situations; it was a whole different level.

"Tori, can you pass me the hammer?" Hitsugaya asked as he was trying to fix a shelf that had somehow collapsed slightly.

"Let me see…" She said and walked over to an open window and yelled out to any captains that could be listening. "CAN I HELP HITSUGAYA-TAICHOU GET A HAMMER?" She hollered out hearing her own echo. "…Hmm no response…sorry Shiro-chan" She shrugged.

"Uh…Rina get your friend to get a hammer for me!" He yelled out as Rina walked in with paperwork for them.

"…Are you blind?" She asked him, he gave her a curious look. "I'm no captain!" She told him before leaving.

"No wait!!!" He pleaded; he just simply couldn't hang on to the shelf for the whole entire day at all. But he couldn't get a hammer from anybody at all. He did have the choice of letting the shelf go, but then he'd get hurt in the process. It was a lose, lose situation for him. But it was a win, win situation for people wanting to get revenge.

---

"Oh good you're here, help me get this thing off my foot!" Byakuya said as he struggled to lift a huge metal cabinet off of his foot.

"Wish I could but I'll need to get that approved" She told him as she sat down and watched him try to lift the thing off. "How the hell did you get that on your foot?" She asked after watching him for a few seconds.

"If you hadn't taken your time walking to 10th Division and back, you would've seen how" He grumbled.

---

"Mika I'm bleeding!!" Renji shrieked as he ran to her with a cloth wrapped around his arm.

"That's nice" She responded not paying attention.

"So can you bandage it up for me?" He asked concerned about bleeding to death.

"I wish I could but I need permission don't I?" She asked him.

"Well you have my permission so help me!" He yelled out.

"Where's the second captain?" She asked.

"What? OH NEVERMIND!!" Renji yelled and bolted straightaway to the one and only place where he could get free bandages.

* * *

Soon many other shinigami picked up this habit and started to rebel against their own captains. The captains were helpless since they actually were following the rules which were quite unusual and very, very annoying. The captains soon ran to Yamamoto, trying to persuade him to change his mind. They told him their near-death experiences because no one would help them out. How they couldn't get work done since no one had allowed them to. And as well as attitude changes throughout Seireitei, how messy it was now, and how powerless they were. Yamamoto sighed and only stated that that was how he was going to discipline the shinigami and teach them that not everything goes their way. He had heard their little protests through the loopholes, so all he did was reinforce the fact that the captains had to keep a very close watch on them.

"Damn them!" Soifon cursed as she paced back and forth across the room. The 10 captains agreed with her; for one, their leader wouldn't help them with their problem and 2, their own subordinates decided to go against them.

"It can't be helped" Ichigo sighed helplessly.

"But there has to be another way for them to prove to Yamamoto-sensei that they are responsible" Ukitake said trying to think of a better solution.

"Well the thing is they are responsible; they just don't act it" Unohana spoke up.

"I know" Renji said right after Unohana's comment. "We'll put them up to a test" He said.

"What kind?" Mayuri asked.

"Survival" Renji responded easily.

"What?!" The others reacted to Renji's wild suggestion.

"Think about it, if we ditch them in Rukongai, without their zanpakutou's they're going to have to realize that they have to take charge and work in order to survive" Renji explained. "I say we leave them there for a week"

"Rukia's not going at all!" Ichigo yelled out standing up from his seat.

"Nemu has to help me with some experiments" Mayuri added on.

"Isane and I have to deal with some very serious injuries" Unohana said.

"I don't think Sasakibe should go since all he does is stalk—I mean follow sou-taichou's orders" Hitsugaya spoke up.

"Okay, so we have 4 empty spots…can anyone think of anybody to replace those spots?" Renji asked. Automatically 2 names came right off the bat. "Well it's obvious the 3 Musketeers are going but who's the other two?" Renji asked once everyone both said Mika and Tori and the same time.

"Ikkaku and Yumichika" Zaraki said rushed.

"Okay so it's one week of 'camping' in Rukongai" Ukitake concluded.

* * *

_"Meet at the Seireimon Gates at 10 AM"_

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rangiku asked as she removed the pink flower sticky note from the light switch as she had flicked it on.

---

"A mission perhaps?" Yumichika asked Ikkaku puzzled from the note someone had left on the messy desk.

---

"What's going on?" Mika asked as she and the other 12 arrived at the Seireimon Gates to see their captains with either a smug smirk or a bright beam.

"Congratulations!" Ukitake congratulated them happily. "You and your 12 other friends have just won a free trip to Rukongai for 1 week free of charge!!" He announced as he and the other captains enthusiastically (picture that especially with the serious people) threw up confetti, blew noisemakers and wore party hats.

"…You're freaking me out" Mika commented on the sudden news.

"It was worth a shot!" Ukitake sulked as all the confetti fell to the ground lifelessly, noisemakers and party hats were thrown down onto the ground while the captains all crawled into a corner to mope.

"…Old people are weird" Yachiru commented.


	28. Chapter 28

"No zanpakutou's, not allowed to return to Seireitei, stuck in Rukongai for a week?!" Rangiku yelled out to the vast emptiness of the forest.

"It's okay Rangiku!" Tori assured her.

"What part of stuck for a week in Rukongai is okay?" She asked.

"Mika's uncle was a survivalist" Tori said and pointed to Mika.

"Really?" Hisagi asked.

"Yup" Mika answered. "Well actually he was my distant step-uncle twice removed…then he was joined back in…I seriously don't know what happened to him…"

"So what do we do first?" Yumichika asked as he did not want to stay one whole week in the wild Rukongai forests.

"Okay, well we need shelter so…Ikkaku, Yumichika you guys get branches from trees, preferably dead ones" She instructed the two. "Iba, Hisagi, and Kira you guys go out and help them too" She told them. "Tori and I will stay here and construct a rooftop and if we have time the walls" She said. "Rina, Ise you guys go get food and herbs in case any of us get sick" She told them. "Oomaeda, Rangiku, Yachiru, and Hinamori you guys gather tall grasses, twigs, sticks and other stuff that we might need for our shelter" Mika told everybody.

"Ok!" They said and went off.

"…So what do we do?" Tori asked Mika who was looking up at the trees.

"Well…we have to get a frame for the roof right now, and we're gonna be really busy" Mika said as she observed the trees. "We have 13 people and we're gonna divide our shelter in half from gender…" Mika muttered thinking how much room they'd need. She automatically knew that Yumichika and Rangiku were going to need a lot of room and then there was Oomaeda, the big-boned lieutenant. "Tori can you blow those logs over?" Mika asked pointing at some fallen trees from a previous storm. Tori was able to manipulate the wind a bit but that was good enough to blow them over. "Ok, these should be good" Mika said setting up the four logs into a square shape.

"How are we going to attach them together?" Tori asked.

"…Good question" Mika sighed scratching her head.

* * *

"Are you sure we can take all this stuff?" Ise asked Rina as she was yanking out items from her old house full of skeletons.

"Of course we can! Nobody uses them anymore and besides its okay with them" She said motioning to the skeletons helping move the stuff out.

"But why don't we all just stay here?" Ise asked.

"1. it's not the best living conditions 2. It's dangerous and 3. We can't really get in with the acid swamp around here" She told her reminding Ise that Rina had to help Ise across the huge swamp.

"Oh right…the swamp" Ise said as she helped Rina grab some curtains that they'd use for doors or something.

* * *

"Ok. We've got all the wood you wanted" Ikkaku said as he and the others dropped a huge pile of logs down onto the ground.

"Ok great, now we have to attach them together to make walls" Mika instructed.

"…How do we do that?" Ikkaku asked.

"We have to tie them together with something, but I dunno what we could use" Mika sighed.

"What about rope?" Tori suggested.

"…Tori, we don't have rope" Hisagi told her. Tori pointed past Hisagi, he looked behind them to see Ise and Rina with a lot of skeletons with them dragging a lot of stuff with them. Amongst all the things they had taken was rope.

"Told ya so" Tori said with a smug smirk.

"Ok…but what about food?" Mika asked them.

"Don't worry about it, Aizen took care of it" Rina told her.

"What do you mean 'Aizen took care of it'?" Mika asked.

"Oh here it comes" Rina said looking up at the sky. "You guys might want to move over a bit" She told them.

"INCOMING!!" Someone yelled from above. Suddenly a picnic table and a basket came flying down. A fridge fell down as well with a huge thud, there was also a microwave and a lot of tables and chairs that looked as if they'd come from a patio set. The umbrella opened revealing the final touches.

"…Wow" That was all Mika could say as she saw their week long supply of food.

"Well I guess that means we'll have more help constructing our shelter now!" Tori said happily.

* * *

After a few long hours of constructing, yelling, arguing and falling down…their shelter was finished. It was already getting dark and they were getting really, really hungry.

"One question" Yumichika said as he was going to take a bite of food. "How do we know if Aizen hadn't poisoned this?" He asked. "He tried to kill us a few years ago so wouldn't he try so again?" He asked.

"Here's how we find out" Tori said. "You eat it, if you die we won't eat it at all" She told him.

"Why me?" He whined.

"Because you're the least likely person anybody would miss" Ikkaku said.

"What?" Yumichika asked appalled.

"It's true, sorry Yumi" Yachiru told him.

"Hmph! You're just jealous cuz I look _SO_ good!" He huffed turning his back to them.

"Right that's exactly it" Rina said sarcastically.

* * *

"Wow…I can't believe that it's so hard to not work with a lieutenant" Ichigo commented when he returned back to the Kuchiki household.

"Told ya we do work" Rukia told him, lying down on the couch reading a magazine.

"I had a weird dream about the baby last night" Ichigo said as she sat down on the couch.

"Really, was it a boy or girl?" Rukia asked getting interested.

"…A boy…a **goat boy**" Ichigo said. Rukia gave him a look of confused interest. "Remember when he moved last night and we thought it was a leg?" He asked her; she nodded. "What if it was a hoof?" He asked.

Rukia chuckled a bit from his exaggerated story before responding to him. "Even if our baby was a goat I'd still love him because he's our goat boy!" She told him. Ichigo nodded and tried to clear his head. "Maaaahhh!" Rukia bleated acting as a goat.

"Stop it!" Ichigo pleaded.

"Oh there he goes again!" Rukia exclaimed when she felt the life inside of her move again.

"Hey Ichigo there's a weird guy following us!" Renji said as he ran into his house.

"It's your dad!" Hitsugaya said trying to fend off the 'rabid beast' called Isshin. "Back off! I'm already in a relationship!" He yelled back having a hand gripped onto Hyourinmaru.

"Dad? I thought you went home already!" Ichigo said standing up.

"I did then I forgot something here…but I forgot what it was…" He said sheepishly.

"…That doesn't mean you get to flirt with those guys!" Ichigo said pointing at Renji and Hitsugaya who gave him a glare. "Here's your Build-A-Bear, now go home!" He said throwing a plushy over to him and pointed to the door.

"Ooh Rukia, how's my little grandson or granddaughter doing?" He asked excitedly ignoring Ichigo's protests.

"Doing fine" Rukia answered after whispering goat.

"How many more weeks?" Isshin asked curiously.

"2"

"Wow that sorta collides with your wedding day, hope you don't go in labor in the middle of the reception!" Renji said quite alarmed.

"Oh no kidding! That'd be so weird" Rukia agreed with Renji.

"Well I gotta go now!" Isshin said heading towards the door. "Yuzu and Karin get off at around this time, gotta go see them!" He said. "Hey in-law!" He greeted Byakuya before running off.

"Lock the doors next time" Ichigo told the 2 other captains who were previously running away from Isshin.

"How many more days before those guys come back?" Renji asked.

"5 days moron!" Ichigo told him. "It's only been 2 days!"

"Uh-oh" Rukia muttered.

"Huh what's that?" Ichigo asked Rukia who was in a state of discomfort.

"I'm contracting" She said.

"Isn't that normal?" Ichigo asked.

"Yeah but they're getting closer and closer" She said.

The people in the room grew silent as their eyes widened in shock.

* * *

"I'm amazed we managed to not only build an inn for a shelter but also build a tiki hut!" Ise said cheerfully.

"No kidding, wait till those dimwitted captains swing by" Hisagi said evilly.

"Hey how did Aizen manage to get tropical fruit for the tiki drinks?" Tori wondered.

"Stole them from the greenhouse" Ikkaku answered.

"We have a greenhouse?" Oomaeda asked amazed.

"Yep, they've been hiding it for a long, long time!" Yumichika told them.

"Greenhouse…you mean the one by the kitchen?" Rina asked.

"Yeah that one" Yachiru answered.

"…That's been there the whole time…what the hell are you guys talking about?" Mika asked them.

"What it has?"

"HEY YOU GUYS!!" Someone hollered from the outskirts of the forest.

"You hear something?" Rangiku asked them.

The yelling got louder and louder. Soon they realized that it was 2 of their captains—Ukitake and Kyouraku. When they walked upon the new civilization that had just been established they were in a state of shock but approving of what they had done.

"You guys made all this in 2 days?" Ukitake asked as he observed the tiki hut.

"Yup"

"Okay then…have you seen Zaraki and his men or Unohana and Isane around?" Ukitake asked wonderingly.

"Nope"

"Why? Are they out here?!" Yachiru asked excitedly hoping to see Ken-chan.

"Yeah, Zaraki-taichou took his men out for training this morning. Then we got an urgent message from them needing a medic right away" Kyouraku explained.

"Haven't seen them" Hinamori said enjoying her tiki drink.

"Darn we were really hoping that you guys had seen at least Unohana-taichou" Ukitake sighed.

"You need her or something?" Izuru asked.

"Yeah…Ichigo says he needs a doctor to check up on Rukia's and the baby's status" Kyouraku told them.

"Ohh…well good luck with searching for them!" Iba said as he waved them off.

"We're not leaving yet!" Kyouraku told him. "We came to get you guys!" He went on.

"What?" They asked confused.

"We found out that we can't work well without you guys so come back with us!" Ukitake offered.

"…This sounds like a cheesy effort to get us back to the office only to dump a sh-t load worth of work onto us" Ikkaku told him.

"Ok it is but just come back please!!!" They pleaded.

"We'll give you 90 percent discount on shopping at the stores there!" Ukitake offered.

"DEAL!!" Rangiku yelled out.

"Fine" They sighed unhappily having to ditch their 2 days work of constructing.

* * *

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Rukia screeched from pain.

"What're we supposed to do?!" Ichigo asked panicking.

"Get a doctor!!" Renji told him shaking him repeatedly.

"Byakuya isn't there a doctor in here?!" Ichigo yelled over Rukia's spasms of pain.

"No there isn't!" He told him trying to calm Rukia down.

"YOU CALL YOURSELF A NOBLE?!" Ichigo roared amazed by the fact that the Kuchiki household didn't have a personal doctor.

"Ichigo…come here for a sec…" Rukia said calming down. Seeing as she had calmed down for the moment, Ichigo made his way towards her. As soon as he got close she grabbed him by the hem of his uniform and pulled him in close to her face ruthlessly. "**YOU DID THIS TO ME SO FIND A FRICKING WAY TO GET ME OUTTA THIS!!**" She yelled into his ear threateningly.

"Wha?" Ichigo asked fearfully for his life.

"GET A DOCTOR!!" Rukia wailed.

"I don't like your tone!" Ichigo told her folding his arms and staying put defiantly.

"**JUST GO AND GET ME A FRICKING DOCTOR!!!**" She yelled once more and grabbing Ichigo by the head and throwing him forcefully into the wall creating a crater.

"…We'll go get a doctor" Renji said fearfully as they had just seen what had happened to Ichigo who was lying lifeless in the wall.

"Yeah…we'll just go…" Hitsugaya said mustering all he had to say just those 4 words.

"**WELL HURRY UP!!**" Rukia screeched throwing a lamp narrowly missing Renji's head by a few millimeters.

* * *

"You said 1 week and that now means 2 days…what's a month Uki-kun?" Mika asked him.

"Who cares?!" Ukitake asked annoyed.

"Thank god you guys are here!" Renji yelled out thankfully as he ran up to the homecoming group.

"Rina come with me!" Byakuya said frantically as he grabbed her by the arm and ran off.

"What? What's going on Byakuya?" She asked fearing that her own arm would be ripped off.

"It's an emergency, can't explain right now!" He said.

"What's going on?" Tori asked seeing her friend get dragged away seconds ago.

"All of you get back to work, Tori, Mika follow us" Hitsugaya ordered.

"What's going on Shiro-chan?" Tori asked still confused.

"Rukia's water…kinda broke" Ichigo explained breathlessly as he had just met up with them.


	29. It's A !

_This is the last 'actual' chapter for this story--Chapter 30 is the epilogue--just to let ya know._

* * *

"What?!" Mika and Tori asked…well more like yelled into Ichigo's ear.

"Wait…her water _kinda_ broke?" Mika asked.

"I never heard of someone's water _kinda_ breaking" Tori added on.

"HER WATER FRICKING BROKE COME ON!!" Ichigo yelled to the world.

* * *

"…You want me to deliver a baby?" Rina asked appalled by the sudden request.

"You're the only one that's qualified to do this!" Byakuya explained to her as they watched the elders and servants try to calm Rukia down.

"…Byakuya…" Rina spoke up quietly. "**I DON'T HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE IN THIS FIELD OF WORK! DUMMY!**" She informed him.

"How's Rukia doing?" Ichigo asked them as he ran up to them.

"Take a look" Rina pointed into the room where Rukia was calmly lying down on a futon.

"Oh thank god!" Ichigo said thankfully and went to her side. "Rukia, I'm here for you. So just squeeze my hand every time you feel pain—**AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!**" He yelped as Rukia had squeezed his hand almost immediately he had said that. Apparently she had just been suppressing her yells just so she could have enough energy to deliver her kid.

"Ok, what're we supposed to do?!" Renji asked Rina, everyone looked at her.

"Why are you guys looking at me?!" She asked freaked out.

"Cuz you were in 4th division! Shouldn't you know what to do?" Tori asked her.

"…Not many people here get themselves pregnant and deliver a baby you know!" Rina informed them.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Someone screamed out. They all assumed it was Rukia but it was actually Ichigo. He wasn't really yelling he was actually crying from the pain in his hand. You could actually easily tell it was him because he was trying to wrench his hand free and tears were streaming down his face.

"Alright I'll do it then!" Rina sighed in defeat.

"You know what to do then?" Mika asked.

"Nope but I'm just gonna go with what happened in the _Fullmetal Alchemist_ manga" She said walking into the delivery room. "Get me a basin of hot water and some towels" She instructed the 3 captains. "Tori, Mika grab some disinfectant and all of you guys get out!!" She ordered the servants and elders.

"Wait a minute…is that what you're always reading at work?!" Byakuya asked her before taking his leave.

"JUST GO!!" She yelled pointing out.

"I think I'm gonna have to amputate my hand!" Ichigo moaned; his hand had already turned purple in less than a minute.

"Okay then, we'll get the chainsaw after" Rina told him.

"HUH!?" Ichigo asked terrified and tried to free his hand desperately.

"Not yet…you're going to have to wait a bit more Rukia" Rina told her.

"I'll try!" She said exhausted from yelling and screaming.

"We're back!" Mika sang out cheerfully but stopped abruptly seeing Rukia's flustered face.

"Uh…congratulations?" Tori said meekly.

"…So what's your call doc?" Renji asked setting the basin of hot water down. "Will she need a C-section?" He asked.

"**RENJI SHUDDUP!!**" Rukia yelled out at him and was ready to throw something at him.

"Don't say stupid things like that!" Mika scolded Renji.

"I was just wondering…" Renji muttered.

"So what do we do now?" Hitsugaya asked.

"We wait!" Tori answered.

"SO…how was the great outdoors?" Ichigo asked them ignoring the pain in his hand.

"Oh it was great! Yeah, roasting marshmallows, stargazing, scary stories, singing Kumbaya it was the best thing that had ever happened to us!" Tori told them.

"…Kumbaya?" Renji asked.

"It was that or the Happy Song" Mika said. "Remember when we got the Pokey-poke?" She asked him remembering the 'catastrophe' that involved a lot of poking.

"Oh yeah...don't poke me again" He told her fearing that the so-called "curse" would break out again.

* * *

**FF 2 HOURS**

"Ow!" Rukia yelped.

"What happened?" Tori asked.

"The baby kicked!" Rukia exclaimed.

"…almost there Rukia!" Rina told her.

"Thank you, I just want this to be done and over with!" She sighed.

"You sure are brave Rukia!" Mika complimented her. "I never want to have kids, I doubt I'll be able to handle the pain!"

"Come on, you can watch freakishly scary movies you'll be able to handle it!" Renji said.

"Do you know how big a baby's head is?" Rukia asked him.

"Like the size of a small melon" Renji said creating a circle with his hands.

"EXACTLY!! It'd obviously hurt!" Rukia informed him. "Imagine you peeing out a tennis ball" She told them.

"...Ow..." They muttered feeling uncomfortable.

"Now you know what we have to go through" Rina told them; they nodded and stayed quiet.

"You're just lucky that you guys aren't seahorses!" Tori told the captains in the room who looked away innocently.

"I heard screaming what's going on?!" Nariko and Yachiru asked as they barged into the birthing room.

"Uh..." All of them muttered not knowing what to do now. They were way too young to know how babies were created and now they were smack dab in the middle of a birthing procedure.

"Umm...could you guys leave for a few hours?" Rina asked plucking up the courage to talk to them.

"Why? How come Rukia is lying down?" They asked repeatedly like a broken record.

"...Could _SOMEONE_ get them out?!" Rukia hissed.

"KEN-CHAN IS CALLING YOU GUYS!!" Renji yelled out hoping that the duo would leave peacefully.

"He's in 4th Division's hospitals...again..." Yachiru told him.

"Besides why do you want us to leave?" Nariko asked curiously.

"...Hey why don't you 2 go play a game with Shiro-chan?" Tori offered.

Their faces lit up with joy and glee. "Can Ren-chan and Byaku play too?" Yachiru pleaded.

"YUP!" Mika nodded.

"Fine by me" Rina added on.

The captains just looked at the girls incredulously as they were being slowly dragged away to the next room otherwise known as the 'Room of Death'. They knew it would either be tea parties or dollies, either way it was just murder to them. The girls just smirked at their weak attempts to wriggle away from the two children.

"Maybe we should put on some music to calm this 'atmosphere' down" Mika suggested pulling out the radio.

"Good idea" Rukia agreed.

Mika turned on the radio and searched for a station.

"..._I'm bringing sexy back, them other boys don't know how to act_..." That was the first thing they heard and color drained from their faces as they stopped whatever they were doing.

"**TURNITOFFTURNITOFFTURNITOFFTURNITOFF!!**" They all yelled.

"It's not that bad though" Ichigo admitted.

"...ARE YOU EVEN A MAN?! THAT'S SO INAPPROPRIATE RIGHT NOW!!" Rukia reminded him through yelling.

"_Sleep Country **Seireitei**, why buy a mattress anywhere else_?" The radio sang out; once again everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at the radio.

"Cuz there **ISN'T** a _Sleep Country Seireitei_" Tori answered.

"What station is this?" Rina asked wonderingly.

"YO! This is Kon-sama here, awaiting all song requests!!" A very, **very** familiar voice shouted out.

"Kon!" Ichigo said and snapped his head over to the direction of the radio.

"Remember, call KON-SAMA or star666!!" Kon shouted out happily. "Now one of our favorites...!" Kon announced.

"I'm gonna murder him when I go back down there!" Ichigo swore determined.

"AAAAHH!!" Rukia tried to suppress her startled cry.

"Oh wow, he's coming out..." Rina told her.

"OK ICHIGO JUST REMEMBER WHAT YOU DID IN YOUR BIRTHING CLASSES WITH RUKIA AND YOU'LL BE FINE!!" Mika and Tori reminded him.

"Right!" He got behind Rukia's back and hugged her tight.

"OK, 1, 2, 3, PUSH!!"

* * *

"...This is murder" Hitsugaya grumbled through gritted teeth.

"Why are you complaining? This is high-quality tea!" Renji told him.

"...You owe me 5000 yen..." Byakuya told him since it was after all tea that was hijacked from the kitchen.

"...Do you take _Monopoly _money?" Renji asked shoving fake paper bills onto the tiny table they had in front of them.

"I TAKE MONOPOLY MONEY!!" Yachiru squealed and grabbed it.

"THANKS FOR THE TIP!!" Nariko added on as she and Yachiru left the household almost immediately.

"HEY!" Renji shouted out after them.

"I wonder how the birthing process is going..."Hitsugaya wondered.

* * *

"Isane, can you take care of this?" Unohana asked through her mask of calmness. Truthfully she was quite worried as she had heard of Rukia's situation.

"Uh...sure" Isane said as she walked over to Ikkaku's bedside who had a large gash down his arm.

"I won't be long!" Unohana told her as she left as quickly as she could.

* * *

"DAMMIT HOW MUCH MORE OF THIS?!" Rukia screamed as she scrunched her face up, while Ichigo supported her.

"You have a long way to go..." Rina informed her.

"DAMN! I HAVE A STRONG, STRONG FEELING ITS A BOY!" Rukia grumbled.

"How do you know?" Ichigo asked curiously.

"It's called mother's instinct!" She told him.

"Oh that crap" Ichigo nodded his head as he knew what she was talking about.

"It's not crap! It's accurate!!" Rukia told him.

"Yeah right" Ichigo responded not believing her at all.

"OH YOU JUST WAIT!!" Rukia told him.

"Less talking more pushing!" Mika told them.

"Oh yeah..."

* * *

"Hi Uno-chan!" Yachiru squealed happily as she and Nariko bounced up and down like kangaroos on crack.

"Hi" She smiled sweetly at them as her eyes went up and down watching the bouncing duo. "I'm off to the Kuchiki household now..." She spoke up as the 2 kids who could be considered sisters from the hyper-activity looked up at her with bright shining eyes...probably because they earned their wages in _Monopoly_ money.

"Oh they're fine!" Yachiru said pushing the subject aside.

"Yup everything's under control!" Nariko added on.

* * *

"EVERYTHING IS NOT ALL RIGHT AT ALL!!" Ichigo yelled panicking.

"OH SHUT UP YOU!!" Rina snapped at him.

"WHY SHOULD I?!" He asked furiously.

"CUZ THE DOCTOR SAYS SO, SO SHUT UP!!" Tori screamed out at him threatening him with a bedpan whom she had told a few dimwitted shinigami that it was a helmet.

"Just a few more!!" Rina told her. After a long, troublesome hour the baby was out and crying loudly.

"OH THANK GOD!!" Ichigo sighed in relief and attempted to go see his new child. However, Rukia didn't let go as she had a pained look on her face. "Rukia, we're done aren't we?" Ichigo asked worried.

"Oh no we're not!" She said with a grim look on her face.

"Is everything okay here?" Unohana asked as she timidly poked her head through the doorways.

"...Umm...could you take over?" Rina asked. "I just turned blind and deaf in 8 hours" She explained.

"8 hours? Wow that's pretty fast!" Unohana exclaimed.

"Well the screaming's done so I guess you're done!" Renji said confidently as he and the others marched into the room.

"...Ewww..." They commented on the newborn who was just a blob of...blobby-stuff.

"He hasn't been cleaned off yet and RUKIA YOU WERE RIGHT IT'S A BOY!!" Mika told her.

"I TOLD YA!!" Rukia told Ichigo slightly smirking but suddenly broke into a yell.

"What're you yelling for?!" Renji asked clamping his ears tight.

"I'll explain!" Rina told them as she, Tori and Mika kicked them out of the room.

* * *

"Twins?!" They asked wide-eyed.

"They so shouldn't have decided to keep it a secret!!" Renji said. "Oh wait...it's Ichigo that's going to suffer...nevermind!"

"No quadruplets" Rina stated sarcastically. "YES TWINS ARE YOU DEAF?!" She asked and slapped them awake.

"At the moment yes" Hitsugaya said having a hand clamped over an ear.

"Let's just sit out here until they're done" Tori decided at sat down in the middle of the hallway.

"Agreed" Mika and Rina said and sat down too.

"...We just sat down for 2 frickin hours!" Byakuya grumbled.

"Yeah and Yachiru and your niece pickpocketed me!" Renji added on.

"...You have money?" Rina asked Renji.

"It's Monopoly money, it doesn't count" Hitsugaya told him.

"...Is that where all that money went?" Mika asked and glared at Renji.

"Uhh..." Renji muttered and shuffled away from his spot slightly away from Mika in fear of getting hurt. Now knowing where all the money in her _Monopoly_ game went, she was ready to smack him upside the head.

* * *

"I can't believe this..." Ichigo said slowly, still shocked but also grateful having twins. "I have two little brats to take care of now" He said as he saw a boy and girl wrapped up and sleeping soundly. Whereas, a few hours ago they were screaming, crying and kicking their way out into civilization.

"Heh, good luck Berry Man!" Tori and Mika congratulated Ichigo by patting him on the head.

"So what're their names?" Rina asked curiously.

"The girl is Emiko, and the boy is Shinn" Rukia told them. "I just hope that they'll be like this most of the time" Rukia said exasperated.

"Oh yeah, do you guys think you could help us look after them for some time?" Ichigo asked the "Three Musketeers".

"...Do we get paid?" Mika asked keenly.

"Yeah real money, not Monopoly money?" Tori added on.

"Of course!" Rukia told them.

"...Does that mean we can take time off of work?" Rina asked Byakuya.

"Don't even think about it" The 3 captains said at once earning a pouty face from 3 girls.

"Well, if that's the case then we can't--wait, that's never stopped us before" Rina said.

"Yup" The other 2 agreed with her.

"Bah!" Shinn bopped Ichigo on his nose before falling back to sleep. Ichigo was stunned.

"I think that's a sign" Renji told him as everyone stared down at the infant that had just smacked Ichigo.


	30. Epilogue

After that 1 hectic day with Ichigo's and Rukia's children being born, everything resumed to its natural state. Yamamoto stopped barking out ridiculous orders and let the shinigami do whatever they wanted, people started to ditch work, mysterious smiley faces in pink ink appeared everywhere and of course Ichigo's and Rukia's wedding. Isshin was sobbing uncontrollably over the whole thing, in fact Ryuuken had to give him a strait jacket and keep Isshin in solitary confinement for a week just to be on the safe side. Even though now, it was so peaceful and quiet, it wasn't just so during the wedding. First the cake was a smidge too big, but nobody complained since it was a very tasty cake and everyone was fine with it. Second, when Rukia tossed the bouquet of flowers, it fell into Tori's hands first coincidentally, she then tossed it from surprise—it landed in Mika's hands. Being the lazy person she was, she walked over to Rina and dumped it in her hands, she in turn threw it up into the air from surprise just like Tori. In a matter of time the bouquet had landed in every girl's hands and found its way back to Rukia. Renji commented that it was a sign of the apocalypse which earned him a smack on the back of his head by Ichigo. They started to argue but Yachiru found a way to shut them up—shoving cake into their mouths.

What about Shinn and Emiko? Well they had slept through the whole thing, miraculously. Usually they'd wake up at some odd time and start crying. But during the whole 3 hours, they slept soundly, but when they returned, as if on cue they started to cry their heads off. They were in serious need of 'professional help' so they called the 3 people that they trusted the most. The Three Musketeers! Although they had made it look so easy, Rukia and Ichigo couldn't get the hang of it for a week, during the second week they got the trick and were able to raise their kids…without them biting them.

Mika was able to get her Monopoly game back into a full complete game after some negotiating with Yachiru. It didn't cost her anything, but Renji had to suffer instead. He kept protesting as to why he had to do something for Yachiru when it was Mika who requested the money back for the game. Mika didn't reply, instead she threw a little house at him and told him that was what he would live in if he didn't shut up.

With Tori, she started up a little business and earned a lot of ka-ching! Most of the money came from Rangiku who would stop by everyday. What was the business? It was a hairdressing thing she started up after she found enjoyment in styling people's hair. She had actually styled Hitsugaya's hair when he was taking an afternoon nap one day. After she was done with him it was quite hard to know who he was if you noticed him because of his hair. But don't worry, it grew all back to its snow white, short, spiky self. Oh and poor, poor Ukitake…but that's a different story…

With Rina, she had the enjoyment of ditching work pretty much everyday to help Rukia with her children while Ichigo worked. Tori and Mika pretty much took over Rina's job as lieutenant and used that time to bug the hell outta Byakuya. However one time, she felt like she was drowning in acid because a bunch of nobles stopped by to visit and started to interrogate her. If it wasn't for Rukia, she would've unleashed Hanabi onto them. Both women grew a strong dislike for that family but would try their best to restrain their bent up rage.

Right, now back to Ukitake… The poor guy was flooded with work due to Rukia's absence from work. She decided to spend a year with her children and let Kiyone and Sentarou and also Ukitake to take over. But unfortunately for Ukitake, Kiyone and Isane had decided to take a little vacation as suggested by Unohana. Sentarou could've done all the work in a heartbeat but he claimed that it was no fun to work without some sort of competition. So Ukitake was the unlucky victim of paperwork.

The rest of Seireitei was faring quite well despite having many conflicts involving Hueco Mundo but they had settled down quite well. Hueco Mundo also did settle down; with the Espada making sure of some of the activities of the hollows, they were able to hold back the amount of Menos appearing in the real world. After all, there had been many showing up during the time when they had kidnapped Orihime. And that brings this to Karakura Town.

We know that Isshin had an emotional breakdown having his son being married and leaving him. Yuzu still looked after the house since no one else could really; and Karin still looked over Yuzu as the big sister she was. And Kon, well let's just say he doesn't run a radio station anymore. He resumed his position as Bostaf, Yuzu's little plushy. Occasionally they'd get visits from Jinta and Ururu whenever they were bored. Urahara's little shop didn't get many visitors as much as they'd like. In fact, only Yuzu and Don Kanonji were basically the only customers. Still Urahara's business was thriving due to lying/negotiating to Kanonji about special ghost fighting equipment which would be a little lamp and a picnic basket. But overall they were fine, they were just thankful that Kanonji was so gullible!

* * *

**Tori:** Hey is this thing on?

**Mika:** Tori, you're heading a bit too close…

**Tori:** Oh it is working—ow!

**Mika:** I warned you!

**Tori:** Oh shut up! How can I tell if I'm about to hit a glass screen?

**Rina:** It's a camera…

**Tori:** QUIET YOU!! Anyways…this ain't the end of us

**Mika:** YUP!! We're gonna be back for 2 or 3 more stories, depends how much more stupid things we do…

**Rina:** From the rate we're at we'll be here forever

**Mika:** Are you saying that we could be Jackass material?!

**Rina:** That's nothing to be proud about…

**Mika:** I was just wondering… :(

**Tori:** So here's a sneak peek at the upcoming story!!!

* * *

_"…In an instant red lights flashed all around 12th division as the alarm blared loudly. Immediately all shinigami got to their places and investigated what was so urgent._

_"Rin what is it?" Akon asked her._

_"Crimson…it…it can't be!" She gasped._

_"What is it already?!" Mayuri snapped getting impatient. He gazed at the screen and couldn't believe his eyes. "Espada? What the hell are they doing in Karakura Town?" He asked half hoping someone could give him an answer._

_"I'm getting a visual" One shouted out. Up on the screen showed 3 Espada causing havoc in the town. Suddenly the screen dispersed leaving a black screen showing that they were disconnected."_

* * *

**Mika:** What?! Flappy betrayed us!?

**Rina:** Well it was bound to happen sometime…

**Tori:** If you knew of this why didn't you tell anyone Rina?

**Rina:** You never asked

**Tori:** "_You never asked_"…what the hell is that supposed to mean?

**Rina:** Ok cut!

**Mika:** Hey you don't get to call the shots here!

**Rina:** Shut the damned thing off already!

**Tori & Mika:** I'm still talk—

* * *

_Wow I actually ended this story a lot more 'normal' than the last one. Well anyways, see ya next time!! --HotarunoYami_


End file.
